Monthly Archives: December 2015

THE TOP 5 CHRISTMAS ACTRESSES

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5

Salley

Meg Ryan

When Harry Met Sally. 1989.  Yeah, I can hear you hurling obscenities at me right now.  Meg Ryan could have made this list for Sleepless in Seattle as well.  Nora Ephron tends to add the Holidays in her movies.  I chose Meg’s performance in “Harry met Sally” because the movie frequents the Holiday.  Harry, played by Billy Crystal (of Jewish persuasion) is always helping Meg Ryan with her Christmas tree in the snow.  They have an annual New Year’s party they both go to during the movie and the movie ends with Sally dragging her own Christmas tree by herself and pretending to be happy at the New Year’s party with some doctor.  And since we’re taking static segments of time, we will consider how Meg Ryan looked in 1989 versus what she has done to herself recently with awful, let me repeat awful plastic surgery.

4

Kristen

Kristin Holby

 

Trading Places 1983. This was a hard decision. (Excuse the pun) Kristin Holby plays Penelope Witherspoon.  The fiancé of Louis Winthorpe III (played by Dan Akroyd).  Kristin has that all American girl beauty but another background actress comes very close to capturing the #4 position.  The deciding factor was her lack of lines.

Lucianne

Lucianne Buchanan

She plays the trophy girlfriend of one of the top investors on Wall street. Her character was named “President’s Mistress”. Her real name is Lucianne Buchanan.

3

Miracle

Maureen O’Hara

 

Miracle on 34th street gets the nod at the #3 position.  She had one advantage over the true beauty from this Christmas classic and that would be her age.  Maureen O’Hara, who co-starred with John Payne, was 15 years older than the future wife of Robert Wagner, The beautiful Natalie Wood.  Wood played the young girl who wanted to believe in Santa Clause.  O’Hara played the single mother in charge of Marketing at Macy’s.

2

NS

Nicolette Scorsese

 

Christmas Vacation 1989. Ms. Scorsese plays the lingerie girl “Mary” at the department store in Chicago.  She also has a semi-topless scene in Clark Griswold’s dream scene towards the end of the movie. Nobody else in this Christmas Classic comes close to the main casting asset of Ms. Scorsese.

 

1

Marjorie

 Marjorie Reynolds

 

Holiday Inn. 1942. (Born Marjorie Moore)This woman was beautiful.  If I could go back in time and meet a woman to fall in love with; It would be Marjorie Reynolds any time of the year.  All I can say is just watch the 1942 classic and you’ll understand how her talent is only, but barely, surpassed by her beauty.  In the long run, be glad that we have Holiday Inn to remember Ms. Reynolds for.  Life was not kind the goddess of the silver screen. Her amazing dancing and singing as well as acting in Holiday Inn did not launch her into the spotlight with Rita Hayworth or Betty Grable.  She continued to be a B actress until she retired.

 

A quote from Ms. Reynolds

It doesn’t overly concern me if I don’t become a superstar.  There are more important things for a successful, happy life and career, such as being pleasant, amiable and a decent human being. ~ Marjorie Reynolds

5 of the Greatest Progressive (Prog) Rock Albums

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Tales

 

In the late sixties, a band called “Iron Butterfly” released an epic song that took up a whole side of a 33.3RPM Vinyl album. It’s the only LP in history that wore through from one side. This Idea of taking progressive jazz and applying it to “Rock” music seemed appealing to many highly educated Rock musicians that had just graduate from Julliard.

 

Some critics of this new genre claimed it was rock musicians trying to give legitimacy to Rock and Roll. By the end of the next decade, a band called the Ramones where calling these bands Dinosaurs. Joey and Dee Dee’s claims were that Prog Rock wasn’t Rock.  But there was a true following for progressive rock bands and they still exist today.

 

So without any further delay; Let jump in:

 

  1. In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida – As mentioned above, it is my assertion that this was the mother of Prog Rock. It was prog in its’ rawest form. But it came with a drum solo “Cool”.

 

  1. Hope – Hope was written and recorded by a cult band in Canada that went by the name of Klaatu. (one of Rock’s coolest names. See the Movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still”). Hope is about a galactic voyage which starts with “We’re off you know” which sound like an incredible Beatles cover. Somewhere in the middle is a movement called “around the Universe in 80 days and it ends with “So said the lighthouse keeper/Hope”. If you ever wanted to hear the Beatles doing heavy metal; Klaatu is worth a look and Hope is their best work.

 

  1. Dark Side of The Moon –Pink Floyd – Possibly or arguably the best on the list but it doesn’t meet the standards of true prog. I would call this Iconic album progressive blues. But I need not say more.

 

  1. Brain Salad Surgery – Emerson, Lake and Palmer. When the Beatles were ruling the British pop invasion of the early 60s they had 2 bands nipping at their heels. The Dave Clark five (Which holds the record for appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show) and of course Rock’s greatest Rock band (No I don’t know who gave them that moniker) The Rolling Stones.  In the early 70s the owners of a lonely heart had ELP nipping at their heels.  Brain Salad Surgery had was a solid legitimate and even commercial prog rock album. Just listen to Karn Evil 9 and you’ll get it.

 

1.Close to the Edge and Tales from Topographical Oceans were both Tied for #1.  The Band YES is the band that you answer with when someone says: “What is Prog Rock”?  Let me stress one exception.  One major caveat.  Yes ceased to be a prog rock band in 1982.  With the band in shambles, Drummer Alan White and Bassist Chris Squire found the greatest guitarist on God’s green earth, Trevor Rabin and formed what would have been an 80s band called Cinema.  Atlantic records along with Trevor Horn brought Jon Anderson and former Yes Keyboardist Tony Kay back into the new manifestation of YES and they released what would have been a Trevor Rabin’s Solo album and with the release of 90125, YES was reincarnated. The caused major consternation between the true prog fans of YES while new teen aged rock fans were cutting their teeth on the new YES and a hit single called “Owner of a lonely heart”.

5 Musical Talents that died too young

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Montreux

5. Elvis Presley- The King Died in August of 1977.  He first hit the charts with Heartbreak Hotel in 1956.  His fame was meteoric for 4 years until he was drafted into the Army and stationed in Germany.  During which time Hollywood was left to fill the vacuum.  After 2 years of serving his country Elvis came home to the pre-Beatlemania years.  Wankers like Fabian and Pat Boon were trying to fill Presley’s shoes. The King of Rock  was being managed by colonel Tom Parker who urged Elvis to sign a lucrative 10 year movie contract with Paramount pictures.  Many ask: “Why did Elvis not tour the world”?  Simple!  Colonel Tom Parker was afraid of flying.  So Elvis, who had a tremendously loyal fan base even when he weighed 300 pounds and was singing mediocre songs in B movies.  He did 27 Movies and 2 televised full length concerts. Elvis had been on a cornucopia of drugs from the time he was on the Ed Sullivan show.  In the military, Elvis reportedly (according to Pricilla Presley) was on stimulants to keep him sharp on duty, and barbiturates to allow him to rest.  Music was making various turns and tangents that led to dead ends while The Beatles were singing Sargent Peppers; Elvis was singing Viva Las Vegas.

Elvis died at the age of 42.

 

4. Buddy (Holley)Holly – The youngest on this list, Buddy along with Ritchie “Valenzuela” Valens and the Big Bopper died in a plane crash in an Iowa farm field after playing the winter dance party at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake Iowa.   Holly was as important as Elvis was to Rock and Roll music.  Holly was the first musician who wrote, produced, and played the music on his records breaking the Hollywood protocol of a separate writer, a producer who told the band what and how to play, and the musicians, who did what they were told.

Holly died at the age of 22.

3. Stevie Ray Vaughan – Stevie Ray or “SRV” was a white blues guitarist that played electric blues in the style of black cultural players.  Although he cut his teeth on another black guitarist, he later became almost obsessed with Albert King.  SRV was responsible for a Blues revival in the late 80s when hair bands and metal bands were playing Enter Sandman, SRV was playing blues standards like “Boot Hill”.  As is common with most great musicians, SRV struggled with cocaine and alcohol until he suffered a gastric ulcer which forced him into rehab.  In August of 1990 SRV’s helicopter crashed into a mountain after playing a show The Alpine Music Theatre in East Troy Wisconsin.

Stevie Ray Vaughn died at the age of 35.

 

2. Jimi Hendrix – The covert conservative guitarist is one of 3 guitarists that changed the standard of Rock and Roll music.  Hendrix played the electric blues with a loud and fast distorted sound. Jimi was amongst the first to experiment with sound effects.  Jimi was also amongst the first group of young musicians that let excess lead to their demise. (Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, etc…) SRV was initially influenced by Jimi Hendrix.  The English blues musicians who were known as guitars gods saw Jimi and realized that they were just flesh and blood mortals.  Like a meteor, like Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix came and went like a rumor leaving one memorable album “Are you Experienced” that would be the bench mark for all new guitar players to aim for.

Jimi was found dead at the age of  27.

 

1.Freddie Mercury –  Perhaps the greatest vocalist of our time.  Born Farrokh Bulsara in Zanzibar in September of 1946, Mercury was the front man of one of Rock Music’s greatest bands ever.  Modern music critics compare Freddie Mercury’s voice with those of the great tenors such as Placido Domingo and Luciano Pavarotti.  Before his death, Freddie found a new niche (a bit too late) in Opera music.  He released an Album with Opera singer Montserrat Caballé called Barcelona in celebration of the Olympics. Sadly, the great vocalist was amongst the first well known celebrities to die of a new disease in the 80s called HIV or the Human immuno-deficiency Virus also called AIDs.  Freddie died a day after a press release stating he was battling the disease.

Freddie Mercury was 45

5 Movies that make Grown Men Cry

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Field1

A lot of really sad movies don’t make this list because in most cases, MEN DON’T CRY.  In a lot of sad movies the guy kind of likes it when Leonardo DiCaprio gets killed off  in “Titanic”.  If a guy can sit through this epic chick flick, he sort of lauds the freezing and drowning of Leonardo DiCaprio. We only wish we could have dunked him a few times before he went down for the last time.

When William Shatner is  playing the role of Captain Kirk and finally died Trekkies cheered.  (Because Shatner was such an awful actor that true Trek Fans endured).

But some movies, very few, reach into the gut of the male and puts the guy into an embarrassing situation where he says to his girl friend: “I got an eyelash in my eye” and she says: “Both of them”?  It sucks but here are my five movies that I would just as soon go to the kitchen and grab a Peanut butter sandwich than let my tears roll off of my cheeks.  Theses aren’t in any real order except for # 1.  I hate/love that movie.

 

5. The Glenn Miller Story.  Ah what a great time to be an American.  Glenn Miller had a dream.  He worked hard and never gave up his Idea for that new sound.  June Allison (Mrs. Apple pie/All-American female) plays the girl of Glenn’s eye.  He marries her and the rest is history until December 15th 1944. (Five months before the end of the war) Glenn is lost over the English Channel.  His wife is at home in the states and she gets to hear her favorite song “Little Brown Jug” (Which Glenn hated) recorded live from Paris.  I think it was such a sad demise for a guy that chased his dream, attained it, then had French bombs dropped on him by mistake. (That’s one of many mysteries).  The look in June Allison’s eyes can’t help but make you feel for Glenn.  We don’t see true love stories like this any more.  (Exception: La Bamba and The Buddy Holly Story)

4. Pride of the Yankees- Lou Gehrig was one of Baseball’s greatest homerun hitters and players of all-time.  He held the record for the longest “starting” streak.  They use to call the Yankee first baseman “The Iron Horse”.  His record 2,130 starts stood for 56 years until it was broken by Cal Ripken.  Gehrig is probably known more for the disease that was named after him ALS or Athero-lateral-sclerosis. Why does this make men cry?  Gehrig was 37 when he died.  He loved the game and didn’t know what was wrong with him.  They didn’t have the scanners we take for granted today back in 1927.  Again, another poor German immigrant that loved the sport, gave it all he had and had the rug pulled out from underneath him. Personally, if I were offered a Lou Gehrig Jersey or a Babe Ruth Jersey, I’d grab the Gehrig memorabilia and run.  I don’t know if it was true in real life but in the movie, Gehrig had the love and support of not only his charming wife, but his immigrant parents who hated the Idea of their son playing Baseball for a living……at first.  I don’t cry when I hear the speech about him being the luckiest man on the face of the earth, I cry when he can’t bend over to field a hard grounder.  He tells him self he needs to run more laps and exercise harder.  (Not knowing he has a terminal disease).

3.  Terms of Endearment The third one on the list is a chick flick.  But it has Jack Nicholson in it and two cute adorable boys.  They have to go through the BS of a cheating dad and a mom who goes through the stages of cancer.  Yeah it’s sad that she declines, but when you see the tears from the youngest kid’s eyes and the older kid acting out you begin to understand how death effects others.  The youngest son should have gotten an academy award for his performance. You (rhetorical you) want to cry along with the son losing his mom.

2. The Rookie – This movie is not as sad as Terms.  I have to turn off Terms of endearment because it hits too close to home for me.  On the other hand; The rookie is a true story that rips the guts out of the man that has to make the choice between being responsible at the cost of sacrificing his dream, or putting his wife and family through uncertainty as he makes 300 dollars a month in the minor leagues.  At the age of 35, after being a High School science teacher Jim Morris gets a 2nd chance at his dream.  All his life he knew he was destined to be a major league baseball pitcher.  After being drafted 4th overall in the 1983 by the Brewers, the first round draft pick would suffer several arm injuries.  He was released after several operations. The Chicago White Sox gave him a minor league contract but he could not rise above “A” ball.  So he found his dreams crushed.  He married had 2 kids and became a science teacher in Big Lake Texas for 10 years.  To relieve the stress of life, he would take a bucket of baseballs out to an old abandoned baseball diamond in the oil fields.  It felt good just to pitch.  Little did he know that one of his Tommy John surgeries made his arm stronger.  Upon discovering this, his High School team he coached made a deal with him that if they won the championship, he had to try out for the Majors.  He thought he would just go, throw and say: “OK I did it”.  Little did he know, his fastball was being clocked at over 100mph and he gets an offer from the Tampa Bay D-Rays.  A few months later he makes it to the Major leagues and is called in to strike out Royce Clayton of the Texas Rangers.  Of course all of his students showed up for the game and at the end he gives his dad the game ball.  The point where I start to tear up is when he’s frustrated and his young black team-mate berates him for talking too long on the pay phone to his “girlfriend”.  Morris (Played by Dennis Quaid) replies: “My son needed help with his home work”.  Every man who isn’t satisfied with their current arrangement wishes they could have a 2nd chance.  Morris at the age of 35 was competing with athletes half his age and made it.

1. Field of Dreams – Another baseball flick, but in this brilliant movie, Baseball is just the medium.  The movie is not about baseball.  It’s about Freud’s comment that we all go through life with an unsettled conflict with one parent.  Unlike The rookie which was a true story, Field of dreams is sort of a science fiction.  It’s about the son of a “has been” baseball player.  The father was a catcher for the Yankees.  He didn’t have much of a career so he tried to live vicariously through his son.  Kevin Costner who plays Ray Kinsella says that playing catch was like taking out the garbage or washing the dishes.  He kept a rebellious attitude toward his dad and Baseball.  Kinsella who marries a girl he met in Berkeley while going to U.C. ends up buying a corn farm in Iowa.  Then one night he hears a voice telling him to build a baseball stadium where his corn crop is. The voice says: “If you build it he will come”. So like three of the other four movies above, it’s the common conflict of dreams vs. Life.  So he plows his corn field and puts up lights and turf and builds a beautiful baseball field at the cost of half his corn crop.  The movie makes you consider what is truly important in your life.

We meet a character named “Moonlight Graham” that played for the Red Sox.  He got called up at the end of a season but never got to bat.  Kinsella thought the field was for him.  They find Graham only to find he went into Medicine and that was the purpose of his life.  At the risk of going bankrupt and losing everything, Ray refuses to sign a deal that would allow him to sell the farm for a tidy profit.  During this time, ghosts from Baseball’s past have been appearing to Ray and his family and have been playing games on the field Ray built.  Shoeless Joe Jackson being amongst the originals.  The ghosts wonder if “This is heaven”?

After deciding to go for broke, the ghost players are walking off of the field in the final scene. They go back to where they exist. (In the uncut cornfield).  Ray looks at the ghost of “Shoeless Joe Jackson” who was the voice telling Ray what to do and he says: “It was you”.  Shoeless Joe responds: “No Ray it was you.  If you build it; He will come”.  (a phrase Ray hears at the beginning of the movie while working in his corn field).  When Shoeless Joe says it, he looks over at the backstop and it’s a young version of Ray Kinsella’s dad.  His dad’s ghost is younger than Ray and he’s wearing an old Yankee uniform.  Ray says to his wife: “Oh my god it’s my dad.  I only remember him after he had been beaten down by life”.  Ray sort of introduces his family to “John Kinsella” and says: “You catch a good game”.  Then more small talk and Ray’s dad says thanks for building the field and starts to walk off.  Ray cries out in a broken voice: “Hey Dad? You wanna have a catch”?  His father says: “Yeah I’d like that”.

PS. I cried while writing half of this article

 

HEAVEN OR HELL?

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Heaven or Hell

(I have no Idea what the ether looks like or I can’t remember)

Many “believers” have a set of rules and a central figure in the church (Pastor, Preacher, Minister etc…) who is responsible for processing these rules so that the common human can understand them.

 

We are lucky that much of what was said in the beginning of most “religions” were written down.  The Christian faith and its’ many off-springs all seem to have their own take on the writings, known as the dead sea scrolls that were found preserved in  caves on the west Bank of the Jordan River, between 1946 and 1956.

 

But in the writings found by the author Matthew, he quotes Jesus as saying that on Judgment day (Let me paraphrase) Many pseudo-believers who did good things in Christ’s name will come to Christ for judgment and will be told: “depart from me you who practice lawlessness for I never knew you”.

 

I ask: “What does it take to get Christ to know me”? (In a positive way).

 

You can’t get to know someone until you communicate with them.  You can’t communicate with someone until you acknowledge them.  This is difficult if you can’t see them, isn’t it?  So we’re called on to use a non-tangible gift we’ve been given called faith.  Faith is the belief in the existence of something that you cannot see, smell, feel, taste or touch. Faith is a tool of the spirit!

 

A good example is gas. (Meaning vapors)  I’ve been in tactical training and was led into a room with a gas mask on.  I couldn’t see the gas. It just seemed hot being in a sealed room in what they call Indian summer. (September).  I was ordered to remove my mask.  That is when I realized that what you can’t see is as real as that which you can see.

 

Jesus said he would always be there for us until the end of time.  When we die, we will take off our masks.  Until then, wear your mask and know that a greater power exist that is inviting conversation. Instead of tear gas, it is your God, your source energy, your maker.

 

Why?

 

Because Christ said: “Depart from me for I never knew you”.  Do you understand the critical importance of the last four words?  Jesus is saying that on Judgment day, he must know you or you’ll get shown the door. (Or the darkness)

 

The apostle Paul once said in a letter to the Philippians (1:21) that “For me; to live is Christ and to die is gain”. Paul knew Christ although he never met him in the physical body.  It’s kind of like you and I.  Paul was blinded by a light and Jesus spoke to Paul (who was going by the name Saul) Paul only had audible proof of this entity we call Jesus.  Paul used to persecute Christians.  So Jesus blinded him and asked him: “Paul why do you persecute me”?  Then He told Paul where to go to get his vision back.  This made a believer out of Paul.

 

I think sometimes it takes a miracle for us to use our faith to confirm the existence of God.  Thomas Jefferson once said: Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, He must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear“.  I might add, when doing this, keep an open mind, but not so open you trip over your brain.

 

If you ask Jesus to show you a sign; you will get one. (But only if you really want one)  But just as you wouldn’t go up to any stranger who claims to be someone important, you wouldn’t approach them and say: “Prove to me that you are Warren Buffet”.   You would ask from a point of humility: “Sir are you Warren Buffet the millionaire”?  If you’re lucky he would show you his driver’s license.  (If he didn’t have his bodyguards throw you in the bushes)

 

The key to establishing a relationship with the Holy Trinity is to put forth an effort to understand the Trinity.  The more interest you show in wanting to know Jesus, the more Jesus will notice you.  In time Jesus will throw you a bone. Keep in mind, when doing this; you should try and do it from the spiritual realm of your existence. (And a humble approach)  This is why professors make lousy believers.

 

This is why Christ said it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.  That statement had nothing to do with money or animals but everything to do with understanding the condition or attitude of your spiritual existence.  When you die, all that will remain of you will be the energy that comprised your spirit and a legacy of some sort.  What matters is your spirit.  It’s your eternal existence.

 

If you are more concerned when the clock runs out about your portfolio in the stock market than you are about your relationship with Christ in the afterlife, that camel will start to get mighty small or the needle eye will get quite large.  You get the idea.

 

There are no millionaires in heaven and there are no homeless in heaven.  If your spirit is welcomed in heaven, you will look back on this pathetic physical life and shake your head.

You’ll know when you know Christ.  When someone asks: “Why are you a Christian”? Your answer will not be because I fear Hell.  It should be quite the opposite.  It should be: “Because Christ has been the only true meaningful and reliable relationship I could count on in my physical life”.   If you have that attitude and believe it, you are on the right track.

 

Dealing with the Death of a Sibling

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Trifecta

My brother served on the bottom 2 ships

I served on the small “Tin Can”

I haven’t written for a while because my brother died unexpectedly exactly a month ago today.  I was estranged from my brother for 6 years as was his son.  My closest sibling wasn’t a very nice guy.  He wasn’t a bad guy or a villain; he just had his demons which kept him from living in a sane state of consciousness.  (Translated- He believed his own lies).  He and his selfishness were responsible for more than a few ruined lives.  When confronted about his ex-wife’s suicide he responded: “I’m sorry for your loss”.  The only thing missing was the form letter. 

 

I’m heading down a road that took me a month to avoid.  I didn’t want to write a hit piece on my brother or anyone who is dead and cannot defend themselves’.  I’ve spent the month trying to remember times when we were brothers.  I can’t seem to find any truly good times.  I’ve known about my brother’s demons since I was 15.  I overheard a blatant lie and it puzzled me.  Not wanting to create confrontation, I let it go, but I knew from that point on that something was wrong with this person. He’s the only person I’ve ever known that was living in their own separate world.  Sadly/joyfully, he brought another human into this world.  In spite of his father’s demons, his son persevered and is making the best of a less than perfect situation. 

 

Before I forget, let me say that my brother enlisted in the U.S. Navy in 1968.  He spent the next 20 years or so climbing his way up the enlisted ladder.  I joined in 1973 out of necessity. At one point in our relationship, his ship (a Cruiser) was tied up next to my ship (a Destroyer). There was a time when I had to cross his ship to get to my ship. I asked the quartermaster on his ship to call my brother to the quarterdeck.  That was a snapshot in time when I felt like I actually had a brother.  We sat in front of the bridge and had a “smoke”.  Actually he smoked while I sat and watched.  I was a doc and tried to set a good example for my fellow crewmen. (I always hated cigarette smoke)  But that was one memorable time.  But while speaking to a fellow Vietnam Vet yesterday; something dawned on me.  My brother served our country for over two decades. How he made it to the top rung of the ladder I’ll never know.  Perhaps life without the military was too much for him to handle.  Perhaps some people need constant discipline to keep them on track.  Once he left the Navy, the wheels came off the track. I can say without reservation that giving your country 20 years of your life is a Noble sacrifice.

 

When I was awakened 30 days ago and informed of my brother’s death; I said: “Oh really”? (There was a different crisis going on and my brother’s death came without warning). Then I went back to sleep.  I hadn’t spoken to my brother in over a decade.  I hadn’t communicated with him via cyberspace for over 6 years.  He had no problem with it nor did I.  You see I knew his secrets.  One thing people enjoy is avoiding those who know their secrets.  So I felt the grieving process would be minimal.  I tried to make it a formality but if you’ve lived with someone for 15 years and for a majority of that time you “Looked up to them”, you’re going to have some feelings that bond you to them.

 

I think over the course of the month, I went through the various stages of grief but in abstract ways.  In many ways, losing someone you really didn’t care a lot for is harder than losing someone you truly felt was a loved one. You can grieve, go through the pain and move on.  When someone dies that you felt was just using up oxygen on this planet, you’re haunted by Albert Einstein’s comment that: “Within each of us lies a genius”.

 

My life was changed by both the writings of Dr. Stephan R. Covey and meeting the man. After reading his first book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, I had to run out and buy everything I could from the man.  If you ask me what my most memorable moment was with Dr. Covey I would say it was meeting him and thanking him for changing my life.  It was a meet and greet and I was in a long line so I quickly shook his hand and blurted out: “Thank you for changing my life”.  He had let go of my hand then said: “No! Wait”, he got up, took my hand and said: “No son, Thank you”. 

 

Dr. Covey died in 2012.  For me the Mayan Calendar did stand still when I got the news.  I cried secretly to myself.  My eyes are watering up as I write this.  I knew my brother almost 60 years and went back to sleep.  When I heard of Dr. Covey’s death, I did something out of character; I had a drink.  I had quit drinking and the alcohol didn’t help.  Dr. Covey was still dead and still is. That was the last taste of alcohol I had back in July of 2012.

 

If you lose someone you were close to, allow yourself to feel the loss.  You may not cry a river, but if your eyes want to moisten somewhat, allow them to.  Should your behavior become erratic, understand that you have a “sub-conscious mind”.  It gets to take control every now and then.  Life is complicated.  We will never know all of the answers.

 

I do know that obstacles are the things we see when we take our eyes off the destination.  Don’t let grief become your focus.  Just recognize it and keep heading towards your destination in life.  Do not let yourself get hung up on whether or not you’ve suffered enough to move on.  We feel guilt for not suffering. Don’t!  When I contacted my nephew (my Brother’s son) who is now in his 30s, we both said we felt bad that we didn’t feel worse. The truth is, you will grieve as much as you are supposed to grieve. Keep your destination in mind and keep the rudders pointed in that direction.