YOU & YOUR FAT ASS

Vol. 1 FATS

A Majority of Americans today are a good 10 to 60 pounds overweight.  What do I blame it on? No it’s not your love of Ice Cream Sandwiches or Bon Bons; It’s the thing you’re starring at, but more so the thing your Fat Ass is sitting on.

When we were blessed with the era of information, we were also shifted into the era of sedentary labor.  Now what use to take 4 guys with Schwarzenegger arms, now can be done by a 110 pound female with the help of a robotic arm.  Yep, that back seat to your new car can glide into place with just a little guidance from one human arm.

Instead of having to climb into an air duct to check humidity and vacuum, all you have to do is pull down a computer menu attached to probes in the duct and you can do it all from your cushy chair.

The new industrial injury has shifted from the low back or lumbar disc damage to “Carpal Tunnel Syndrome”, “Obesity”, “Hypertension” and a “plethora of anal conditions”. Seriously, I’ve written several articles on taking really good care of your ass if you sit on it all day.

YOU DON’T WANT RECTAL SURGERY.  Hemorrhoids OUCH, Anal Fistulas DOUBLE OUCH.  And it’s not the condition, it’s the ugly surgery and recovery.  This is why you need to pull up a bar stool, (Or stand) at the Café Americain on Fridays.  I’m going to help you get rid of that FAT ASS.

Before I start the HOW TO part; I need to reprogram your brain.  I’m not going to talk about diets or weight loss programs.  KNOWLEDGE is POWER. So for Volume 1 just want to focus on FAT.

FATS: Taste really good.  You’ll find it in Ice Cream, Red Meat, even my favorite sustenance Peanuts. Now don’t freak out on me, but there’s good fats and bad fats.

First: Bad Fats.  These are “Poly-saturated” fats. It means that the molecule that make up the fat are small and sticky.  What happens when you run fine sticky sand through Tubing with fine holes in it?  The holes clog and fat builds up.

Now the Good Fats.  Yes it is an Oxymoron.  You should avoid fats if possible but most of the culinary arts do not.  So if you’re going to buy oil to cook with.  Buy extra Virgin Olive oil.  It’s what is called Mono-saturated.  What happens if you put large rocks through that same tubing that has been clogged with the fine sand?  It tends to push it out of the tubing.

So it’s important that you look at the labels and see what kind of fat you’re eating.  Peanuts are rich in fat, but it’s mainly mono-saturated fat.

I’ll try to keep this simple because I know most of you have not studied biophysics, but when you hear your doctor talk about good cholesterol and bad cholesterol; he or she is talking about good and bad fats.  Only the scientific term is called “Lipids”.  (As in Lip-o-suction) with this in mind; now you can understand HDL cholesterol and LDL cholesterol.  AKA “high density lipids” and “low density lipids”.  Low density lipids or fat is like spackle.  It sticks to your tubes, only in this case we’ll call them arteries and veins.  High density lipids are like toilet bowl brushes.  They lower the amount of LDL building up in your arteries.  Pills like Lipitor are the equivalent of Draino.  After 10 years of use, we’ve found that Drano can rot your delicate tubes. (Lipitor or “statins” can damage your muscles, the companies don not deny this). BTW, your heart is a big muscle.  So the principle you want to remember is:

DON’T EAT POLY-SATURATED FATS.   

Pardon the pun but, “chew on this info for a while”.  We’ll talk about Carbs and Proteins soon.  But I do not want to over load your mind.  Lastly I want to talk about what fats are good for.

First: They usually taste really good. Second: If you survive a plane crash and you’re in the wilderness looking for food, your fat acts as a reserve form of sustanence.  I’m not saying it makes you superman/woman but it’s been shown that fat people are usually the last to starve to death.  On the other hand, healthy people are in a better position to find and catch or gather food.