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Paranormal

At the turn of the century, the most popular websites on the internet were pornographic websites followed by UFO websites. One of the highest rated TV shows was Bill Byrnes’ UFO Hunters. (One of the first of many “Hunter” reality shows)

At the same time UFO Hunters was undergoing scrutiny from the black ops division of the Bush Administration, Paranormal state was a fledgling show that introduced America to the world of ghost hunting. As UFOs disappeared on the small screen; shows about Hauntings flourished.  The show had a plot of 2 roto-rooter employees that investigated hauntings in their spare time. Soon viewers became familiar with terms like “Intelligent Hauntings” vs. “Residual Hauntings”. The show jumped the Shark when the co-host Grant Wilson left the show.

In the ratings, Paranormal State and Ghost Hunters were having their lunch digested by three Ghost Hunters from Las Vegas. Zak Bagans, Nick Groff and Aaron Goodwin started out as a low budget investigation group that got a huge bump when they took a Camera crew from Reno NV on a documentary with them to Goldfield and Virginia City.

The threesome created a show called “Ghost Adventures”. In the beginning it was quaint and much of the entertainment came from the characters of the three hosts as they were not afraid of ghosts, yet the executive producer is frightened of clowns and snakes.

Nobody has done a convincing job of “debunking” the video that was shot by the Reno News crew as they recorded video of rocks being thrown at the hunters as well as what appears to be a “Full Bodied Apparition” aka “A GHOST”. The documentary can be seen on line. The show blossomed as they began to introduce new gadgets to contact with those in the afterlife. In one touching episode, the inventor of the “MELmeter” connects with his recently deceased teenage daughter “MELlissa” who communicates from the “other side”. Melissa died in a car accident and the crew attends an afterlife birthday party.

Now everybody seems to own a digital Olympus voice recorder. I’m sure sales of FLIR cameras have gone up as well (Forward looking Infra-Red).

As ratings grew with the interest in ghosts; this opened the door for Psychics and stories about hauntings.

I asked myself while watching an episode of Paranormal witness: “Why do we find scary shows so interesting”? The answer is as old as Bela Lugosi’s Movies. Besides the fact that physical death is something we all have in common and perhaps want to know more about what happens after the last heartbeat; I think the emotion of fear leads us to expect a childhood relief we felt when our mom came to our rescue to remind us that it is just a movie. I think people drink alcohol because when we cried, we found comfort in the bottle. But fear brings back the emotion that someone was there to protect you.

That’s it.
It’s an infantile back flash. It’s the same reason women who grow up getting beat by their father will eventually marry a man who will physically abuse her. Sad but true. A lot of your actions can be traced back to your childhood.

Big Tits and other Lies

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I’ve never been infatuated with women sporting large breasts. A simple B cup is fine for my taste. But ladies; don’t tell your plastic Surgeon that. To a successful cosmetic surgeon, a woman ain’t a woman unless her implants enter the room before she does. How did this lie get started?

It’s a hypothesis that I’ve been pondering since my early 20s. I think I’ve figured it out. Part of it has to do with Freud. It’s a childhood paradigm. A majority of men are breast fed the first 6 months of their life. As women became the majority in the work place, the paradigm shifted. A male that would have been “breast” fed, is now bottle fed. (Do you think there’s a connection between bottle fed babies and alcoholics)? It’s just a thought!

Coming from a “Stanford” Medical background; I can say this with certainty: “Breast size is largely determined by FAT CELLS”. It’s a rare genetic anomaly when you find a thin female with large breasts. You’re most likely to find such a specimen in a general surgeon’s office waiting for her consult for a breast reduction mammoplasty. A small/thin woman with double D’s will suffer from lumbar muscle pain. In layman’s terms, she’s top heavy.

I cringe when I see my favorite Hollywood starlets like Meg Ryan go from the beautiful girl next door, to the scarred bee stung lips with breast that look like the headlights on a 48 Tucker Sedan.

Meg  Meg BA

As I mentioned earlier, breasts are mainly fat cells. Physiologically, they were designed to accommodate mammary glands to feed little Billy. If you were the High school quarterback you probably dated the cheerleader with the big breasts. When you came back from the Army, more than likely, the rest of you cheerleader’s fat cells started manifesting in the forms of love handles, saddlebags and in the 21st century, a beer gut.

I use to date girls on the swim team. Girls with “Tom Boy” bodies Sure they’re going to have a AA bra size (That’s the smallest for my male readers) but they never had to worry about being on a constant diet. Check out the 48 year old Dara Torres.

 DT Olympics   Dara-Torres-490x735_1

 And the ultimate question that mankind has been asking since 1967: “Mary Anne” or “Ginger”? You decide.

 Dawn Wells 74 Tina Louise

(Left Dawn Wells as “Mary Anne” on Gilligan’s Island. Right is Tina Louis or “Ginger”)

dawn-wells Tina-Louise

                                   Mary Ann at the age of 74        Ginger at the age of 81 (7 years older)

 There’s an old Blues song written by the late Johnny Winter called “Check out da momma”. (Cuz if her momma ain’t fine you betta take yo time; she gonna look just like her momma on down da line).  You can keep the Double Dees.  I’ll take the fit looking double AA’s anytimeGuys, get over your infantile breast feeding programming.  Large breasts are large fat cells and they usually don’t limit their local to the upper torso.  Ladies, be what you are. There’s a guy out their who will appreciate your small breasts.