God and Hard Times


Who am I to wonder where God is when I really need Him?  I pray daily.  Even if sometimes it’s just for the meal I’m about to eat.  I ask for forgiveness, Thank Him for the food and ask Him to bless it to the nourishment of my body, ask for blessed health and ask for financial opportunity in these troubled Obamanomics times.

We’ve all heard the expression: “It seems like my prayers don’t even make it to the ceiling”.

I feel that way now.  It’s been a LONG time since I’ve had that telepathic clairsentient message from God.  It’s been even longer since I’ve had that spontaneous answer to my prayer.  I’ve had prayers answered, PHYSICALLY, in less than 30 seconds.

When I was struggling and single, I had no bed to sleep on.  All I had was an old 6″ thick Futon to sleep on.  After a month of laying on this padding, I was waking to the 15th round of a fight with Mike Tyson every morning. I use to pray before I left my apartment every day.  One morning I prayed that God might bless me with a bed.  I was in so much pain from sleeping on this really bad futon it made prayer headlines (Front page, above the crease).  I got up off of my knees, went to leave out the front door and the apartment manager was there loading a fairly nice bed w/ box springs into a U-Haul trailer to take to the dump.  I said, I’ll take it. He was happy to dump it off on me.

30 seconds and my prayer is answered.

But what about Joseph? (Genesis 39:7-12)   God allows Joseph to suffer in prison for being righteous.  Joseph rejects Potiphar’s seductive wife and she got her vengeance by falsely accusing Joseph of raping her.

Joseph spends 8 years in prison for doing the right thing.  Of course the story has a happy ending (if you don’t mind spending 8 years in prison) as Joseph becomes the Prime Minister of Egypt. He uses his Clairvoyant talents to predict and help avoid the disastrous results of a draught in Egypt.

My point is this.  Stories like Joseph and Job are in the Bible to remind us that Life is not fair.  We have free will, but it’s only to show God where our heart’s lay.  We may think God is not fair.  Why make Abraham wait until he is 99 before he comes through on his promise to bless Sarah with a child?  Does that fall under the sense of humor category?

Sometimes God has blessed me when I didn’t deserve it.  Other times I’ve (Literally) shouted from a mountain top: “FATHER I NEED YOUR HELP”,  only to come down from the mountain to a phone call saying I was  being terminated. (After I had just saved a patent’s life)

The idea of God answering prayers stopped making sense to me several years ago.  Garth Brooks once said that the best prayers are the ones God doesn’t answer.  If that’s the case, I’ve got greatness coming my way.  I’m not comparing myself to Joseph, Job or Abraham, but I’ve asked and haven’t received in a long long long time.

Perhaps this is my challenge of attrition.  Things have seldom come easy for me.  I believe in God and The Son, Christ Jesus.  I believe the Holy Spirit can and has helped me.  I am a sinner and I’ve been a preacher;  But if You’re reading this Lord, I could use a blessing.

The Irony of Pleasing God


The Irony of Pleasing God
Don’t listen to the TV evangelist that says “Hey send God your money (to this address) and you’ll recieve blessing 10 fold.” ie, “Give to GET”. Let me point out a few observations.

1. In Genesis 4, “The Lord had regard for Abel and for his offering”. What was the next thing that happened to Abel? He died at the hands of his jealous brother Cain.

2. Genesis 39: Joseph denies Potopher’s wife. Keeping himself Holy and pleasing to the Lord. What happened? 9 to 13 years of Jail time.

3. Genesis 40: Joseph interprets the cup bearer’s dream. Result? 3 more years of Jail time.

4. Job . Need I say more?

The one lesson you can learn from the above examples is that life is not fair. Call it the price of free will. Yet we are still called to “give of our means”. It’s a demonstration of faith. Just don’t do it expecting a bountiful return on your investment. All things are from God. So you’re not really giving anything at all to God. You’re just giving back a portion of what He’s blessed you with. And I urge you to do so “cheerfully”.

Just don’t fall for the Media evangelist that’s selling you on a 1000% interest rate. This is probably the same evangelist that will sell you on salvation by repeating this simple prayer “insert the I believe prayer here” . Then go on with your sinful ways and claim that you’re “once saved and always saved”. Don’t fall for it.






Dear Parentless Child,

Understand that life on this planet can be long or prematurely terminated. If you can read this, you were not killed in the womb.  Remember that as you grow.  If your life was not taken in the womb, never consider taking another’s life in the womb.

Growing up in the fast lane is based on two principles.

1. You must know right from wrong and be brave enough to choose right even when wrong seems acceptable, more fun and is justified by society.  In the long term it’s this thought process that will indeed hurt you on this planet.  If you have trouble understanding right from wrong, seek a noble mentor.  If one is not available, read the New Testament Bible and try to emulate the life of Jesus.  Let the Jesus in the Holy Bible be your example of righteousness.

2.  You must try to understand Love. If you were born and grew up in an orphanage; it will be hard for you to understand unconditional Love. The most important form of love is the love you have for everything created by God.  God, the Creator of the Universe, Source Energy or your Higher Power is the one you will have to answer to in the end.  Don’t hold a grudge against God.  Your life will be full of obstacles.  Never forget that even the worst of the worst are still creatures of our God.  Show them love by wanting what is best for them.  Show them the best that you can give them.  The truth is that on this planet there is no “Us and Them”.  There is only us.

Story of the not so cute little kitten

I once had a pet kitten. There was something wrong with this creature.  It was not an easy pet to love.  It did not enjoy being held. It would hiss when touched.  It urinated on my coats and shirts that had fallen off their hangers.  I knew that had I taken this creature back to the place where I had adopted it; it would be put to sleep (death).  For ten years I put up with the damage and frustration this cat caused.  I got to a point where I was keeping it alive and feeding it just because it was the right thing to do.  That in its self was a form of the love I’m talking about.  Looking back, I believe this animal was put into my life as a lesson to see if I could love something that did not show love back.  It also showed me that I had a personal choice to get angry or just accept the situation and save myself the ulcer.  This is called Agape love. (Pronounced Ah-gah-pay).  It’s the most important type of love because it reflects on your ability to love, show compassion and mercy.  It’s the kind of love God has for his creation.

Human Nature

Humans that have offspring usually have a natural love for their creation. I would have said that this separates us from the animal kingdom but I’ve found that some humans can walk away from their children in a very animalistic fashion while at the same time a Mother Bear will protect her cubs with her last fighting breath.


A mother’s true love for her child is the Agape Love we should show for everyone. You may have heard the term: “He/She’s the type only a mother can love”.  You need to show that type of love for others while expecting nothing in return.  Your duty is your reward.  You showed love.  Even if the creature turns on you and kills you, you will have died proving your worthiness as a loving creature.  If you see someone hurting, do what you can to ease their pain.  If you see someone struggling, help them.


Life can get lonely. If you have no family it is better to stay within yourself than share your ignorance and desperaton with someone you find attractive.  I say “Ignorance” because if you haven’t figured out what your own faults, weaknesses and fears are, you will more than likely only be able to find a match that has the same issues that you have.  In short, my child, intimacy with another ignorant person will not solve the loneliness that stems from your “Ignorance”.  Keep in mind, highly educated individuals can be emotionally ignorant.  Love is not a quid pro quo arrangement.

Loneliness is never a good reason to seek company. Two ignorant people are worse than one.  When one sees enlightenment, often the other is no longer a match.  So in searching for a mate; become the person you want to meet first.  Likeness attracts likeness.  It’s simple physics.

When you strike a 512 Hz tuning fork, (concert C) if you hold another 512 tuning fork next to it, it will start vibrating without physical stimulation. If you hold a higher vibrating tuning fork like a 659 Hz (concert E) the fork will remain still. If you think substance abuse will solve your problems, you will probably find someone that tolerates substance abuse.  Abuse of anything is a form of ignorance. Don’t be ignorant.  Read! Watch personal Development videos! Talk to those who are perceived to have wisdom.  Go to personal growth seminars if you can afford it and believe the speaker is a person of wisdom.

Your body was created “naturally” with chemicals and organs designed to pro-create. (Meaning reproduce). Remember this when you engage in the act of sex.  Sex often leads to reproduction. It’s supposed to.  It’s always been my creed (when lucid) to avoid sex with someone I would not spend the rest of my life with.  You will find some that view sex as a sport, drug, distraction, affirmation or an intimate hand shake.  This thought process often leads to unwanted reproduction.  Unwanted reproduction is the road to the orphanage.  If you, my child, don’t want to put another human in the same shoes you were forced to wear; you will avoid sex without commitment.  Make love, not sex.  Sex without love is equivalent to substance abuse.  Don’t do it.  Love should be the: “Physical Manifestation of Spiritual Unity”.


You can only change the past by altering the future. Think hard about that.  If you go through life dwelling about how hard you had it growing up; remember that at some point you became responsible for your actions.  In most religions they talk about the “age of accountability”.  As far as the law is concerned, it differs in legal definition in different states.  In the absence of responsible guidance, this will take you longer.

*However; once you realize that your actions become your past, you can modify your future actions which will in time modify your past. Once you read this it will be in your past by the time you understand it. 

Remember you only have one chance to make a first impression. If you’ve based your life on right from wrong and let Love and Knowledge guide your behavior ,  you will not have to worry about how you come across to others.  (You shouldn’t anyway)  Be what you want to be then share your life with the like minded person you attracted.

Ace; Tell us how you really feel about Hillary

How do I really feel about Hillary?

I really feel that Obama hates police of any fashion and would rather spend the next 4 months in Martha’s vineyard playing golf and Hillary is her own favorite vegitable. She wouldn’t know the truth if it gave her husband a blow job. She has no morals or mores and will put up with her womanizing husband just for her own hubris. In all honesty her husband was a better president than Bush 43 & 41. But now that he’s not accountable, life is one big testosterone shot for the guy who’s gotten old and gray. I feel Trump is either the best thing to happen to America or the 2nd worst. (Obama with the help of George Soros without a doubt has done more to destroy America than anyone. At least Bubba balanced the budget (with the help of the 101st congress, you know, Newt Gengritch et al?) And he did make wealfare recipients accountable.

But even bubba let Osama Bin Laden go. He also signed into law the affordable housing act. Which lead to the 2008 crash once the greed generation got on wall street. As for Monica Lewinski? I really don’t care, but seriously; Is that the best he could do? At least the Kennedys had class. You can’t compare Norma Jean to Monica.

I think it takes an incredible amount of hubris to run for president. Hillary is running because she thinks she’ll get Bubba’s votes. Can you imagine the hubris it takes for both spouses to think they can run the country? But most voters were in grade school when William Jefferson weasiled his way into the White House like Bush 43. Only Bubba had the largest minority vote. (Not ethnic) All three candidates got less than 50% of the vote. THAT MINORITY.

In this situation, we know more about Donald than we did Buckwheat. He only got elected because the Bilderberg’s wanted him elected. America is the final trophy for the Bilderbergs. So far we’ve avoided the war the Bilderbergs had anticipated. The Bilderbergs have been running the country since Eisenhower left office. (With a short break when Reagan took office in the 80s which was the longest AND most prosperous peace time presicency ever.) And Reagan was shot….hmmmmm!

Bush 41 was the first to openly say: “New World Order”. (Global communism). Bubba signed not only the affordable housing act, BUT N.A.F.T.A. Which brought the rise of Walmart and the fall of mom and pop stores. (Taking the middle class American dream with them). In Bush’s last term he destroyed Detroit and Pittsburgh with regulations. (A Bilderberg move) as for Buckwheat; just look at our GDP for the last 7.8 years. The first thing the Buckwheat administration did in 2008 was to move the census bureau into the White House. (Giving him control of the nation’s demographics.) In other words, the position to manipulate economical reports. His unemployment rates are a hoax. The Fed considers you employed if you’re not filing unemployment claims. (Not taking into consideration those who are living in mom’s basement and can’t get unemployment anymore). So what the unemployment rate really represents are those filing unemployment claims divided by 330M. Not those who are unemployed. The real unemployment rate is somewhere between 15% and 20%.

Not to mention the under employed rate. (The result of Buckwheat care.) How many 40 hours jobs are now 29 hour work weeks? The final economic death nail in the coffin will come if this stupid $15.00/hour (for flipping burgers) min wage isn’t repealled. Teens will be stealing gas or gas money while college grads will be forced to flip burgers. See how far you’ll get with a liberal arts degree if you can make what a plumber makes by picking up trash. Instead of 2 teens getting employment and experience at 7.50/hour, one person who probably use to input data will now work twice as hard with “Robotic” burger flippers.

$15.00 an hour will put us on the road to singularity. (dependence on machines and computers). What used to take 4 big GM employees to put in a wind shield now takes one 104 pound female and a hydraulic arm. Sadly, I believe Obama has ruined us beyond kicking the can down the road. By creating the Federal Reserve Bank after WWI in 1919, and even worse, taking us off the Gold Standard in 1973; it put us in a situation where if the U.S. Dollar was the world’s reserve currency, and it was no longer based on the amount of Gold and Silver a country possessed; the only way we had to create wealth was by debt. Why do you think Buckwheat doubled the national debt in 8 years? He did in 8 years what 43 presidents wouldn’t do in 232 years. The scarey part is that Russia and China know that we have an idiot for a president. So China has been buying up Gold like it’s free. Are you getting the picture?

With China and Russia sharing the same Ideology and America raising spoonfed 30 year olds in momma’s basement use to getting $15.00 “Fiat” dollars an hour for wearing a hairnet and asking if you want fries with your 9 dollar big mac, what condition will the U.S. be in should their be a communist/Islamic invation? The only way for America to return to its glory days of the late 40s and 60s is for the big 3 to destroy one another. America defaults on its debt and manufacturing is brought back to what’s left of a nuclear ruined America and we go back to gold back currency, not fiat currency.

That’s what happens when you let 9 rich people in 1919 create a bank and call it “Federal Reserve” no different from “Federal Express”. Then make it illegal to own gold (Nixon in 73). It would have worked fine until we got megalomaniacs in power with a “ghetto mentality”. (“Hell we be Rich”)

You’re right Mr. Franklyn. Thank you for the republic you and our founding fathers gave us, but as you allured to; we couldn’t keep it.



It was Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton, it could have even been Gil Grissom that once said: “Once you look at something, you change it”.  I do know this for sure, once you look at something intensely; it changes you.

Unknown Emotions


11 years ago we adopted an orange tabby from the SPCA. Boy was he ever glad to be out of his kennel (The first day).  We took him home to a beautiful surroundings that had an upstairs and down stairs made for a wild mountain lion.

Upon the second night of getting familiar with the new kitten, he had changed. While this little 5 or 6 week old kitten was standing on the bathroom sink, I went to pick him up and “bond” with him.  He arched his little back like a Halloween cat and hissed like a Cobra.  He did the same to my wife.

We both stared at each other in disbelief.

If you adopt a pet from a rescue agency like animal control or the SPCA. Should you return the pet for “behavioral” issues; you are sending that pet to death row.  So being the responsible pet owners that we wanted to be, we kept hope that the kitten would change.  We figured a new environment would just take some getting used to.  One can surely hope can’t they?  He did warm up to my wife but only on his terms.

For 11 years, this animal was the “problem child”. Any other less responsible pet owner would have sent him back or as time went by, just had him euthanized.  We live in a culture that refers to “abortion” as “Having it taken care of”.  Your pet or baby becomes an “it”.  It’s so easy to just “Tap out”.

I considered the tabby my penitence. Sometimes God puts aggravation into your life to see how you will respond to it.  I can assure you that coming home from a long day on the road only to find that the Nike bag you left on your office floor got urinated on will test your will and emotional strength.  There were more than several times when one of us would say to the other, if you want to take him down and have him put to sleep, just  don’t tell me about it.  But for the reason of knowing right from wrong, putting up with this source of aggravation built a certain type of character.  I’ve never considered character an emotion, however; it did develop a certain hidden emotion.  Hate is an emotion.

The opposite of love is NOT hate; it’s indifference.   Sometimes indifference is a survival tool be it long term or situational.

Today; after 11 years of trying to show love for this difficult tabby, it came time to put him to sleep due to a terminal illness. This was the first euthanasia of a pet I had witnessed since I had to put “My Gool ol’ Max Dog” down 11 years ago.

That tore me up. In 2005 I had spontaneous crying attacks just driving down the road.  I would be in the shower and realize that my shadow of 9 years was gone and I would lean my head against the shower tile and cry.  I would see one of his favorite toys in “PetSmart” and get choked up.

Since then, my wife has taken our first two cats in by herself as I just couldn’t/wouldn’t do it. But for some reason, as much as I disliked this cat, I forced myself to treat it humane; I felt I had to be there for his last goodbye.

I don’t know if it was repressed and released memories of 2005 or perhaps a ball of anger, frustration and self-imposed control; but I started to tear up when I closed his eyes for the last time. I felt he needed someone to show him love one last time. This is the essence of true love.  It’s the principle of first century Christianity;  showing love to someone or thing that needs it regardless of your feelings for it.

Cat Christmas 009

It’s only human.

Fireworks and Veterans



Ironically, most Veterans would rather pass on the Fireworks aspect of Patriotism.


I was only in a life threatening situation once in my military career. My job was to keep Marines and Sailors alive.  But I recall the sound of what I thought was firecrackers.  Then M-80s.  Then I heard a whistle by my ear.  I yelled to my fellow NCO: “Get Down” he was my senior officer but green to bullet fire.  He hadn’t heard the bullet and still thought it was firecrackers.

It’s a natural tendency to evaluate the situation and look for cover. (After you drop to the ground of course.)

Years later when I was into mountain biking; I would ride in the hills above a lake I lived by. It was the second or third trip to the top of the mountain which had a gun range on it. It was the first time I had heard gun fire since my time in the service and it gave me a churning feeling in my stomach that made me want to stop and throw up.  I stopped and just evaluated the situation.  It took a while to recall that a gun club was at the top of the hill along with campgrounds.

Keep in mind, I’ve held someone else’s leg in my hand.  I’ve held their eye (separated from their head) in my hand. These are memories you can’t un-see.  I’ve been bathed in blood and purulent excretions. (Pus). But fire crackers still send chills down my spine.

I’m honored by those who get enjoyment out of watching explosion in the sky aka “The Rockets’ Red glare. Some which sound amazingly like in coming.  Personally, on the night of July 4th, I enjoy turning up the television.  All I can ask is if you have a young returning Veteran in your neighborhood that has seen action, hold your fireworks display someplace else should you wish to be thoughtful.



In CHINA, It’s the 4th of July; In The U.S. it’s INDEPENDENCE DAY

(One of my first blog entries from 2005)

Moon Flag and Earth

I’ve finally reached the end of my rope with Americans that don’t respect their country. And I know they mean well, but damn it, Today is “Independece Day”. The 4th of July is just a day on the calender. Independence Day should make you reflect on the sacrifices of the “MinuteMen” and “The Sons of The American Revolution” . It should make you think about the courage of the George Washingtons, Thomas Jeffersons and Nathan Hale. Nathan Hale was barely 21 when he chose death over selling out his country. He was hung as a spy for the “Colonists”.Today is a day many will appreciate as a 3rd day of a 3 day week end. Barbeque sales will be at their peak today. Many pre-schoolers will associate the term “Independent Day” with ID4. The Will Smith movie where we defend our planet from Aleins. In a sad way, it seems that Hollywood wants to overlook the essence of the real “Independence Day” and replace it with a “New World Order”  day.

Today please remember; “Freedom is not free”. A price was paid for our autonomy. The willingness to FIGHT for our freedom was the cost of freedom. Those who risked their lifes and those who sacificed their lifes; paid the price of freedom.

If you can put down your bottle rockets, or your barbequed chicken wing long enough to reflect back on the Love and sacrifice that was shown for Liberty, you will indeed be glorifying the true meaning of Independence Day.

Duane Merrells walks with an upside down flag in a protest Monday, Aug. 18, 2014, for Michael Brown, who was killed by a police officer Aug. 9 in Ferguson, Mo. Brown's shooting has sparked more than a week of protests, riots and looting in the St. Louis suburb. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

update July 4th 2016
We are currently in 1776 again.  Only this time King George is King Obama.  Obama and his minions have tried to dismantle the United States without it looking like a full government takeover.  Example?  When ISIS Terrorists where killing our allies in places like Belgium and France.  Obama was laughing, drinking a cold one while watching a baseball game in CUBA.  Yes COMMUNIST CUBA,  WITH THE CASTROS.  My only complaint is that he wasn’t detained.  I wonder if America would have tried to get him back?  Or at least put as much effort into getting him back like he did our Marines being held by Mexico (for making a wrong turn).  While we can’t send illegals back fast enough.  We are being invaded from the south  as are our European counterparts.
On this Independence Day live each day as it could be your last day of Freedom.  Yes I know Alex Jones could argue that we are not Free and I he wouldn’t get Much of an argument from me.  I served my country in 1973 and heard the bullet fly by my head.   I’ll repeat.  Freedom is not Free.  The Terrorists of Orlando and San Bernardino could be coming to your town next.
On this Independence Day live each day as it could be your last day of Freedom
A lot of college students and Star War fans will have to grow up quickly should we be “Occupied” by China or Russia with the backing of Radical Islam.  Living will be prioritized properly behind defeating our enemy.  What wins wars is believing in the reason you’re fighting.  I want my children to have a better life than I had.  They’ve survived 7.5 years of Obama.  Obama was a high level infil-traitor.  Yes I spelled it that way on purpose.  It’s Hillary Clinton’s mission to try and finish off America.  She will try to weaken America defensively as she so successfully did in Benghazi.  It’s our mission as Americans to resist. 

Father’s Day


One thing I’ve learned is that “procreation” in its self does not make you a father. (Or mother). Judging your parents is purely subjective and wrong for anyone to expect their parents to be the Cleavers.

One thing I’ve learned is that as we grow, it takes at least 35 years before you begin to understand what being a good human is all about. Once you stop listening to television or your friends and start listening to that inner voice, only then can you change your own character. It never happens overnight no matter what kind of epiphany you’ve had.

The best you can hope for is to understand what made your parents tick. Once you do that, you can get Freud out of your head and take responsibility for your actions and become accountable. At that point you can let go of the past. Only then can you start your journey to becoming the best version of yourself, which, in the end, is all you can hope to do.

Giving birth to a healthy child is the best you can do as a parent. (Meaning not giving birth to a Crack/alcohol addicted infant). How they are raised is all gravy. Keep in mind how you prioritized your children in your life will surely reflect on you on judgment day. I would think that “Loving your children” would have more meaning than “Love thy neighbor”.

Tales from the O.R. Vol 8 Fount of Youth


The Fountain of Youth

I worked in Eye surgery a lot at one point in my life. Which means I’ve helped in my share of Cataract extractions.  For those of you who do not know what Cataracts are: It’s when your lens in your eye turns cloudy.  Your lens is inside a capsule in the center of your eye.  It’s the part of your eye that flashes red in a picture.

One morning we had Mr. Wong (fake name) but this was one of those cases when I looked at Mr. Wong before putting the sterile drape on his face and I really wanted to know what the operative permit said. Cataracts hit most people around the age of 60.  Mr. Wong looked like he was in his late 40s or early 50s.  He looked really too young to be there for a lens replacement.

Once we settled things down I asked Mr. Wong: “What do you do to stay so young looking”? Seriously I thought we had the wrong Wong.

His reply was short and simple. He said: “I have a special piece of ginger root sent to me from China.  I let it soak for 6 months in Cognac and every day I drink a shot and walk around the Lake”.

My last words to Mr. Wong were: “I hope I look as good as you when I’m 80”.  I went to the health food store the next day and started studying the pharmacological benefits of Ginger.

Sadly, I quit drinking 4 years ago.