I was daydreaming of what it would be like if I got to sit across from Jesus, the Christ on Superbowl Sunday and interview Him.  The following were my thoughts.


Ace: Jesus, thank you for letting me talk to you.

Jesus: Anytime, anywhere.  I’m always there.

Ace: Let me get this right; You’re 1/3 of the Holy Trinity, correct?

Jesus: That’s what you say.

Ace: All I know is what I’ve read from the Holy Bible.

Jesus: Yes I’ve heard of this collection of writings.

Ace: Did you ask that such a book be written about You, the Holy Spirit and your Father?

Jesus: Does it say I did?

Ace: Not that I can recall.

Jesus: I told my followers to go into all the world teaching and baptizing in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Ace: Will we go to Hell if we don’t?

Jesus: Do you think you should?

Ace: You died and were without a heartbeat for 3 days, then you came back to life and reports say that hundreds saw you after you were killed on the cross.

Jesus: Hey, better Me than you. Right?  It was the plan from the beginning.

Ace: You told Peter that you could call on more than 12 legions of Angels and wipe out the Roman Army.  Why didn’t you?

Jesus: I came to bring peace and not war.  The Father wants those who love him on faith, not fear.  He wants you to be your best, not a blob of molecules with an electrical charge.

Ace: Why can’t we see the Father?

Jesus: He’s there. Can you see the wind?  You know it’s there.  You can see the results of it, but you can’t see it, can you?

Ace: Are all humans created equal?

Jesus: Where did you read that? You are all the Father’s children whom he love’s very much.

Ace: Our forefathers wrote that in a document we call the “Declaration of Independence”.

Jesus: Did they die for your sins?

Ace: Not that I can recall.

Jesus: All men were created with free will.

Ace: Why is there Evil in the world?

Jesus: Ask Adam.

Ace: Why did you even let Adam near the tree with the fruit of knowledge?

Jesus: We want human spirits to be able to use their free will. We didn’t want Stepford humans.

Ace: You’ve seen that movie, The Stepford Wives?

Jesus: I see everything.

Ace: What were your thoughts?

Jesus: Meh…

Ace: Satan is so much more powerful than humans, how is the common man to face such a cleaver and evil opponent?

Jesus: You have Me, the Father and the Holy Spirit.  That’s 3 against 1. You’re not alone.

Ace: Why do bad things happen to good people?

Jesus: It’s the price of free will.

Ace: Can I get to heaven if I don’t repent of my sinful ways, confess God is the one true God, ask for forgiveness and be baptized?

Jesus: The Father loves Our creation and can let whomever He wants into Paradise.  But if you prefer to make up your own rules just remember, that’s your decision.

Ace: So why do so many “religions” teach that salvation requires this, this, and that to get into heaven?

Jesus: Ace, I didn’t come here to start religions.  I came to offer humans a way.  I died in the flesh so that you don’t have to die in the afterlilfe.  I didn’t write a book called “Salvation for Dummies”.  I didn’t write any books at all.  The only thing I wrote was in the dirt.  You have all you need to get to heaven.  I promised it to the 12 and those who heard it from the 12.  Any more questions?

Ace: Just one.  Is Bill O’Reilly a saint or a pinhead?

Jesus: Both.  He’s a pinhead because he only allows his guests so much “free will” when it comes to answering his questions. Yet we all love him anyway.

Ace: What makes him a saint?

Jesus: He puts up with Geraldo.

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