TITS

THIS IS A B CUP

This is a story about personal preference in the female appearance.  It’s about trying to clear up awful misconceptions and insecurities women have about their looks.  Let me just come right out and say it.  “THE SIZE OF YOUR BREASTS DO NOT MATTER”.  In fact I believe in that statement so much that I got fired from assisting a plastic Surgeon as a result of a conversation we were having about breast “augmentation”.  In fact, breast implants are to a cosmetic surgeon as Tonsillectomies and P.E. Tubes are to a pediatric Ear Nose and Throat surgeon.  It’s their “bread and butter”.

From this Man’s point of view (POV) breast are for babies.  From an anatomical POV, breast are fat cells that protect mammary glands.  These glands create breast milk to nourish the new born.  I have never been one to stare at a woman’s breasts.  It’s been my experience that a woman with truly large breast, will eventually (before she hits 40) have a truly large waste line to match them.  That usually comes with a really large matching ass and extremities.

I live in a part of the U.S. that has many casinos.  I’ve had the “joy” to see many “show girls”.  The first time I ever saw a choreography show, the women were all topless. (Much to my surprise. Seriously)  Let me preface this by saying each one had a fabulous body; but not one of them had a B cup or larger.  I wasn’t able to go backstage to interview any of the dancers, but I know a person who knows a person who is involved in the casino entertainment industry.   I was told that they work so hard; they literally dance the fat off of their breasts.

That impressed me.

This impresses me even more.

The common infantile view of a male who seeks a woman with large breasts I’ve always felt came from being breast fed as a child.  I’ve never done any research and I have no science to back it up, but I can only speak for myself. (Bottle fed).  I’ve never turned my head when a woman with large breasts walked by.  I certainly would not insist that a woman I dated who was a b cup or smaller subject herself to the blade.  Again, I believe that the attraction to the fat cells of a woman’s breast, are an infantile attraction.  It says a lot about the guy as well.  So ladies B cup and under, if a guy wants you to have breast implants; RUN.  And guys, if a woman is saving for an augmentation; RUN.  Deep within her lays an insecurity that needs to be healed in a psychiatrist’s office. (Not a cosmetic surgeon’s operating room).

THE SURGERY

In the old days, surgeons actually made incisions around the nipple and literally STUFFED bags of silicon into the fat cells.  The result was a fake looking augmentation.  Then in the late 90s after many implants by Dow had exploded at 20,000 feet on American Airlines, surgeons went to an inflatable implant that was filled with Saline (Salt water).  At the same time, the very advanced surgeon would make an incision in your armpit, then slide the implant under one of your chest muscles and THEN fill it with saline.  The problem is: “size”.  It’s kind of like the argument for minimum raise.  Some say it should be 10.00 and hour, some say 15.00 an hour while pundits say: “Why not 100.00 an hour”?  The same decision has to be made by the patient.

Have you ever seen a guy in his late 30s, who has been gray for 10 years, all of a sudden show up at work with jet black hair?  The term “FAKE” gets circulated through the whole building.  Such is the case when your co-worker goes from

“Twiggy” to

“Morganna”   

So let’s finish my story about getting fired by a plastic surgeon.  Doctor So and So asked me in the middle of a breast augmentation: “What my opinion was about women with implants”.  I said: “I wasn’t impressed by big breasts and that woman who felt they needed an augmentation had insecurity issues”.  Hey, it was just my opinion.  As it turns out, the nurse who was in the room was a previous patient of the surgeon.

The surgeon responded with a Freudian response. ” He said: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”.  I responded: “I hate cigars”. 

A month later I was once again a full time musician.  What can I say?  I decided once I got divorced that I would stay away from women with 3 things.

1. Cosmetic surgery.  (Optional surgery, not elective)
2. Tattoos
3. Women who smoked.

Sometimes a Cigar is a Trojan horse.

“The smaller the woman’s breasts; The closer your hearts are”. ~ Ace