I don’t know why I’m on a Childhood memory thing. But I wanted to share something with any of my handful of readers that might have lost someone dear to them at a young age. It may even apply if you lost someone as an adult, but it’s a symptom of “ABANDONEMENT SYNDROME”.
This is pretty common amongst those who were orphaned at a young age. But if you did lose a parent at a young age, for what ever reason. Perhaps they died or just divorced your mom and left town never to see you again. When you grow up, you’ll find yourself acquiring some odd habits. The worst is trying to find a mate to take the place of your lost parent. That’s a lose/lose scenario. So to my young readers in your 20s or 30s, don’t push it.
But I absolutely hate this bad habit which I’m told comes from abandonment syndrome. If I lose something like a favorite ink pen. (Heaven forbid it be my Montblanc) Or as was the case tonight, I couldn’t find my picture albums from when I toured in the early 90s. I turned into Jack Bauer trying find it. Seriously, I would shoot someone in the leg if they knew where my lost item was but wouldn’t tell me. I’m using hyperbole but you get the idea. People who have lost a love one, will stop the world and search for something they fear losing. I won’t give up looking for something until I find it. I have the tenacity of General Patton.
The logic behind this is that, the search for the lost ink pen or photo album gives the sub-conscious mind a feeling like it’s looking for the person you lost. When your mom dies when you’re in 5th grade, your mind plays games with you. You know you can’t bring them back, but the hunt or search gives your ID, (Higher self) the feeling that you’re doing something that you know is impossible. The more you are emotionally attached to the object, the more rewarding it is when you find it but in a “Psychotic way”.
So If you’re one of those people who obsess over lost items and can’t sleep until you find it; I’ll bet you’ve lost a love one and it’s their absence that drives you to keep looking for the lost Item. Think about it the next time you lose something. Some people can say: “Aw it’ll turn up” but if you’re like me, it can be 10:00PM and you’re telling your spouse: “Don’t wait up for me, I’m going to turn the garage inside out until I find what I’m looking for. Sadly, the more you miss the lost person, the harder it is to overcome this psychotic behavior. It’s even worse if you were 10 years old standing on the curb watching your mom drive off in a car with all of her belongings.