Monthly Archives: May 2016

PLAY FROM THE HEART

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Ace Andres bistro1 

NOT FROM THE STAGE

Let me quote a musician that plays music I enjoy. His name is DAN BAIRD! Most of you have heard Dan on the song “Keep your hands to yourself”.  His music is entertaining and very desirable for the simple minded.  But although he acts like a redneck, Dan is smarter than his music makes him appear.  Dan once said in an Interview: “Once I put away my “YES” albums and other progressive rock albums and stuck with (as he calls it) Runka Runka songs. (Chuck Berry style). I was on my way.”  He had direction.  A few years later, “Keep your hands to yourself” became a hit.  Remember hits?

 

….Todd is the Irving Berlin of our time.

When I recorded my first album in 2002, it was called “Cowboy Hat Blues” it was a power blues album that was comparable to Pat Travers, Gary Moore and yes, Stevie Ray Vaughan. But the songs on that album that I like the most are the songs that sounded like an obscure artist (obscure to the public) named Todd Rundgren.  To me, Todd is the Irving Berlin of our time.  He made a name for himself in 1972 with AM hits like “Hello it’s me” and “I saw the light”. The first song I ever recorded was a blatant rip off of “I saw the light”.  (BTW the song is harder to play than it sounds) All of Todd’s songs are really hard to play especially if you’ve been playing Chuck Berry songs all of your life.

In 2005 I released my 2nd Album called American Infidel.  It was a Rockabilly Album with a few original metal protest songs on it and the Wave Magazine reviewed the Album and gave me the moniker: “The Guitar god of Los Altos”. It’s a label that’s impossible to live up to.  But American Infidel is my favorite Album that I’ve recorded.  Especially with songs like “Sleepwalk” and “Viva Las Vegas” on it.

…..I kept my monster locked in the cellar

 In 2008 I released an album that was a little of this and a little of that. There’s not a cover song on it, but it’s sort of a religious album with a heavy personal growth back beat.  There’s funk on it.  There’s even a little rap on it. (Only one short song). There’s a two part song that has a Prog Rock (YES/Close to the edge) intro then a song that sounds like Dave Edmunds wrote that it transitions to.  I have a song with a Hawaiian title called “Ho’Oponopono”. The album was recorded as an attempt to be used in the Sequel to the underground movie “The Secret”.  The music is directly from my heart.  I went into the studio and wrote and recorded as I went. It’s a fine album but as for my musical prowess, the Guitar god only makes a few appearances.  I kept my monster locked in the cellar for the third album.  I was more dedicated to the message and beautiful chords.  The lyrics are hard to understand unless you’ve read Napoleon Hill, Wallace Wattles, the Bible or other motivational speakers like Matthew Kelly and Stephen R. Covey.

 ….what the hell had I done to myself

Where am I now? All I can ask is what the hell had I done to myself. I wasn’t the guitar shredder I was on American Infidel or during the 2002 tours.  I said to myself as I’m getting up there in the years: “I’ve got to cover my favorite Todd Rundgren song “A Dream Goes on Forever”.   Todd is not an easy musician to cover, believe me when I say that is a gross understatement.  In this video Todd has problems playing his own brilliant creation.  If you only listen to one lyric; Listen to the last line.

 

….I WAS PLAYING FROM THE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BRAIN

I learned how to play that damn song and it made me feel like the guitar Fod. (Fodder). It was like learning to play Mozart’s Belleview concerto. (That’s Belleview as in the mental institution in New York)  I was so proud of myself. Big deal. I can play a song with 17 different chords in it. (Blues songs usually only have 3 chords) I played it in front of an audience and I think I was the only one that could really appreciate it. It was more work than fun.  I was playing it with the right side of my brain. (Not good)  To me music should be subjective.  Even when I covered Viva Las Vegas, you can’t tell what the song is until the chorus.

So what’s the message? Play what makes you feel good.  Club owners who have seen me play say that when I play, it looks as if I’m having an out of body experience.  When you watch my videos, I just throw my head back and let the music come out through my fingers. To quote Bleeding gums Murphy:

BGM

Bleeding Gums Murphy

“Music is like a flame that comes out of your heart and when it does, you better put a guitar in front of it.  But I’ve seen the other side.  I’ve seen beyond the curtains.  On one side of music is your soul. Dr. Covey would call it your inner voice. On the other side is your creative genius. I’ve learned to write lyrics like Todd Rundgren (also known as one of the greatest songwriters ever) and I’ve found that his influence has been reflected in my songs. On my first album I wrote a song called “Coming home” which has 11 chords and I was so proud of this song. Since I’ve been down the rabbit hole; I could never bore an audience with some cheap 3 chord version of “Mustang Sally”. (Or was that 2 chords?) So after incorporating all of my favorite material from Queen to Steve Vai, I’ve become myself.  Some say I sound like Brian Adams, some say Warren Zevon.  I was once told in Florida that Jimi Hendrix was dead. I responded: “Not until I say he is”.

…..PLAY WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.

 In the end, if it’s 2 chords or 17 chords, play what makes you feel good. It’s like being on a roller coaster ride. (If you love roller coasters like I do) Why do you put your hands up in the air on the descent?  Because others doing it appear to be having more fun.  If you’re having fun on stage the audience will sense it and start playing air guitar with you.  But that’s just my experience.  Playing music without emotion is like riding a flat rollercoaster and trust me, your audience with not be throwing their hands in the air.

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TALES FROM THE O.R. Vol .1

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Surgical

TALES FROM THE O.R.

Vol. 1

 

THE END

Let me start with The End. I have a book full of unbelievable stories that are sad, funny, short and downright frightening.  I originally just wanted to write an article on “When you know it’s time to leave a job”.  Then I looked back on all of the real nightmares I experienced and had to share them.

WARNING

Many of these stories are graphic and I will use the exact language that was used at the time.

Who am I? I’m a guy that spent the majority of his life standing across from a surgeon standing by an operating room table.  We use to be called O.R. techs and before that “instrument nurses”.  But when the government stepped in and cut payments to general surgeons, many of us former military O.R. (Operating Room) Technicians became what surgery calls first assistants.

THE LAST OPERATION

I was scheduled to go home but the main desk wanted me to stay and start an “Incision and drainage” of a Bartholin cyst. Most of the public (Even some of you women) probably don’t know a Bartholin cyst from a ganglion cyst.  The Bartholin gland is in a woman’s vagina. Its purpose is to lubricate the vaginal canal for sex.  When the opening gets obstructed, it builds up pressure. (You can see where I’m going with this).  I was assisting a female OB/GYN surgeon with this procedure.  There wasn’t much room between the patients legs, but both of us were able to squeeze in between the stirrups.

I was holding the vagina open and she was doing her best to “probe” the opening. When she found it, the contents found me, I instantly had a mixture of blood, pus, and synovial fluid in my hair cover, my mask, my neck, it dripped down my chest under my shirt and of course my goggles could have used windshield wipers.  They did wipe my goggles off during the case.  I had one hand up this lady’s vagina holding pressure on the bleeding gland with a surgical rag while turning my head to let the nurse wipe the bloody pus out of my face, mask and handball goggles.

I was relieved of my duties shortly after by the late shift and basically went through a short decontamination process in the O.R… I thought I had gotten everything but when I left the room, my manager saw me and everyone around just backed away from me.  I guess this stuff was everywhere.  As ugly as your imagination can imagine; it smelled worse.  That was the last operation I did at that surgery center.  It was unforgettable. Just for further reference; I don’t mind the gross stuff.  I’ve seen stuff I wish I could unsee, but what bothers me the most, is the smell.

My Last case

I was setting up for a laparoscopy. (Taking a scope and looking inside a belly) I was in a hurry and my gay male nurse counter-part didn’t have his Wheaties that day. I remarked on his lack of enthusiasm. (Slowness) and he said to me: “A good Tech would take his time throwing the cables off of the field”.  I had just watched the movie “Roadhouse” with Patrick Swayze and doing my best villain impersonation, I responded: “I used to fuck guys like you in prison”.

The next morning my work computer would not let me log on.

CHRONIC PAIN

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Tyler_Sash

IN MEMORY OF THE LATE TYLER SASH.

(Dead at the age of 27)

Dear Politician,

I am a disabled vet. While I agree many people are easily addicted to pain medications, You CANNOT throw the baby out with the bath water.

Chronic Pain for inoperable conditions are the price middle class Baby Boomers are paying for building America.

TOS XRAY

X-Ray of rare rib invading nerve bundle

What used to take four 200 pound men to lift can now be done with robotics.  But from 1946 to the 21st century it wasn’t always like that.

It wasn’t until the 1990s that “Physiatry” became a respected semi-invasive discipline.

Because heavy lifting was required to build the infrastructure of our great State and Nation, a physiological price was paid. Spinal injury among others became as common as carpal tunnel syndrome.  Manual laborers were not required to wear back braces until the late 1980s.

TOS

Rare extra Rib on R-side of picture

BACK SURGERY
Remedies for back injuries are a crap shoot at best.  It wasn’t until the 1990s that “Physiatry” became a respected semi-invasive discipline. Pain management is an answer but not a good one. Physiatry is the field of “curing successful neurosurgical” operations. Disc fusions and laminectomies often leave the patient in more pain from scar tissue than the original disc pathology.

Physiatry is the field of “curing successful neurosurgical” operations

Patients over dosing
Chronic pain treatment should only be made available after a psychiatric workup has been done on the patient. Pain pills are like bullets and pain treatment is very similar to the 2nd amendment. Patients taking narcotics need to be responsible. Pain pills don’t kill, irresponsible patients abusing them kill. For that matter; there are plenty of over the counter drugs that can kill legally if abused.

Legislation
I’ve been suffering from an injury in 1996.  I responsibly went through pernicious radiological exams and MRIs that left me with few options.  The last thing a true  disabled chronic pain patient needs is more legislation that makes it difficult to attain something they don’t really want to take. After years of narcotic pain treatment (as well as multiple steroid injections)the pain management patient no longer experiences euphoria or a “high” from the medication. It only “Takes the edge off the sharp pain”.

After years of narcotic pain treatment

the pain management patient no longer experiences euphoria

The Answer
The answer is not passing legislation that handcuffs doctors that sincerely provide legitimate treatment. The think tanks must know that Chronic pain is a real problem that was a result of hard working Americans who built this country. (Not to mention soldiers told to follow orders) It needs to be understood that many Chronic pain patients retire in remote states because the cost of living is more affordable. (Than California or New York). Until a non-narcotic pill becomes available, there will be no pragmatic answer. I might add that it’s not the pills that kill as much as it is the pain. I can only imagine that those who overdose, do so because they cannot tolerate the pain. They don’t want to overdose, yet the pain is an ugly game changer.  I’m sure there are those that think pain pills are party favors like other recreational illegal drugs.  To the patient that needs a reliable form of pain relief; narcotics are currently the only proven form of practical relief. Again, it’s not a good option, but it’s the best. Sort of like our government.

Get the economy and GDP up and healthy people won’t have time to abuse drugs. As our economy declined, vices and crime have increased. If I were not disabled, I would be out camping on weekends or working on my car. Sadly, without pain management, the best I can do is lay flat on my back and try not to move.  Even with pain management, I’m restricted to what I can and can’t do.  I used to be able to coach baseball. I taught pitchers how to throw sliders. Today I can’t even play catch with my son.

Please don’t pass any laws that make it harder for patients in pain to get access to the medications that keep them somewhat mobile until science comes out with a pain reliever that is safe.

Albert Schweitzer wrote:

“We must all die. But that I can save him from days of torture, that is what I feel as my great and ever new privilege. Pain is a more terrible lord of mankind than even death itself”.

REINCARNATION

by in Culture, Paranormal, Spiritual Relilgion | 5 Comments

 

Fetus

PRE-CONCEPTION

Jameses

James Jr. WW2 Hero on left KIA ~ James Leininger III on right

 

“I knew you were going to be good parents when I saw you both in that

Hotel in Hawaii.” ~ James Leininger (Age 5?)

 

 

The above line is what young James Leininger said to his father at the age of 5 or 6. James is the most documented case of “Past Lives” and “Reincarnation”.

LilJames

On this Mothers’ day, it makes me wonder if we had a choice to pick our parents, or if it was just James that had a choice. This is part of a discipline called “Theosophy”.  The difference between Theology and Theosophy is that the latter explains the “How” behind the what.

In the documentary, the father of James is initially a skeptic/Bible thumping evangelical that “believeth not”. Most Christians that do not believe reincarnation is real do so because of the parable of Lazarus and Abraham’s bosom.  In short, Lazarus is a poor man who lives a righteous yet poor life and then there’s the man of wealth.  Both die and move to the next realm.  Of course the rich man who is a non-believer is in the lake of fire and can see Lazarus in Abraham’s bosom.  (Let me explain).  The term “In Abraham’s bosom is like that first time you walk through the door of your home after 12 weeks of Basic military training, and Dad is there to welcome you home by greeting you with a big hug.  Ya know those hugs where you wait to see who lets go first? To make Hell worse, the rich man finally sees Abraham and believes and asks to go back just to warn his family members.  Abraham replied, naw, if they wouldn’t believe while you were alive, they still won’t believe.  Hard core Christian believers believe that means, one life per customer.  And from a physical mortal position, that’s true.  But can the rich man come back in a poor man’s body with no recollection of his past life?

Let me give you a couple of verses to consider. In Matthew 16:13, why did Jesus ask his disciples: “Who do they say I am”? Peter’s response in Matthew 16:14 is simple, he said: ““Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.” OK, John the Baptist is just wrong.  He baptized Jesus.  Are we to believe that JTB and Jesus shared the same spirit? I’m not buying it.  But many of the Jews thought Jesus was an old testament Prophet.  My point is, in the first century, reincarnation was an accepted belief.

The next verse is even more convincing as it comes from the mouth of Christ. Flip the page to Matthew 17:10.  I’m going to paraphrase.  After Jesus had confessed He was the Christ; his disciples asked: “Then why do the scribes say Elijah must come first ?” here is the New American Standard Version which is the KJV minus the “Thees” and “Thous”.

Matthew 17:11

 ” And He answered and said, “Elijah is coming and will restore all things; 12 but I say to you that Elijah already came, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they wished. So also the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.” 13 Then the disciples understood that He had spoken to them about John the Baptist.

Christ’s disciples believed that Jesus was saying, the old Prophet Elijah had returned in the body of “John the Baptist”. How else can you interpret that last line?  In keeping with the parable of Lazarus and Abraham, it wasn’t Elijah that came back to life.  It was John the Baptist with Elijah’s spirit.  Just as James III thought he was James Jr.  He wasn’t.  He is James III with James Jr’s soul.  No memory of much after the age of 4 or so.  Do you ever wonder why little children often have “Imaginary friends”?  Pediatricians say that most people cannot recall their childhood prior to the age of 4.  Is this because the younger we are, the closer we are to our last incarnation?

So this makes me wonder. Do we have a say in being reincarnated?  Do we get a pre-incarnate look at what our life is going to be like?  Perhaps we get a look at the circumstances we’re born into.  Perhaps not.  Why would an intelligent spirit choose to be an Ethiopian slave?  The comedian “Father Guido Sarducci” once said that many nuns were gangsters in former lives.  That’s why they enjoy inflicting pain on the kids.  On the other hand, if you’re looking at 70 years in south Chicago or eternity in Hell, one looks much better than the other.  If it means saving lives while risking your own; or Hell, the answer is pretty easy.

I’ve always felt we were born into our situation, (rich or poor) to get the spiritual knowledge that being in that position could give you. I’m not talking about mental knowledge or conscious knowledge, but the feelings that build the character you get from getting kicked around in life. You get to understand what it’s like being poor.  Maybe if you arrive in the after life with a grudge because you tried your hardest but were still poor, you come back as a Rothschild only to see the drawbacks of wealth. (Loss of privacy, feelings of guilt, always having to wear and say the right things).  I learned many years ago that if you can’t be happy when you’re without money; you’ll never be happy with money.  I said that during a knee arthroscopy and the Orthopedic surgeon I was working with who was bringing in 3M a year (was) replied: “You said it”. 

AceE

I’ve always felt that I was a German Lüftwaffe Pilot in my previous life. (And a good one).  I think I killed many.  I also get memories of crashing my Messerschmitt into the side of a mountain.  Is it any wonder that this musician had to spend the majority of his life in Surgery?  Did I need to learn what it was like to put people back together in surgery?  I was trusted to drill tunnels in your knee, or carve out a new tendon for your ACL, then sew you up at the end of the case.

When the government did away with paying general surgeons to assist, former Navy corpsmen like me were in demand.  I saw my salary triple overnight.  But who knows, maybe I’m that same “Ace” that killed so many British, Russian and American pilots before getting shot down, but with a better understanding and respect for human life?

God can do whatever He wants for whatever reason. Maybe not everyone gets reincarnated.  Maybe the previous Ace needed some spiritual fine tuning and was worth saving with a little polishing.

In closing; let me leave you with one last bible verse. It’s the most profound verse in the book of Job.  It comes from an innocent young sympathizer of Job’s named Elihu.

JOB 37:5

“God thunders with His voice wondrously,

Doing great things which we cannot comprehend.”

 

I get it. I don’t know crap about the intricacies or the extent of the God of our Universe.  The God of Infinity.  And even if it were taught to me; I wouldn’t be able to understand it.

 

Jesus said: “Love God and love your neighbor as you would love yourself””. Everything else is just STUFF. (Vanities, useless, fodder etc…) Also, honor your parents.  Even if you were born to an alcoholic drug addict mother.  God wants you to “Love” without a reason.  That’s your sign of being born again.

The POTUS LINE

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RFK 

NEXT IN LINE

 

Many of you don’t realize that “Primary” elections were not as serious until 1968. It’s the 1968 Faux Pas that brought America Richard Nixon. (AKA Trick Dick).  As a young Democrat wannabe (before I had to pay taxes) I was charmed by a politician named Bobby Kennedy.  Bobby was the most likable of the Kennedy brothers. Jack was the Leader, yet covertly flawed, Ted was the black sheep and Bobby was the “good boy”.  He was probably the parents’ favorite.  He was also America’s favorite in 1968 as America had lost a popular president named Kennedy just 5 years earlier.

 

America’s favorite in 1968

ButtonRFK

 

In 1968 it was not Bobby’s turn. Hubert Humphrey was next in line to run as the Jack Ass candidate.  But Bobby ran also.  Just as we saw in Trump and Obama, (I threw up a little in the back of my mouth when I added the latter) They hadn’t paid their dues or to put it more precisely: “Kissed the Ring”.

 

Bobby was young, handsome and charismatic. Even republicans had no problem in 68 conceding the election to another Kennedy.  Sadly, as this 12 year old was half awake and half asleep listening to his radio on a hot California June 6th night, I was awakened by the sound of: “Rafer (Johnson) get the gun”.  Then someone yelled: “He’s been shot”.

 

I thought I was having a bad nightmare. My father who was not well versed in parenting skills came home from work and said: “They shot your candidate”.  He didn’t know how crushed I was, (as was most of America) especially because my mom had died in June of the previous year. My neighbor was John J. McFall (D) congressman from CA.  He got me interested in civics at the age of 12.

 

FAUX PAS off the Starboard bow.

 

The DNC who was not supporting Kennedy, continued to run Humphrey (LBJ’s VP) as the DNC candidate. He lost to Richard Nixon.  Nixon’s only political capital was that he was VP under Eisenhower. But when a Muslim named Sirhan Sirhan shot and killed Bobby Kennedy, he took down the DNC’s presidential hopes as well.  Bobby, like Donald Trump, had a following.  He was another wealthy, handsome Kennedy.  Not only did Sirhan Sirhan get Nixon elected; he ended the era of the back room deal makers choosing the next presidential candidate. (To a degree).  Labor unions controlled the DNC for about 40 years.  A majority of union members were pro-George Wallace. In 1968 many registered voting union members stayed home and gave the election to Richard Nixon, who had failed to beat Pat Brown for Governor of California.

 

THE 1968/2016 VORTEX

DJT

 

Donald Trump took America by storm.  He is easily the most controversial candidate we’ve seen since George Wallace in 1968.  The RNC establishment was dreaming for a Trump “implosion” since June of last year.  Nobody took the Talk show host billionaire seriously. But those who love “The Donald” do so because they’re tired of political correctness and a POTUS that refuses to use the term Islamic Terrorism.  Those opposed to the Donald are either in this country illegally or simply afraid of what Trump might do while running the country like one of his businesses.  He’s shown how ruthless he can be which (to some) is a refreshing new Doctrine compared to the lead from behind mentality of the previous POTUS.  If Bernie Sanders (A registered Ind.) goes 3rd party, millions of millennials and welfare recipients will split the Hillary vote ala George Wallace.  If Ted Cruz & Bernie run as a 3rd & 4th party, prepare for a cage match.

I pray nobody is assassinated.  I also pray that Hillary gets the indictment she so deserves.  It feels like 1968 all over again.  But this time more is at stake.  We need Trump’s financial knowledge to get us out of Obama’s 21 Trillion of debt.  We also need to let the world know that there’s a “NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN”.