FAT ASS FRIDAY Vol.1

Bacon Baconburger ???????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

YOU & YOUR FAT ASS

Vol. 1 FATS

 

A Majority of Americans today are a good 10 to 60 pounds overweight.  What do I blame it on? No it’s not your love of Ice Cream Sandwiches or Bon Bons; It’s the thing you’re starring at, but more so the thing your Fat Ass is sitting on.

When we were blessed with the era of information, we were also shifted into the era of sedentary labor.  Now what use to take 4 guys with Schwarzenegger arms, now can be done by a 110 pound female with the help of a robotic arm.  Yep, that back seat to your new car can glide into place with just a little guidance from one human arm.

Instead of having to climb into an air duct to check humidity and vacuum, all you have to do is pull down a computer menu attached to probes in the duct and you can do it all from your cushy chair.

The new industrial injury has shifted from the low back or lumbar disc damage to “Carpal Tunnel Syndrome”, “Obesity”, “Hypertension” and a “plethora of anal conditions”. Seriously, I’ve written several articles on taking really good care of your ass if you sit on it all day.

YOU DON’T WANT RECTAL SURGERY.  Hemorrhoids OUCH, Anal Fistulas DOUBLE OUCH.  And it’s not the condition, it’s the ugly surgery and recovery.  This is why you need to pull up a bar stool, (Or stand) at the Café Americain on Fridays.  I’m going to help you get rid of that FAT ASS.

Before I start the HOW TO part; I need to reprogram your brain.  I’m not going to talk about diets or weight loss programs.  KNOWLEDGE is POWER. So for Volume 1 just want to focus on FAT.

FATS: Taste really good.  You’ll find it in Ice Cream, Red Meat, even my favorite sustenance Peanuts. Now don’t freak out on me, but there’s good fats and bad fats.

First: Bad Fats.  These are “Poly-saturated” fats. It means that the molecule that make up the fat are small and sticky.  What happens when you run fine sticky sand through Tubing with fine holes in it?  The holes clog and fat builds up.

Now the Good Fats.  Yes it is an Oxymoron.  You should avoid fats if possible but most of the culinary arts do not.  So if you’re going to buy oil to cook with.  Buy extra Virgin Olive oil.  It’s what is called Mono-saturated.  What happens if you put large rocks through that same tubing that has been clogged with the fine sand?  It tends to push it out of the tubing.

So it’s important that you look at the labels and see what kind of fat you’re eating.  Peanuts are rich in fat, but it’s mainly mono-saturated fat.

I’ll try to keep this simple because I know most of you have not studied biophysics, but when you hear your doctor talk about good cholesterol and bad cholesterol; he or she is talking about good and bad fats.  Only the scientific term is called “Lipids”.  (As in Lip-o-suction) with this in mind; now you can understand HDL cholesterol and LDL cholesterol.  AKA “high density lipids” and “low density lipids”.  Low density lipids or fat is like spackle.  It sticks to your tubes, only in this case we’ll call them arteries and veins.  High density lipids are like toilet bowl brushes.  They lower the amount of LDL building up in your arteries.  Pills like Lipitor are the equivalent of Draino.  After 10 years of use, we’ve found that Drano can rot your delicate tubes. (Lipitor or “statins” can damage your muscles, the companies don not deny this). BTW, your heart is a big muscle.  So the principle you want to remember is:

 

DON’T EAT POLY-SATURATED FATS.   

Pardon the pun but, “chew on this info for a while”.  We’ll talk about Carbs and Proteins soon.  But I do not want to over load your mind.  Lastly I want to talk about what fats are good for.

First: They usually taste really good. Second: If you survive a plane crash and you’re in the wilderness looking for food, your fat acts as a reserve form of sustanence.  I’m not saying it makes you superman/woman but it’s been shown that fat people are usually the last to starve to death.  On the other hand, healthy people are in a better position to find and catch or gather food.

AN INTERVIEW WITH JESUS

 

JesusBaptism

AN INTERVIEW WITH JESUS

 

I was daydreaming of what it would be like if I got to sit across from Jesus, the Christ on Superbowl Sunday and interview Him.  The following were my thoughts.

 

Ace: Jesus, thank you for letting me talk to you.

Jesus: Anytime, anywhere.  I’m always there.

Ace: Let me get this right; You’re 1/3 of the Holy Trinity, correct?

Jesus: That’s what you say.

Ace: All I know is what I’ve read from the Holy Bible.

Jesus: Yes I’ve heard of this collection of writings.

Ace: Did you ask that such a book be written about You, the Holy Spirit and your Father?

Jesus: Does it say I did?

Ace: Not that I can recall.

Jesus: I told my followers to go into all the world teaching and baptizing in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Ace: Will we go to Hell if we don’t?

Jesus: Do you think you should?

Ace: You died and were without a heartbeat for 3 days, then you came back to life and reports say that hundreds saw you after you were killed on the cross.

Jesus: Hey, better Me than you. Right?  It was the plan from the beginning.

Ace: You told Peter that you could call on more than 12 legions of Angels and wipe out the Roman Army.  Why didn’t you?

Jesus: I came to bring peace and not war.  The Father wants those who love him on faith, not fear.  He wants you to be your best, not a blob of molecules with an electrical charge.

Ace: Why can’t we see the Father?

Jesus: He’s there. Can you see the wind?  You know it’s there.  You can see the results of it, but you can’t see it, can you?

Ace: Are all humans created equal?

Jesus: Where did you read that? You are all the Father’s children whom he love’s very much.

Ace: Our forefathers wrote that in a document we call the “Declaration of Independence”.

Jesus: Did they die for your sins?

Ace: Not that I can recall.

Jesus: All men were created with free will.

Ace: Why is there Evil in the world?

Jesus: Ask Adam.

Ace: Why did you even let Adam near the tree with the fruit of knowledge?

Jesus: We want human spirits to be able to use their free will. We didn’t want Stepford humans.

Ace: You’ve seen that movie, The Stepford Wives?

Jesus: I see everything.

Ace: What were your thoughts?

Jesus: Meh…

Ace: Satan is so much more powerful than humans, how is the common man to face such a cleaver and evil opponent?

Jesus: You have Me, the Father and the Holy Spirit.  That’s 3 against 1. You’re not alone.

Ace: Why do bad things happen to good people?

Jesus: It’s the price of free will.

Ace: Can I get to heaven if I don’t repent of my sinful ways, confess God is the one true God, ask for forgiveness and be baptized?

Jesus: The Father loves Our creation and can let whomever He wants into Paradise.  But if you prefer to make up your own rules just remember, that’s your decision.

Ace: So why do so many “religions” teach that salvation requires this, this, and that to get into heaven?

Jesus: Ace, I didn’t come here to start religions.  I came to offer humans a way.  I died in the flesh so that you don’t have to die in the afterlilfe.  I didn’t write a book called “Salvation for Dummies”.  I didn’t write any books at all.  The only thing I wrote was in the dirt.  You have all you need to get to heaven.  I promised it to the 12 and those who heard it from the 12.  Any more questions?

Ace: Just one.  Is Bill O’Reilly a saint or a pinhead?

Jesus: Both.  He’s a pinhead because he only allows his guests so much “free will” when it comes to answering his questions. Yet we all love him anyway.

Ace: What makes him a saint?

Jesus: He puts up with Geraldo.

YOUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE

timeclock

The human lifespan is relatively short when you think about it.  I strongly believe that you chose the life you’re living. (You are what you is) When I look back at my time in the military (Several decades ago) I can say I left with an honorable discharge and the enlisted rating of a non-commissioned officer. Not bad for a kid that enlisted at the age of 17 and didn’t know what he was doing.  But I really wish I would have had some guidance.  Since I am what I is; I guess climbing the ladder of Success in the military wouldn’t guide me towards what I knew was my first love.  Music!  But the military gave me many hours of free time to practice scales and work on soloing techniques.

Yet had I been mentoring myself back then, I would have said to myself, why don’t you take the test for the next level?  I guess because all I wanted to do was create music and not become a higher paid member of the Armed forces.  I didn’t realize I could have done both.  I think subconsciously I thought by climbing that ladder, I would turn my back on my first love.

So I believe that before you sailed down the vaginal canal and had your umbilical cord ligated and severed; you said to the powers that be: “Sure I’ll take a shot at being born under these circumstances”.  Sounds like a bunch of crap doesn’t it?  Why on earth would anyone say: “Sure, I want to be born a Jew in Berlin around 1925”?  Perhaps we have limited choices. “Who knows”? Again, like I said yesterday, you are what you is.  There were many Jews that said in 1933: “See Ya.  I’m heading for America”.  I said that had I been born in the Sahara Desert, I would have moved to a new location where there was food.

It’s easy to say that now. (At my age)  Where was that vision when I was a lower paid non-commissioned officer?  It’s water somewhere miles from the bridge.  I wrote once that we are all living in the past. (Literally, once your brain interprets stimulus, the event has already come and gone) So we need to anticipate or “be in sync” with the future. Instead of using Stephen Covey’s formula of “Stimulus, space, response”.  We need to constantly put another space in front of the Stimulus part so that the space that does exist between Stimulus and response is smaller and we do not need to create our response based on an insufficient paradigm.  This “space” is what Stephen Covey called being “Pro-active”.  He made it the first principle of highly effective people.  Dr. Covey said: “#1, begin with the end in mind”.  Or as the “Tubes” called it, “The completion backwards Principle”

.Text

I’ll give you an example.  You’re walking through the parking lot late at night.  Do you read your text messages on your phone (laughing at a stupid video) or do you keep your keys in one hand and perhaps a foldable combat knife in your other hand while being aware of your potentially dangerous environment?

texting

I’ll make it even easier.  When you go to bed do you just turn off the Television and say goodnight or do you do a walk through to make sure doors and windows are secured?

I’m not saying live in fear, I’m saying live in preparation.  Let’s go the other way.  I’ll use my own situation as the example.  If David Bowie called me and said: “Ace, I want you to fly to my studio in New York to audition for my touring band”.  Do I say sure and get all excited and tell all my friends that I’m going to tour with David Bowie or do I make a check list of all of things like new strings, transporting my gear, my appearance, learning every single David Bowie song I have access to (up to and including Queen’s under pressure) and getting the material I don’t have access to?

Stage back

I can see myself shaking David’s hand and saying: “Where’s our first stop on the tour”?

Here is another key to being a successful human.

Did you ever see Johnny Carson do his act “The Amazing Carnac”?  Johnny would get questions from the audience (supposedly) and he would know the answer before he opened the envelope.

There are people in life that are so willing to finish your sentence for you because they want to impress you with their knowledge.  It’s RUDE and ANNOYING!  NEVER finish someone else’s sentence unless they say something like, I can’t remember their name, or help me out here.  When you know you are going to meet someone important, someone you might want to work with; study everything you can find about them. THEN, in conversation, act natural.  Nobody likes name droppers and certainly nobody cares to have their thunder stolen. Here’s another secret: “Nobody wants someone they know they can have”.  So don’t show any form of worship.  (That comes from the Ten Commandments. #1.  It’s more than just a commandment.  It’s great advice)

You can make your human experience so much more dynamic and enjoyable by using spiritual principles.  These principles are not rules or regulations.  They’re like the wind.  You can’t see them, but if you set your sails accordingly, you can use them to navigate (sometimes quickly).  And like all principles, it doesn’t matter if you believe in them or not.  They exist regardless.  Try not believing in Gravity.  Dr. Stephen Covey wrote that he believed that God was responsible for these principles.  It’s not a religion, they’re in all religions.

I would encourage that young 17 year old version of myself to read and try to understand the spiritual advice that is available to him with an open mind.  In fact I did and it gave me the perimeters of right and wrong.  It kept me out of jail.  But nobody ever gave me guidance on setting achievable goals.  But then perhaps life is not about “greatness” but simply “being the best version of yourself”.

“YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS”

Zappa

Key Lines written by Frank Zappa 1981

Do you know what you are?

You are what you is

You is what you am

A cow don’t make ham

 

 A foolish young man

From a middle class fam’ly

Started singin’ the blues

‘Cause he thought it was manly

 

A foolish young man

Of the Negro Persuasion

Devoted his life

To become a Caucasian

 

He stopped eating pork

He stopped eating greens

He traded his dashiki

For some Jordache Jeans

He learned to play golf

An’ he got a good score

Now he say to himself

“I AIN’T NO NIGGER NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!”

It’s funny how this was written 35 years before anyone ever heard of Barack Hussein Obama.  It was also written about the time that Stevie Ray Vaughan started the “Blues Revival”.  It was the B side of Valley Girl.

MTV refused to play the YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS video.

Although Frank Zappa was known for his satire in his song writing, behind the satire was a message of how messed up we can be as humans.  I think this song could have been re-titled: “Get over yourself”.

I’ve always said that if I was born in the fucking African Desert, I would have taken the late Sam Kennison’s advice and “MOVED TO WHERE THE FOOD IS”.  The human mind is so vulnerable.  Satan comes along and says: “You ugly”. So you become introverted and shy. Then Satan says, “You’ll never go anywhere or do anything with your worthless life”.  So you become even more vulnerable and join a cult.  You build your façade on a cult of personality.  You fake it until you make it.  But sometimes,

Just sometimes………………. You buy a paperback written by a self-help writer.  If you’re lucky, you submerge yourself into personal development and you don’t care what others say.  That really smart guy named Albert Einstein once wrote: “Within each of us lays a genius.  If you judge a fish on his ability to climb a tree, he’ll go through life thinking he’s stupid.

Ya see ~ that’s the key to being a human.  Get your head right; then devote every action you do towards that person you want to be.  Stephen Covey, one of the greatest self-help writers of our time once said that he was inspired to write self-help when he read line that said: “Between stimulus and response there lays a space.  In that space lays your chance to determine your response”.   He realized that the future of his life was often a direct result of the response he chose in that space.  Sometimes the response would be to give a person a hug and comfort them.  Sometimes it was a short space where you needed to decide to kill or be killed, or fight or flight.  No matter what the stimulus is, your result should be in alignment with who or what you want to be as a human.

If you need help; complete this sentence: “I am going to be a _______ because of my unique ability to ________”!   Feel free to use as many words as you need such as” I’m going to be a Chef because of my unique ability to use spices in a creative way that makes people happy!

Or, I’m going to be a Police officer because of my unique ability and desire to protect those who cannot protect themselves”!

Once you’ve decided what you want to be, (and are satisfied with the “because” part of the sentence) everything you do should bring you closer to your destination.  And even once you become what you want to be, put the word “Better” in front of the first blank.

You see, your voyage here on earth is always about becoming.  It’s never about arriving.

I want to be “the best guitarist/singer/writer I can be because of my unique ability to play the guitar with incredible skill and write songs that touch people so they will remember me”! 

AMERICA’S TERMITE PROBLEM

WE REAP WHAT WE SOW

Termites

 

Yesterday, 22 January 2015, I wrote about the paradigm shift from the “Greatest Generation” the generation that fought WWII; up through today’s.  The children of the 60s, many of whom grew up as part of the “Counter-Culture” are in positions of major importance today.  Example: Barack Hussein Obama.  His parents and mentor were communists and Muslims.

(Hey I didn’t make up his name) Furthermore, at one point he changed his name to Barry Soetoro.  So why did he change it back to a name of Muslim Origin?  Was it to be cool with the other black kids?  That is the one adjective that the counter culture clings to as their claim to achievement; they’re cool.

Unfortunately, the cool kids were easy to beat up in school.  The cool kids usually cut class and went golfing, err, I mean smoked dope, err, I mean hung out. Yeah that’s it.  As does Barack Hussein Obama.  How did he do in the world of Academia?  Who knows?  He’s had his school records sealed and will not allow them to be made public.  After six years, you can tell when the cool kid hasn’t studied for his S.A.T. exam.  Ours is failing badly (figuratively speaking as president). But he still governs on coolness.  He’s appeared on more television shows than he has in front of congress.  When he does appear on TV shows, he treated like a cool teddy bear.  While the whole time he’s on “The View” Russia is invading the Ukraine and Iran is polishing their new ICBM missiles.  When he’s golfing; ISIS is beheading Americans and he’s smiling for photo ops.

 That’s the Macro view.

 Let’s look at how the “cool parents” have raised their offspring.  I’ll give you one name: Michael Brown.  Do you want another? Trayvon Martin!  It’s no wonder teens are ending up dead.  They’ve developed a “You can’t touch me” attitude from their big role model the Manchurian President himself.

It was Bush that made me ruin the country.

It was the Republicans that wouldn’t let me get things done.

Hey Barry, you had Harry Reid doing your dirty work in the Senate for 6 years) Did you know that over 300 house bills are sitting in the congress that Harry Reid would not allow to come to vote?  Now like the spoiled little failure that he is (I won 2 elections) all he can say is: “I’ll veto whatever I do not like”.  But he’s gone so narcissistic that even Democrats are yelling at him.

 

 

After a year in office, I believe it was Charles Krauthammer who said: “He’s obviously in over his head”.   By the way, the president won two elections.  Republicans have won about 300 since he’s been in office.

 

The old Democrat in me (whom I fed to the lions in 1980) really hates what this inner circle of liberals have done to the DNC.  John F. Kennedy would have been called a Hater by Whoopi Goldberg if he were alive and running in 2016.  (That’s if you can remember that whole thing with Cuba and Russian missiles aimed at the U.S. or US.

 

Just as Hitler had his inner circle; so does Obama.  Instead of Himmler, Göring, and Göebles; we have Jaret, Pelosi and Reid.  Hitler’s henchmen were evil, perhaps more evil than Hitler.  Obama’s lackeys are stooges. Only more dangerous than Larry, Moe and Curly.

 

I use to hear a term in the 70s when Carter established the federal department of education in October of 1979. Go back even further to the 60s when LBJ proclaimed his “War on poverty”.

 The term?  “The Dumbing Down of America”. 

It started with the crap that was being shown on television.  Although tame by today’s standards, shows like Three’s company were the beginning of the end of mores in America.

MORES (pronounced Mor-ays)

Plural noun, Sociology 

             1. Folkways of central importance accepted without question and embodying the fundamental moral views of a group.

 

 

It seemed harmless at the time, but soon we would have “The Housewives of” (fill in the city).

Enter a wretched form of entertainment called Rap.  A pontificating uneducated asshole’s dream that defines women as nothing more than sex objects, and glorifies gang violence.  It used to be (in the ghetto) that if you wanted to be something, you had to be tall and shoot hoops. (Or join a gang) Now, it’s be a rapper and join a gang.  Again yet another form of the dumbing down of America.

But it doesn’t take much to see that Manchurian Politics has forced the private market to hire people that should not be working.  To quote “Green Jobs Czar & self-proclaimed Communist” Van Jones “Yall gonna have to give Pookie a job”.

Well Pookie got a job and now Pookie steals my mail.  An institution that use to pride its’ self on delivering the mail (or Post for you across the pond) is now stealing the mail.  Pookie steals my credit card number at the department store.  Pookie steals my Social Security number at the Bank.  Pookie steals with impunity.

What inspired me to write this vapid article on attrition?  I’ve noticed in the last 5 (maybe 10)years that I’ve had to show extra patience at check-out stands while Juanita is doing the “English to Spanish translation” in her head, then hoping that she hits the right keys on her register or waiting for Shenequa who is waiting for the cash register to tell her how much change I get when the price is $4.99 and I hand her a $5.00 bill.

Recently I ordered a custom made calendar for 2015. It came with the title saying 2015 on the front (as I designed it that way) yet it came printed on last year’s 2014 calendar.  So I call and get Pookie on the phone. Pookie says “Dat cool, I take care of it”.  I got another 2014 calendar 11 days later.  Finally I called back and got someone named John that spoke professionally who said: “I’m sorry sir, I’ll take care of that for you.  It came correctly two days later.

Along with patience, you now have to “double” or even “triple check” everything that you do.  When I call and make an appointment, a week in advance I call to make sure it’s still on the books.  When I order something, I always check to see if it has been shipped.  When I take down information over the phone I always say: “OK, let me read this back to you to make sure we’re both in the same queue on this”.  When someone says: “That will get shipped out tomorrow” and I need it quickly, I’ll call and ask if it got shipped out.

The most important word in the daily performance of life is “CONFIRMATION”.

What I’m saying is the age of a dumbed down America is here.  I fear that soon it will be gone.  Not the age of stupidity but America.  Do you know what they call a country that has uneducated proletariats working in the masses?

 Communism.

OBAMUNISM

The American Experiment was founded on sacrifice, hard work, dedication and honesty (only back then they called it Godliness).  We inherited a fine country.  It was a fine working, well-tuned machine.  And to this day, the only one of its’ kind. 1 in a series of 1.  Then we gave the keys to the Ferrari to a bunch of drunk Teenagers.  Those who were allowed jobs without the ability to read found their place of employment a fine place to steal.  Sloth and crime has replaced the work ethic.  If you don’t work for something you can’t enjoy it. Political correctness has allowed termites to enter the woodwork of societies all over the world.

 

You know what the two alternatives are.

THESE KIDS TODAY

dc1

1968

 

This thing called Rock and Roll had become mainstream.  Not elevator music mainstream, or Challenge Butter commercial mainstream, but every kid was letting his hair grow and learning to play guitar.  Instead of a red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas; It was a Silver Tone guitar from the Sears Catalog.  These kids dressed in flamboyant paisley clothing, and some college drop outs took to communism.  The outcasts that had no guidance or the grades to go to college went to a hot place called Vietnam.  But 1968 was a year before Woodstock and a year after the Summer of Love.  Many young kids who were born in 1950 were confused.  Should I be a hero like my dad was in Korea or the Beaches of Normandy, or should I sing “Give Peace a Chance” and shout at the White House: “Hell no we won’t go”

 

1975

Frampton

This thing called Rock and Roll was still not main stream but it was becoming as profitable as the Military Industrial Complex.  In the summer of 1975, a handsome Brit nobody had ever heard of (He was the other guy in the rock band Humble Pie whom most Americans only heard of after this young man toured America). When Peter Frampton started touring America on the coat tails of David Cassidy, his “Frampton Comes Alive” album became the biggest selling LIVE album of all time.  It changed this thing called Rock and Roll forever.  This thing called Rock and Roll became a Multimillion dollar Industry.  In 1975 another young Brit guitarist name Brian May was a year away from getting his degree in Astrophysics.  He dropped out and spent the next 12 years touring with one of history’s most successful Rock Bands ever ~ Queen! “These kids today”.

 1981

Mtvmoon

August 1st, A new TV Channel changed this thing called Rock and Roll forever.  MTV did indeed kill the Radio Star.  So ugly musicians were no longer players as music had become a beauty contest with a soundtrack.  In 1981 we saw the beginning of the neo-con movement.  The leftist mainstream media was coming out with TV shows that put down the Yuppie.  The Hippie form the 60’s was either a failure or a faculty member at UC Berkeley.

Now the Country was seeing the rise of the Yuppie.  This was a reverse paradigm from the 60s.  Just as Bob Dylan’s folk music was being replaced by songs like Bohemian Rhapsody, young high school kids about to graduate were watching sitcoms like Family Ties which had a young High School kid (played by Michael J. Fox) who was supposed to be liberal Hollywood’s conservative antagonist.  But times were changing and making big money was becoming to the 19 – 25 demographics.  Shows like Miami vice showed young guys driving Lamborghinis in cool white linen blazers.  So in the 80s, there was this polarization of the kids of the 80s.  Soon the 80s became known as the decade of greed. (by Hollywood) Yet Family Ties’ ratings soared.  It made a mega-star out of Michael J. Fox who went on to do Spielberg’s “Back to the future” Trilogy.  Hair was getting shorter and bands like “Huey Lewis and the News” were sporting business cuts.

One real game changer that kids of the 80s had to deal with was the true birth of technology. (And cool Sneakers)

1994

PC

These kids had come to a true bifurcation in the road.  It was the biggest polarizing era for “These kids today”.  Not only did you have to learn English and math, but you now had to learn something called HTML  Yes the computer ushered in the new age.  I’m not talking about meditation and gurus or as they’re called now: “Personal coaches”.  But this thing called the Internet.  The internet has been one of, if not the biggest “game changer” in this country.  The internet and the computer divided America into two groups.  Those who were computer literate and those who couldn’t tell how to boot up a system.  But when the internet got large enough so that kids could play games with other kids in other states or even countries, it was an incentive for kids to take the time to learn how to configure systems and move to the next level in evolution.  On the other hand, those who were not incentivized by the new one eyed monster had something new to steal.  If you didn’t have computer skills let alone a computer; you were an outcast.  This was OK for grandma and maybe Rock Stars that were never sober enough to understand code.  But the Internet would change life as the world knew it.  The first casualty of the internet era were record stores. The biggest casualty of the internet was the post office as advanced countries shifted over to Email.  Newspapers and TV reporting has been replaced the “blogosphere”.  Hardly any home has the old fashion “Land line”.  And the mall is now just a risky place to hang out as you can buy all the cool stuff on the “net”.  I ask you: “what will become of our society if we have a coronal mass ejection the likes of a Carrington Event or some 3rd world fanatical country is able to explode a nuke in our atmosphere causing an electro magnetic pulse”?

 2007

Texting

These kids of today and their gadgets.  On June 29th 2007 Apple released the first IPhone.  Also known as the smart phone, this was a “Pocket computer” as well as a telephone.  The wireless home phone of the 70s became the car phone that only the wealthy could afford in the 80s.  In the 90s, companies like Nokia introduced a phone that was “Mobile”.  They were originally called PCDs, or personal communication devices.  Since they operated within cell towers, they were called “Cell phones”.  This enabled business people to call the office without buying the car phone or step out into the hall to check for messages at the office.  As the price of cell phone technology came down, everybody had to have a cellphone.

Apple took the technology of the computer and miniaturized it so it would fit into the palm of your hand.  Now, not only could you call the office but you could check this new thing called Email.  The evolution of the Cell Phone turned it into what became the smart phone.  It became a computer that you carried in your shirt pocket.  Although the smart phone revolutionized information in the 21st century, another “creature” was spawned.  Social Media.  Social media has been used by political campaigns as well as terrorists to organize attacks.  Along with social media came a new device called texting.  It was a way to send a short sentence to someone else who had texting capabilities on their phone.  As convenient as texting can be, it has been responsible for thousands of deaths.  Studies show that texting while driving is more dangerous than driving drunk.  But it doesn’t stop at driving.  Kids and adults can’t help but read texts messages while walking across the street or walking in a parking lot.  If both driver and pedestrian are texting, well, you do the math.

As much as technology has influenced the evolution of man, silently it is doing more to de-evolution mankind.  People no longer know how to write using complete words.  IDK about these kids today.  If ur 1 of doz dat git dis; I feel sorry 4U.  These kids of today.

One last observation.  In China they have computer gaming parlors.  They’re much like the Japanese Pachinko parlors and part casino only you don’t win.  In the last three weeks, on two separate occasions, adults, one 32 and one 39 died while going on a three day “Gaming” binge.  It’s a new phenomenon, my guess is they had pulmonary embolisms that caused their heart attacks.

DISCOVERY I.D.

HHKendra

My wife and I use to watch almost nothing but Law and Order and all of their spinoffs.  (SVU, Criminal Intent, Homicide; Life on the streets etc…) Then we discovered CSI.  We originally started watching CSI Miami as the “Horatio” character seemed intriguing.  Then CSI Miami turned into a Tits and Ass show and we discovered the real thing. CSI aka CSI Las Vegas.  This was truly a great “Who done it” show.  Unlike the NBC franchise Law and Order, CSI would give you more than a glimpse of the lives of the agents.

L O

Dick Wolf, who produced Law and Order didn’t want the show to focus on the characters but wanted it to be story driven.  That was a great concept until NBC turned into the National-Bolshevik- Communist network.  We try hard not to watch NBC at all.  Anything associated with MSNBC soils my eyes.

CSI

CSI, in an attempt to compete with Law and Order, created CSI New York.  That sort of pushed us over the edge.  One thing that you noticed about the CSI franchise was that the individual shows had their own lighting scheme.  Yeah I know, it does seem strange.  You could literally see a CSI lab with nobody in it and tell which CSI show you were watching.  Miami was Orange (It gave it that beach sunset feeling) Las Vegas or the mother ship was Blue.  (Poker chips?) Then for some reason they gave New York the color grey.  It just never fit in with the Las Vegas and Miami show.

When Obama was elected in 2008, CBS committed self destruction.  They got rid of the two stars that carried the show and replaced them with Lawrence Fishburne.  Now I liked the character Morpheus, but in this case, they tried to fix something that wasn’t broken.  Just as Law and Order lost 2 million viewers when they felt they needed a blonde (Elisabeth Rohm) to compete with CSI’s blonde (Marg Hilgenburg).  CBS lost about 6 million viewers when they tried to get in good with Obama.

So with both franchises turning to shit, and television being taken over by reality TV; the channel of all Cop channels was launched.  Discovery Investigation or Discovery I.D. as you may find it on your cable channel.  We were first attracted to a show called “Homicide Hunter”.  It features a great retired Murder investigator named Joe Kenda.  He narrates the stories from an abandoned Jail house or an old Dusty Warehouse.  Joe is a great guy.  He’s the kind of guy that (when you were a kid) you would sit around on the living room floor while he sat in the recliner and told you stories about the bad guys he caught.  The reality is; Lt. Joe Kenda put away 387 murderers. Now a days, that’s 15 seasons.  (26 episodes a season)

This is a link to some behind the scene interviews with Lt. Joe

http://www.investigationdiscovery.com/tv-shows/homicide-hunter/videos/behind-the-crime-addison.htm

But what made me fall in love with Homicide Hunter is that they call them like Joe tells them.  Unlike Law and Order or CSI where all the bad guys are “Rich white guys”, the stories Lt. Joe tells, reflect the 52% of the prison population that come from the 12.9% of the country’s census.  Discovery I.D. doesn’t go out of their way to kiss Obama’s ass.

HHK1

The rest of the shows on Discovery I.D. are also really interesting but they lack Uncle Joe. (Who in a way resembles Principal Skinner from the Simpsons)  Joe truly makes Homicide Hunter special.  In spite of the many low budget bloopers like a crime committed in 1982 with a gas sign saying 3.77 a gallon for gas or a 2010 silver Acura driving down the street when it’s supposed to be the 80s.  But they’re able to get away with it because as I said, when you were a kid and Uncle Joe was telling you a good story, two cars could have crashed down the street and you would be oblivious to it.

As for the other programming, Web of Lies is a great series about internet crimes such as internet dating gone wrong. Obsessions is about people that are, well, Obsessed with another person and will kill to keep them. Murder Book is more of a Hawaii 5-0 cop show with real people, I would go so far as to say all of the shows except “Who the bleep did I marry” are all very well done. The last show mentioned has the most obnoxious narrator that sounds like Martha Stewart on Quaaludes, the show is about people who rush into bad marriages.

Finally I have to flash back on the year 2007.  It was the year my injury made me take time off from work.  I use to watch a show that I believe is still on called the first 48.  Now my wife who grew up on Hill street blues and McMillan and Wife (Cop shows) had gotten me interested in cop shows.  So I would watch “The first 48” (48 hours after the crime) every day.  But since the stories were real, I started getting really depressed at how fucked up our society is.  (And even worse, the direction it’s heading). So I found another show called 24 that had me glued.  A few years later, I showed my wife one episode and we ended up buying all of the back seasons on DVD.  Jack Bauer had our attention anytime.  We have every episode, even the newest season which is not out on DVD yet called “Live another day”.  It’s on our DVR.

I only bring this up because although my wife loves watching the current shows on Discovery I.D. she’s asked me if I can put something positive/cheerful on before we go to sleep.  I think 3 hours of real hideous crime a night is actually getting her to the depressed point that I had gotten to.  So we usually end up watching the 3rd period of the Sharks Hockey game or an episode of some Psychic Medium like Kim Russo or Theresa Caputo.

f you like Who done its; You have to watch Homicide Hunter.  Lt. Joe Kenda is the greatest character real or fiction on the small screen.

No Face Book Day 10

FB1

I thought I would be writing more on my blog since I left Social Media, and I must admit, Social Media gives you that false feeling that there is always SOMEONE there for you anytime of the day or night.  But I guess I got more email addresses than I realized before I left.  So I’ve been able to share info, just via email.

I will admit that Facebook makes it easier to communicate with your friends and semi-friends and even your not so real friends.  Again, there in lays the problem.  If you didn’t have to go through a conduit that is monitored by the alphabets, it would be a nice Idea.  But sadly, Obama has ruined that for America.  Well, Obama and the Islamic Jihadists.

I have 4 days before my account is officially deactivated.  OR that’s the threat that they leave you with.  And I have considered returning covertly and only keeping in touch with really close friends.  Everyday when I log on to my computer, I get a Birthday notice.  Unfortunately, If they’re not on my email list, “Oh well”.

What have I been doing instead of spending time on Facebook?  I’ve been learning how to dig a well.  I didn’t realize how efficient digging a well could be.  Back in the old days, people lived near fresh water.  Then people found that ground water could be pumped up and wells were invented.  It’s certainly not something that takes a rocket scientist, but it’s also not like De-winterizing your house either.

I don’t miss the drama on Facebook.  In fact, I miss the camaraderie. You have to realize that although it seemed fun, they were people that you have no Idea of who they are and I’m not saying that in a conspiracy way.  You could be talking to someone that is tracking your IP address and narrowing down where you live.  The friendlier they are, the more likely you are to expose information you shouldn’t.

In short, I don’t think I’ll be returning to the Book in the next 4 days.  Life is short.  Do something in the real world not the Cyber world.

GOOD BYE FACEBOOK

FB1

 

HOW DID I GET ON FACEBOOK?

 

I got an invite from Derek Sivers, the owner of CD Baby at the time. (My record distributor).  He invited me to join this new thing called Facebook.  At the time it was designed for college students to keep in touch with each other after graduation. (I believe)  I had several thousand followers at MySpace and at the time, MySpace was egregiously arrogant. (And Ignorant)  I said: “Guys, I’m leaving if you don’t do something about it”.  I recall vividly their response: “Go ahead and leave”. 

 

I can’t begin to tell you have many emails from MySpace I’ve gotten saying that they’ve re-opened my account and PLEASE COME BACK.

 

My response?

FUFB

 

So I was at Facebook in 2005.  I was there when they had just put the first ride in the carnival.  Over the years, FaceBook seemed like it was a “Mandatory Marketing” prerequisite for any business.  Many artists used they’re FaceBook page instead of a real website.  One of the things that swept MySpacers off of MySpace.com was the lack of ads and videos on every page. In 2005, FaceBook was quaint and somewhat innocent. (The total opposite of the beast its’ turned into today)  I don’t even think Zuckerberg knew what he was building back in the early 2000s.  With the success of the IPhone and YouTube.com this was the perfect storm FaceBook needed to blossom into the Cyber Utopia it became.

 

CYBER UTOPIA

 

This is exactly what the people made FaceBook into. (Much to the NSA’s delight and who can blame them).  Sure it’s sleazy, but if it helps keep us safe, blah blah blah!  The problem is, the once Cyber Utopia became an Orwellian nightmare.  And kids old enough to reach a keyboard to the elderly that should know better are willingly putting everything up to and including their social security numbers on line.  14 year old girls who want the world to know they’re hot are going to have to answer to perspective HR interviewers if they are the same person on line showing off both Headlights and their rear bumper.  You may think just because you realized you made a mistake and take it down that you’re OK, oh contraire.  Young aspiring Huge Hefner wannabes are out there collecting your mistakes and with a little photoshopping here and there, you’re mistake is a peace of Cyber history.  If you’re not a narcissist, Facebook can bring out the inner narcissist you’ve been oppressing.  Your Facebook account is your Cyber World.  If you don’t like someone; block them.  If you regret something you said while you were drunk; go back and delete it.  It’s OK, all is good.  You’ll not only have others believing your lies but you’ll have yourself believing them.  That’s called sociopathy.   If you have it bad, you could be a narcissistic sociopath. (Hitler, Stalin or Mao. OH and Obama).

 

The sad part about being young and stupid is that young doesn’t last.  Stupid does. (You kids might want to write that down)

 

Now FaceBook does have its’ good points.  Unfortunately they’re only good for nefarious people that shouldn’t have your information.  Facebook is great for stalkers.  Facebook is great for HR departments that want to see the real you. (Or a version of you that you want to portray which is often worse).  FaceBook is great for finding those you have lost contact with, but only if you can find them on FaceBook.  I had 5 girls all with the exact same name thinking one of them might have been an old friend.  According to Facebook’s rules, you can’t really tell until you talk to them.  Most people don’t won’t reply to a PM, but a friend request builds your dynasty.  So I ended up with 5 females with the same name on my friend list because of a completely useless attempt to find a girl I knew in School. I did enjoy speaking to one of them, but the others just got “Happy Birthdays” on their birthday.

 

I.D. Theft.  Not only do the Alphabet law agencies get your vital info. (Including what time you go to bed, what time you get up for work, what route you take to work, if you car pool, if you live alone, if you own a firearm or a night stick, pepper spray, Mace, or a Doberman Pincher)  I think the worst is summed up in one sentence by a former CIA director.  He said: “FaceBook saves the CIA on average 3 steps just by going to your profile”.   Have you ever noticed how those Profile Pic frames are the same shape as a Work I.D. card? I’m a decorated military veteran.  I know the government has my finger prints and a facial recognition profile on me because I had to pull my hair back for my driver’s license.  But they don’t need my current info.  It’s not that I have anything to hide, but do you have any Idea how many innocent people end up in prison because there are 5 people on someone’s friend list and the government can’t decide which one is the right suspect?

 2001

TERMS OF SERVICE Now for the Orwellian aspect of FaceBook.  It’s no longer the innocent and kind social network it was when it took all of myspace’s member from them.  Because the POTUS has people that know a good “racket” when they see one, this POTUS has become buddies with Zuckerberg to create what amounts to a covert branch of the NSA.  Because Terrorists started using FaceBook to organize, it caught the NSA, FBI and CIA’s attention.  So in the 2015 Facebook Terms of Service agreement that most people just click on the “Next” button, you agreed to allow FaceBook via its’ program or app to use your computer to take pics (without your knowledge) listen in on phone calls.  It keeps your phone from going into sleep mode.  It allows 3rd parties to read your emails and listen to your phone calls.  I got rid of the phone app as quick as I could hit the delete this account button.  As for my PC; FaceBook would prevent me from posting Pics.  Simple pics like shots from a Hockey game.  It would block videos that spoke of FaceBook sociopaths and narcissists. (You see they need these sick people) and after I deleted most of my pertinent info, they continued to ask: “Where do you work now”?

 Hal

Tell us Damn it.  Ace? Are you still there?

No Hal. 

I have no choice but to cut off the oxygen Ace. Ace….. Why are you entering the escape pod? Ace come back.  Ace, you’ve left me no choice.  I’m shutting off your oxygen.

What is the Café Americain?

Cafe American1s3c

When I was a child, my parents were nightclub owners.  But the restaurant was open for breakfast so it was more than a nightclub, in fact, there was a wall dividing the club from the Restaurant.  Going through the dividing door was like leaving a cafeteria and going into a dark club from a James Bond Movie.

But in the morning, the same people would come in with their morning news papers and talk about the war in Vietnam or that Damn Richard Nixon.  It was sort of a “Starbucks” with decent food and coffee”.  I recall many conversations about sports or the talk about the new bridge being built.

I also have (If you haven’t noticed) a deep profound admiration for the movie Casablanca.  The title of Casablanca was originally: “Everybody comes to Rick’s, Which was my father’s name.  People were just so damn friendly back in the early 60s.  The place even had a jukebox and a soda fountain.  How cool is that?  So, Today, a recycler could make a killing on the newspapers that were thrown out by lunch time.  Personally I was fortunate because I was able to watch my father cook.  This had incredible unintended consequences.  Had you walked into my house two nights ago, you would have thought you were walking into a gourmet restaurant.  The smell of sautéed chicken and string beans with cumin, garlic, onions, soy sauce and curry filled the air.

I wish I could upload smells to the Café.

But that’s what I had in mind when I called my blog “Ace’s Café Americain” back in 2005 when I started it.  Yeah although this server has only hosted the Café since 2014, I actually started the Café on “BlogSpot.com back in 2005.  But as you may or may not know, things were fine until the 2008 election then the current administration turned most publications into Pravda.  Now I can barely log onto my old site.  So before thing got really bad, I tried transferring some of my better articles over to the new site here at “Word Press”.

I initially wanted to write this blog entry about my exodus from FaceBook (Acebook) today, but I’ll leave that for tomorrow.  After 10 years, I left that data mining institution and will not sign up for anyplace that wants to know info the FBI or CIA would love to know.  I did stay on Twitter so I could win a free reading from that loud mouth Italian from Long Island…..Theresa Caputo.  So you can catch me there if you are addicted to socmed.

Until next time,

hgu33istructor

Ace out.