One thing I’ve learned is that “procreation” in its self does not make you a father. (Or mother). Judging your parents is purely subjective and wrong for anyone to expect their parents to be the Cleavers.
One thing I’ve learned is that as we grow, it takes at least 35 years before you begin to understand what being a good human is all about. Once you stop listening to television or your friends and start listening to that inner voice, only then can you change your own character. It never happens overnight no matter what kind of epiphany you’ve had.
The best you can hope for is to understand what made your parents tick. Once you do that, you can get Freud out of your head and take responsibility for your actions and become accountable. At that point you can let go of the past. Only then can you start your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, which, in the end, is all you can hope to do.
Giving birth to a healthy child is the best you can do as a parent. (Meaning not giving birth to a Crack/alcohol addicted infant). How they are raised is all gravy. Keep in mind how you prioritized your children in your life will surely reflect on you on judgment day. I would think that “Loving your children” would have more meaning than “Love thy neighbor”.