PENILE EXTENSION SURGERY

And other male procedures

(Ouch)

Sorry, no pictures

 In all fairness, after publishing an article on breast Augmentation,   I felt the male counter surgery needed to be discussed.  But I had never EVER seen or heard of Penile extension surgery before.  (Not that it’s a personal concern) Hey I’m not bragging.  BUT, there was a time when I was working for a surgical registry and one of my assignments was at the U.C.S.F. Surgical Center in San Francisco.

I had done lots of “Out of this world”, experimental operations at UCSF medical center that left me driving home asking myself: “What the hell did I just do today”?  Seriously!  I was Staff at Stanford University Medical Center for 4 years and I saw some “Pioneering” procedures being done, but at UCSF, all I can say is OMG.  And OMG is not nearly close enough to describe the horror.

HAIR TRANSPLANTS

Anyway, Ladies; you women aren’t the only ones insecure about your private parts.  I use to literally do hair transplants by myself. (Almost) The surgeon would come in with the patient asleep.  He would drill/core 30 to 60 holes in a males bald scalp. (And leave the plugs in the scalp) Then he would cut out a swatch of hair from the back of the patient’s head and drill 60 to 70 holes in this piece of scalp.  (Again leaving them in the swatch).  Then he would leave the room for about an hour, and I would take forceps (Tweezers) and delicate scissors and pull the plugs out of the swatch that had hair follicles.  Then after I had graded them; I would take the same forceps and scissors and pull out the bald plugs which were .5mm smaller than the ones with hair and toss them.

I would then spend the next 45 minutes putting the hairy plugs into the empty holes and I also had to point the hair in the right direction.  Then when I was done, the wealthy cosmetic surgeon would put on gloves, come back into the room and sow the “Swatch” site together and inspect my placement.  He got paid something like 17.00 a plug.  I got 14.00 an hour.  But that’s just one insecurity that men put themselves through and in L.A. there’s a clinic that specializes in nothing but these plugs.  You’ve probably seen their commercials on TV.

PENILE LENGTHENING

Meanwhile back in San Francisco; there is one certain ethnicity that does these incredible painfully hard procedures that lengthen a males penis maybe an inch.  It’s a nightmare as it involves taking soft tissue grafts and sowing them together to create length.  The problem is you can only suture so many together.  Then you have to wait a year and if your Penis doesn’t look like a curved banana, (well actually they’re more like bent cocktail sausages), they can try and add more length.  Now I’m not going to show any pics because I don’t think my audience could handle the graphic procedure.  But I will say this.  The doctors that do this procedure and the patients have one thing in common (Besides the obvious) they are all of the same “basic” ethnicity.  I won’t give away the ethnicity, but I’ll only say that they do a fine job of contributing to the world population with what they have.

PENILE PROSTHESIS/IMPLANTS

One last thing men will put themselves through, and this, sadly, is for guys that have lost the erectile ability due to cancer or congenital issues.  It’s called the Penile Prosthesis.  No it’s not a strap on dildo.  The way an erection works is by filling two long chambers on either side of your urethra (Pee tube) with blood.  What Viagra does is forces blood into these tube shaped chambers.  But for some men; the blood cannot stay in the “Corpora”  So for these unfortunate men, science has designed inflatable bladders.  You heard me right.  They’re like hot dog shaped breast implants only you pump them up yourself.  So you have empty plastic liners in your penis and a reservoir filled with saline up above your pubic region.

When you want a woody, you started pumping a pump device.  When you’re done having sex, you hit a release button which drains the salt water back into the reservoir.   I really feel sorry for these guys as they are putting their manhood through a ton of risk just to have sex.  The risk of infection is higher because of the location.  Personally, if I were in my 20s, I would have to think long and hard (sorry the pun) about this procedure.

We often take so much for granted.