The introduction.

OK, if you don’t have a really open mind.  You’re not going to find this post very amusing so go watch the Food Network NOW.  GO GET OUT. I think you’re missing Bobby Flay.

Anyway, reason #1

I was brainwashed  and something

happened to me at the age of 4. 

Let me tell you a story of what happened to me and you have my word, it’s all true.

At the age of 4 I had an out of body experience.  To be honest it was an “entering body experience”.  A physical awareness of my body from the spiritual point of view.  But seriously how profound could an experience by a 4 year old be?  That’s a fair question.

I remember it as if it were yesterday.  My mom, probably as a chance to nurse a bad hangover, would send us kids to church every Sunday. I learned later (When I was 6) that the girl liked to party all the time (As in the Eddie Murphy song).  This explains my mom’s death when I was 11.  Hey my baseball glove is almost twice that age.

But I remember those 1950’s folding chairs.  We sat in the back on the left side (facing the pulpit) This young kid (me) remembers looking down at my little four year old hands and fingers and becoming aware that I could make them open and close at will. I felt separated from my extremities.  After years of trying to figure this out; I believe it was my spirit connecting with my frontal cortex.

I believe in the silver cord theory that we are connected to God/Source energy by a silver spiritual umbilical cord that is invisible to the human range of the light spectrum.  For that matter, there could be an entire universe or multiple universes that are invisible to our eye’s light spectrum.

I told you at the beginning that you needed an open mind.

Does this explain ghosts?  I don’t know.  I think ghosts are real, but they’re probably spirits in a glitch.   Am I saying God is imperfect?  Not at all. God has given us free will.  We can be as stupid as we want.  God allowed Cain to kill his brother Able out of jealousy.  Does that make God an evil God, or does it make death less important?

It’s my belief that God showed me the spiritual aspect of my life, (It just happened to be in a church I can vividly remember when I was 4) Plus that experience was followed up by 13 years of threats of Hell, Fire and brimstone/damnation.

That’s all for today.  Let me know if you’ve had an out of body experience or if you have reason to believe God exists.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow.  God willing.




Today we celebrate the Birthday of one the masters of personal development. Stephen R. Covey.  Covey authored several great books but none of them came close to the life changing book: “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. Many people have “rock bottom” experiences.  I was in that position once.  I was thrown from a “cushy” 6 figure income into having my own business and having to work at something I wasn’t really trained well to do.  The cushy job was “marketing” surgical cameras.  The hard job was selling them for a profit.


One day in “Office Depot” I was picking up a ream of paper for my printer. I had just suffered a bad month.  So I browsed through the book/audio book row.  I was looking for some business books or tapes, (preferably tapes so I could learn while I drove) and I left with the Simon & Shuster tape “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  When I was in Marketing, the Salesmen were averaging $250,000.00 a year.  I think I qualified for welfare.  As was the case when I tried to satisfy my ex-wife and ventured into Sales (with the use of my degree in business administration) I always got in at the end of the curve. I must mention that I majored in business because a Music degree was useless and I figured having a business background would help me once I made it in music.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people is a common sense way of saying: “There are no shortcuts in life”. Or better yet: “Short cuts never work in the long run”.  It was a game changer for me.  I listened to the tape constantly.

I met Dr. Covey once. It went like this. I was standing in a long line.  I finally got to the front and said: “Thank you for changing my life” after we finished shaking hands.  Dr. Covey stood up and grabbed my hand again before I could leave and said: “No. Thank you son”.  It’s a memory I’ll take to the grave.

If you don’t have it. Buy the book and read every page.  Better yet; buy the CD and listen to it as many times as you can.

Happy Birthday Stephen.

God and Hard Times


Who am I to wonder where God is when I really need Him?  I pray daily.  Even if sometimes it’s just for the meal I’m about to eat.  I ask for forgiveness, Thank Him for the food and ask Him to bless it to the nourishment of my body, ask for blessed health and ask for financial opportunity in these troubled Obamanomics times.

We’ve all heard the expression: “It seems like my prayers don’t even make it to the ceiling”.

I feel that way now.  It’s been a LONG time since I’ve had that telepathic clairsentient message from God.  It’s been even longer since I’ve had that spontaneous answer to my prayer.  I’ve had prayers answered, PHYSICALLY, in less than 30 seconds.

When I was struggling and single, I had no bed to sleep on.  All I had was an old 6″ thick Futon to sleep on.  After a month of laying on this padding, I was waking to the 15th round of a fight with Mike Tyson every morning. I use to pray before I left my apartment every day.  One morning I prayed that God might bless me with a bed.  I was in so much pain from sleeping on this really bad futon it made prayer headlines (Front page, above the crease).  I got up off of my knees, went to leave out the front door and the apartment manager was there loading a fairly nice bed w/ box springs into a U-Haul trailer to take to the dump.  I said, I’ll take it. He was happy to dump it off on me.

30 seconds and my prayer is answered.

But what about Joseph? (Genesis 39:7-12)   God allows Joseph to suffer in prison for being righteous.  Joseph rejects Potiphar’s seductive wife and she got her vengeance by falsely accusing Joseph of raping her.

Joseph spends 8 years in prison for doing the right thing.  Of course the story has a happy ending (if you don’t mind spending 8 years in prison) as Joseph becomes the Prime Minister of Egypt. He uses his Clairvoyant talents to predict and help avoid the disastrous results of a draught in Egypt.

My point is this.  Stories like Joseph and Job are in the Bible to remind us that Life is not fair.  We have free will, but it’s only to show God where our heart’s lay.  We may think God is not fair.  Why make Abraham wait until he is 99 before he comes through on his promise to bless Sarah with a child?  Does that fall under the sense of humor category?

Sometimes God has blessed me when I didn’t deserve it.  Other times I’ve (Literally) shouted from a mountain top: “FATHER I NEED YOUR HELP”,  only to come down from the mountain to a phone call saying I was  being terminated. (After I had just saved a patent’s life)

The idea of God answering prayers stopped making sense to me several years ago.  Garth Brooks once said that the best prayers are the ones God doesn’t answer.  If that’s the case, I’ve got greatness coming my way.  I’m not comparing myself to Joseph, Job or Abraham, but I’ve asked and haven’t received in a long long long time.

Perhaps this is my challenge of attrition.  Things have seldom come easy for me.  I believe in God and The Son, Christ Jesus.  I believe the Holy Spirit can and has helped me.  I am a sinner and I’ve been a preacher;  But if You’re reading this Lord, I could use a blessing.






Dear Parentless Child,

Understand that life on this planet can be long or prematurely terminated. If you can read this, you were not killed in the womb.  Remember that as you grow.  If your life was not taken in the womb, never consider taking another’s life in the womb.

Growing up in the fast lane is based on two principles.

1. You must know right from wrong and be brave enough to choose right even when wrong seems acceptable, more fun and is justified by society.  In the long term it’s this thought process that will indeed hurt you on this planet.  If you have trouble understanding right from wrong, seek a noble mentor.  If one is not available, read the New Testament Bible and try to emulate the life of Jesus.  Let the Jesus in the Holy Bible be your example of righteousness.

2.  You must try to understand Love. If you were born and grew up in an orphanage; it will be hard for you to understand unconditional Love. The most important form of love is the love you have for everything created by God.  God, the Creator of the Universe, Source Energy or your Higher Power is the one you will have to answer to in the end.  Don’t hold a grudge against God.  Your life will be full of obstacles.  Never forget that even the worst of the worst are still creatures of our God.  Show them love by wanting what is best for them.  Show them the best that you can give them.  The truth is that on this planet there is no “Us and Them”.  There is only us.

Story of the not so cute little kitten

I once had a pet kitten. There was something wrong with this creature.  It was not an easy pet to love.  It did not enjoy being held. It would hiss when touched.  It urinated on my coats and shirts that had fallen off their hangers.  I knew that had I taken this creature back to the place where I had adopted it; it would be put to sleep (death).  For ten years I put up with the damage and frustration this cat caused.  I got to a point where I was keeping it alive and feeding it just because it was the right thing to do.  That in its self was a form of the love I’m talking about.  Looking back, I believe this animal was put into my life as a lesson to see if I could love something that did not show love back.  It also showed me that I had a personal choice to get angry or just accept the situation and save myself the ulcer.  This is called Agape love. (Pronounced Ah-gah-pay).  It’s the most important type of love because it reflects on your ability to love, show compassion and mercy.  It’s the kind of love God has for his creation.

Human Nature

Humans that have offspring usually have a natural love for their creation. I would have said that this separates us from the animal kingdom but I’ve found that some humans can walk away from their children in a very animalistic fashion while at the same time a Mother Bear will protect her cubs with her last fighting breath.


A mother’s true love for her child is the Agape Love we should show for everyone. You may have heard the term: “He/She’s the type only a mother can love”.  You need to show that type of love for others while expecting nothing in return.  Your duty is your reward.  You showed love.  Even if the creature turns on you and kills you, you will have died proving your worthiness as a loving creature.  If you see someone hurting, do what you can to ease their pain.  If you see someone struggling, help them.


Life can get lonely. If you have no family it is better to stay within yourself than share your ignorance and desperaton with someone you find attractive.  I say “Ignorance” because if you haven’t figured out what your own faults, weaknesses and fears are, you will more than likely only be able to find a match that has the same issues that you have.  In short, my child, intimacy with another ignorant person will not solve the loneliness that stems from your “Ignorance”.  Keep in mind, highly educated individuals can be emotionally ignorant.  Love is not a quid pro quo arrangement.

Loneliness is never a good reason to seek company. Two ignorant people are worse than one.  When one sees enlightenment, often the other is no longer a match.  So in searching for a mate; become the person you want to meet first.  Likeness attracts likeness.  It’s simple physics.

When you strike a 512 Hz tuning fork, (concert C) if you hold another 512 tuning fork next to it, it will start vibrating without physical stimulation. If you hold a higher vibrating tuning fork like a 659 Hz (concert E) the fork will remain still. If you think substance abuse will solve your problems, you will probably find someone that tolerates substance abuse.  Abuse of anything is a form of ignorance. Don’t be ignorant.  Read! Watch personal Development videos! Talk to those who are perceived to have wisdom.  Go to personal growth seminars if you can afford it and believe the speaker is a person of wisdom.

Your body was created “naturally” with chemicals and organs designed to pro-create. (Meaning reproduce). Remember this when you engage in the act of sex.  Sex often leads to reproduction. It’s supposed to.  It’s always been my creed (when lucid) to avoid sex with someone I would not spend the rest of my life with.  You will find some that view sex as a sport, drug, distraction, affirmation or an intimate hand shake.  This thought process often leads to unwanted reproduction.  Unwanted reproduction is the road to the orphanage.  If you, my child, don’t want to put another human in the same shoes you were forced to wear; you will avoid sex without commitment.  Make love, not sex.  Sex without love is equivalent to substance abuse.  Don’t do it.  Love should be the: “Physical Manifestation of Spiritual Unity”.


You can only change the past by altering the future. Think hard about that.  If you go through life dwelling about how hard you had it growing up; remember that at some point you became responsible for your actions.  In most religions they talk about the “age of accountability”.  As far as the law is concerned, it differs in legal definition in different states.  In the absence of responsible guidance, this will take you longer.

*However; once you realize that your actions become your past, you can modify your future actions which will in time modify your past. Once you read this it will be in your past by the time you understand it. 

Remember you only have one chance to make a first impression. If you’ve based your life on right from wrong and let Love and Knowledge guide your behavior ,  you will not have to worry about how you come across to others.  (You shouldn’t anyway)  Be what you want to be then share your life with the like minded person you attracted.



It was Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton, it could have even been Gil Grissom that once said: “Once you look at something, you change it”.  I do know this for sure, once you look at something intensely; it changes you.

Unknown Emotions


11 years ago we adopted an orange tabby from the SPCA. Boy was he ever glad to be out of his kennel (The first day).  We took him home to a beautiful surroundings that had an upstairs and down stairs made for a wild mountain lion.

Upon the second night of getting familiar with the new kitten, he had changed. While this little 5 or 6 week old kitten was standing on the bathroom sink, I went to pick him up and “bond” with him.  He arched his little back like a Halloween cat and hissed like a Cobra.  He did the same to my wife.

We both stared at each other in disbelief.

If you adopt a pet from a rescue agency like animal control or the SPCA. Should you return the pet for “behavioral” issues; you are sending that pet to death row.  So being the responsible pet owners that we wanted to be, we kept hope that the kitten would change.  We figured a new environment would just take some getting used to.  One can surely hope can’t they?  He did warm up to my wife but only on his terms.

For 11 years, this animal was the “problem child”. Any other less responsible pet owner would have sent him back or as time went by, just had him euthanized.  We live in a culture that refers to “abortion” as “Having it taken care of”.  Your pet or baby becomes an “it”.  It’s so easy to just “Tap out”.

I considered the tabby my penitence. Sometimes God puts aggravation into your life to see how you will respond to it.  I can assure you that coming home from a long day on the road only to find that the Nike bag you left on your office floor got urinated on will test your will and emotional strength.  There were more than several times when one of us would say to the other, if you want to take him down and have him put to sleep, just  don’t tell me about it.  But for the reason of knowing right from wrong, putting up with this source of aggravation built a certain type of character.  I’ve never considered character an emotion, however; it did develop a certain hidden emotion.  Hate is an emotion.

The opposite of love is NOT hate; it’s indifference.   Sometimes indifference is a survival tool be it long term or situational.

Today; after 11 years of trying to show love for this difficult tabby, it came time to put him to sleep due to a terminal illness. This was the first euthanasia of a pet I had witnessed since I had to put “My Gool ol’ Max Dog” down 11 years ago.

That tore me up. In 2005 I had spontaneous crying attacks just driving down the road.  I would be in the shower and realize that my shadow of 9 years was gone and I would lean my head against the shower tile and cry.  I would see one of his favorite toys in “PetSmart” and get choked up.

Since then, my wife has taken our first two cats in by herself as I just couldn’t/wouldn’t do it. But for some reason, as much as I disliked this cat, I forced myself to treat it humane; I felt I had to be there for his last goodbye.

I don’t know if it was repressed and released memories of 2005 or perhaps a ball of anger, frustration and self-imposed control; but I started to tear up when I closed his eyes for the last time. I felt he needed someone to show him love one last time. This is the essence of true love.  It’s the principle of first century Christianity;  showing love to someone or thing that needs it regardless of your feelings for it.

Cat Christmas 009

It’s only human.

Father’s Day


One thing I’ve learned is that “procreation” in its self does not make you a father. (Or mother). Judging your parents is purely subjective and wrong for anyone to expect their parents to be the Cleavers.

One thing I’ve learned is that as we grow, it takes at least 35 years before you begin to understand what being a good human is all about. Once you stop listening to television or your friends and start listening to that inner voice, only then can you change your own character. It never happens overnight no matter what kind of epiphany you’ve had.

The best you can hope for is to understand what made your parents tick. Once you do that, you can get Freud out of your head and take responsibility for your actions and become accountable. At that point you can let go of the past. Only then can you start your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, which, in the end, is all you can hope to do.

Giving birth to a healthy child is the best you can do as a parent. (Meaning not giving birth to a Crack/alcohol addicted infant). How they are raised is all gravy. Keep in mind how you prioritized your children in your life will surely reflect on you on judgment day. I would think that “Loving your children” would have more meaning than “Love thy neighbor”.

Destiny vs. Free Will

Tales from the O.R. is more than intriguing stories about surgical cases. It represents what I’ve come to know as God’s will. I hated the operating room. I even had a surgeon tell me that he couldn’t believe how good I was in surgery; yet how apparent it was that I hated what I was doing. Reflecting back on my years in the Operating Room has given me much to think about. Yes I’m a guitar diety first, (according to the Wave Magazine)  but we all need to eat.
I knew a plastic surgeon who came from a long line of surgeons. His first love was sculpting. He couldn’t wait to get home to his studio and get his hands into his clay. It’s hard to be really good at something you have disdain for. But I always approached every case as if the paitent were a loved one. Jesus said treat your neighbor as you would yourself.
Although I’ve been called “The Greatest Guitarist in the World”, it never gave someone back their vision or allowed them to live without a cancerous tumor in their body.
It came at the sacrifice of fame and perhaps riches
King Solomon said all in life is vanity. (useless). I believe we’re all here for a reason. Perhaps King Solomon never helped someone walk again. He was speaking about his own personal pleasures. I feel that as much as I love playing music, I was tasked with helping people heal so they could help others. It came at the sacrifice of fame and perhaps riches. I never played music for fame or riches. I played because it made my parents happy. After they both died, I kept playing thinking it would make someone happy. But that was my plan not God’s. Who knows, maybe there’s a bigger stage in the next realm.  Maybe I’ll realize someday that Music is not that important.
 All my life I’ve wanted to be on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine.  But it seems that my greatest virtues will only make the “Tales from the Operating Room”.




(Dead at the age of 27)

Dear Politician,

I am a disabled vet. While I agree many people are easily addicted to pain medications, You CANNOT throw the baby out with the bath water.

Chronic Pain for inoperable conditions are the price middle class Baby Boomers are paying for building America.


X-Ray of rare rib invading nerve bundle

What used to take four 200 pound men to lift can now be done with robotics.  But from 1946 to the 21st century it wasn’t always like that.

It wasn’t until the 1990s that “Physiatry” became a respected semi-invasive discipline.

Because heavy lifting was required to build the infrastructure of our great State and Nation, a physiological price was paid. Spinal injury among others became as common as carpal tunnel syndrome.  Manual laborers were not required to wear back braces until the late 1980s.


Rare extra Rib on R-side of picture

Remedies for back injuries are a crap shoot at best.  It wasn’t until the 1990s that “Physiatry” became a respected semi-invasive discipline. Pain management is an answer but not a good one. Physiatry is the field of “curing successful neurosurgical” operations. Disc fusions and laminectomies often leave the patient in more pain from scar tissue than the original disc pathology.

Physiatry is the field of “curing successful neurosurgical” operations

Patients over dosing
Chronic pain treatment should only be made available after a psychiatric workup has been done on the patient. Pain pills are like bullets and pain treatment is very similar to the 2nd amendment. Patients taking narcotics need to be responsible. Pain pills don’t kill, irresponsible patients abusing them kill. For that matter; there are plenty of over the counter drugs that can kill legally if abused.

I’ve been suffering from an injury in 1996.  I responsibly went through pernicious radiological exams and MRIs that left me with few options.  The last thing a true  disabled chronic pain patient needs is more legislation that makes it difficult to attain something they don’t really want to take. After years of narcotic pain treatment (as well as multiple steroid injections)the pain management patient no longer experiences euphoria or a “high” from the medication. It only “Takes the edge off the sharp pain”.

After years of narcotic pain treatment

the pain management patient no longer experiences euphoria

The Answer
The answer is not passing legislation that handcuffs doctors that sincerely provide legitimate treatment. The think tanks must know that Chronic pain is a real problem that was a result of hard working Americans who built this country. (Not to mention soldiers told to follow orders) It needs to be understood that many Chronic pain patients retire in remote states because the cost of living is more affordable. (Than California or New York). Until a non-narcotic pill becomes available, there will be no pragmatic answer. I might add that it’s not the pills that kill as much as it is the pain. I can only imagine that those who overdose, do so because they cannot tolerate the pain. They don’t want to overdose, yet the pain is an ugly game changer.  I’m sure there are those that think pain pills are party favors like other recreational illegal drugs.  To the patient that needs a reliable form of pain relief; narcotics are currently the only proven form of practical relief. Again, it’s not a good option, but it’s the best. Sort of like our government.

Get the economy and GDP up and healthy people won’t have time to abuse drugs. As our economy declined, vices and crime have increased. If I were not disabled, I would be out camping on weekends or working on my car. Sadly, without pain management, the best I can do is lay flat on my back and try not to move.  Even with pain management, I’m restricted to what I can and can’t do.  I used to be able to coach baseball. I taught pitchers how to throw sliders. Today I can’t even play catch with my son.

Please don’t pass any laws that make it harder for patients in pain to get access to the medications that keep them somewhat mobile until science comes out with a pain reliever that is safe.

Albert Schweitzer wrote:

“We must all die. But that I can save him from days of torture, that is what I feel as my great and ever new privilege. Pain is a more terrible lord of mankind than even death itself”.

Conflict and Forgiveness


Matthew 18:21-35

 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.

 “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’ Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

 “But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.

 “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.

“When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘you evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.

 “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”


Matthew 5:39

“ If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also”.

Luke 23:34

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

What does it mean?

The first parable in Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus is saying that you’ve been given a great chance by the omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient God.  It asks the question, who are you to go out and NOT extend the same kindness to others.

In Matthew 5:39 Jesus is saying that if someone comes up to you and provokes you, let it go.  Sometimes, silence is a bolder response than a “smack down”.  God said that vengeance was His for a reason.

In Luke 23:34 Jesus had been tortured all night and hung on a cross to die.  The Roman guards were dividing up His belongings to put on EBAY.  (Or whatever the equivalent marketplace was at the time).  They probably knew what they were doing was evil, but like those who were drafted as Nazis, they did what they were ordered to do.  In retrospect, although they didn’t know what they were doing; it had to be done.  Just as Judas had to sell out Jesus; it had to be done.  It was the plan from the beginning. If Judas doesn’t sell out Jesus; it is NOT done.  If the Romans don’t crucify Christ; it is NOT done.  If it is not done; we do not have a path to salvation.

The most important point in this message is that we HAVE to forgive those who have offended us. I’ve written in the past that I don’t need to forgive a person if they don’t ask for forgiveness.  When you look at Christ being spit on and mocked with a crown of thorns, you have to ask: “Where did the Romans and Jews ask for forgiveness”?  The answer is, it doesn’t matter.

“That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” Jesus didn’t say from your “Lips”.  He meant, forgive them and turn it over to the Lord.  Vengeance is His.

The same applies for those you need forgiveness from. They may have you blocked on their cell phone or their Face Book account, but you can ask God to forgive the sin you remembered.  I know of a person I hurt badly and am lucky they didn’t come looking for me with a 9mm pistol.  I spent an hour or longer in my room alone trying to think of all the sins I know I blatantly committed so I could ask God for forgiveness.  It amazes me how I remember sins I committed as a child.  It makes me wonder how many I can’t remember or didn’t know that I had committed.

One person died that I was estranged from. Even before his death, I realized that he needed help and his actions, (the lies and let downs), were his shield in life.  It’s how he dealt with an unfair childhood.  Ironically, had I gotten a hold of him and told him that I forgave him, his response would have been: “For what?  I haven’t done anything wrong.”  Forgiveness is something that is expected of you, if you expect forgiveness when the party is over.  As for expecting forgiveness from others, Christ said to turn the other cheek and let it go.  (Note, Christ was not implying that you not defend yourself or your family) He was saying, let it go.  If you’ve forgiven the person for slapping you, you should be able to resist the provocation.

If you detect the feeling of “stubbornness” in your heart, you should make the effort to make things right. If you’ve cursed someone, (i.e., Go to Hell) understand that you are taking that curse to the grave with you.  At that point you truly need to appeal to God’s grace like the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35.

I once learned in an Alanon meeting that “Anger” is a poison that you ingest in hopes of making someone else die.  Therefore, I “try” to live by the creed of :

“Let go ~ Let God.”