NO PITY FOR SUICIDE

DB 

Shepherd Smith of Fox News is not the first person to call suicide a cowardly act.  From the survivors point of view; it’s like taking your ball and going home.  On the other hand, I wonder how many Congressional medals of Honor have been awarded posthumously to the brave Marine that threw his body on a grenade to keep the rest of his squad from being killed by shrapnel.  So those who can’t cope with the pressures of life are cowards, and those who “Take one for the team” are heroes.  The difference is one is a sacrifice for the greater good and the other is an inability to deal with the greater “whatever”.

 

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES  

 

When a person gets to the point of saying “screw it all”; all they can see is the pain that they are trying to escape.  They think they’re a loser because they might not be able to afford a new IPhone for their child because they just got laid off.  But what will happen when you cut your wrist and little Billy comes home from school and finds his deceased father on the couch and his blood soaked through the carpet?  Do you think that image is ever going to leave little Billy’s memory?  I know what it’s like to have to move a dead body.  I couldn’t kill myself because I wouldn’t want to be a burden on the EMTs let alone the poor person who found me.  They have to roll the body to one side and slide a body bag under half the body, then roll the other side up to put the other half of the body in the bag.  Sometimes (for those who need to go out using drama and a gun) they have to gather what’s left of your head and keep it with the body.  I just couldn’t do it.

 

A lot of people truly are cowards that go out by using someone else.  For example “Suicide by cop”.  If you walk into a police station with a weapon drawn and you get taken out; you’ve put the guilt of your death on the cop who dropped you.  Or let’s say you get dramatic and you take a hostage. (That’s sure to get a sniper’s attention) You’ve ruined the life of the sniper and the hostage (Not to mention those who were around the scene at the time of the shooting).

Some people take others with them. 

 

A lot of people think that driving into an oncoming MAC truck is an easy way out.  What about the truck driver?  He’s going to slam the brakes on and possibly rupture his spleen. He might even flatten the Prius that was behind you.

 

Then there’s the insurance.  Most life insurances do not cover suicide.  So you’ve just left a huge financial mess for your beloved survivors to deal with.  But the troubled mind doesn’t think of that and if they do; it only makes them feel like more of a loser.

 

I was shocked when people thought the pilot of the Malaysian 777 flight that disappeared committed suicide taking 300 people with him.  That’s not only suicide but homicide.  What bothers me is that we, as a culture, have become so desensitized to the horror of murder that we don’t see it for the terrible “sin” that it truly is.  We are all related to one another.  What happens to one, in some way affects us all.  The television stations have no problems showing dead humans on the tube.  In the past the FCC would never allow it.  Now with You Tube you can go on the net and watch human decapitations.  Just as watching pornography takes the beauty and romance out of sex, seeing a life being taken takes a bit of the value and respect out of living.

 

Everything happens for a reason.  I don’t believe in coincidence.  I believe we are all given the gift of free will and a brain.  How we choose to use it will reflect on where we end up 100 years from now.  I’m not claiming that good people will have it better than bad people.  But what we do in the here and now has consequences.  Yes Sir Newton, for every action there is a reaction or even worse; a chain reaction.

 

Suicide answers nothing but causes a lot of pain and grief for those whom you didn’t intend to inflict it on.  It’s my belief that God will reward you for allowing Him to use you.  If you use your free will to “check out” before your time, I would be afraid of the consequences in the next place.

EVERYTHING HAS A CONSEQUENCE.

 

The oxygen you breathe turns to Carbon Dioxide.   That casual sarcastic insult can change a peaceful person into a potential killer.  Taking your own life is killing something that may or may not belong to you.  If the consequence is not served in this realm of reality, fear the possibility of the consequence in the future spiritual realm.

 

TIN FOIL MAD HATTERS

Russia_Meteor_explosion

Meteor over Russia 2013

Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.  Every now and then I like to check in with my Astrophysicists friends to see how much longer we have to live.  Or to put it in a more optimistic way; How much more of Obama do we have to put up with.

Sadly, the fact that Obama seems to not give a shit about anything could mean he knows something that we don’t.  Astronomers who buy into the planet X or Nibiru concept are saying that the reason we’re seeing such an increase in earth quakes, Hurricanes and especially meteors is because a planet 4 times the size of Jupiter is in between the Earth and the Sun.  The Video below predicts a passing of Nibiru, (which the Egyptians use to call: “The Destructor”)  is due to pass Earth sometime around August 2014.  HEY WAIT………… uh oh.  Why’ll watching the video, take my “Zeta” friend with a grain of NaCl.  I know, I know he claims to be in telepathic communications with the “Zetas” or the “Gray Aliens”.  But he does bring up some great thought provoking Ideas.  George Noory puts up with him so I guess I can. Enjoy.

Like Marshall Masterson says: “See ya on the back side”

ARE YOU IN THE NEXT FERGUSON?

Negative

This article will not reference any minorities 

I had never even heard of Ferguson, Misery, I’m sorry Missouri.  In fact having toured the entire U.S. and Canada, I would say without a doubt that besides Birmingham Alabama, St. Louis is the last city I would want to be stuck in.  Yes, John, I’d rather be stuck in Lodi.

I would have to say that most of my really smart friends are physicians.(As in MDs) and I’ve actually heard this phrase more than once. “I’m having a hard time understanding that culture”.  To be honest I can’t recall the last time the National Guard was called out to deal with angry Caucasians.  When reporters covering the “looting” in Ferguson talk about the National Guard, they immediately reference the riots in Watts.  (Los Angeles).  Does anyone recall the Riots in that same city in1992?  I think Reginald Denny, an innocent white truck driver is still looking for parts of his brain or grey matter on the corner of Florence and Normandy.

What was scary about the 1992 Riots were that we saw miniature copycat riots pop up all across the country.  Hell even Toronto had riots in the street. Another scary thing to remember about the 92 L.A. riots were that people “Thought” they were rioting with impunity.  People with color TVs over their shoulders were giving interviews to KABC and saying Hi mom.  Some of them even introduce themselves and said what part of L.A. they were from.  When asked by intrepid reporters: “Don’t you know what you’re doing is wrong”?  The looters, (almost all of them) would counter: “Why not? It’s Free”!

What we see happening in Ferguson MO is not a result of a Massive child the size of a door frame getting shot by a policeman, but a result of 6 years of false empowerment.  We remember the oxy moronic statement: “I don’t know the facts, but the Cambridge Police acted stupidly”.  Mr. President, if you didn’t know the facts how can you determine that the Police acted stupidly unless you have an inherent hate for the police?  We see “Flash Mobs” where a certain composition goes on an organized, premeditated “looting spree”.

Cities with a particular composition will be rioting this weak end.  I am afraid this might be the spark that has lit the fuse. Yes I believe the fuse was lit six years ago.  Let us all pray this administration doesn’t rush to martial law.  And please note that throughout this article I only referenced one ethnicity.

Caucasians.

 

 

 

HOW TO SCORE A HOT DATE

 

 BFWHM

This is a True Story ~ Operation Queen Bee

(The names have been changed to protect me)

Oh and none of the pics are of people in the real story.

 

I’ll tell you a cool short story and hopefully it will change your life.  I’ll keep the locations and characters fictitious because it’s an ugly story of a cruel person with beautiful looks that treated her ex like shit and was on the road to being an upper scale trophy wife/home wrecker.  If you (home wrecker) are reading this. (I can’t even remember your name) you know who you are.  BUT my plan worked.  Also remember, I’m an old fashion romancer.  I open doors for ladies.  I pull out their chairs in restaurants and I pick up the tab.

 Hot

BREEZER: Definition – The person that never has to ask someone if they will go out on a date.  Only concern is which suitor to say yes to and which ones to turn down.

(Ace’s dictionary)

 

Years ago in a land before 9/11; I was at a new place of employment.  This place had one beautiful female who worked there three times a week.  I could tell she knew she was the queen of the office and it was common knowledge that she was having an affair with one of the big hitters that ran the place. We’ll call him Mr. Money bags.

 

When speaking to a male co-worker; he told me, ah forget about her, she’s having an affair with Mr. Money Bags.  You don’t stand a chance with her.  Now I’m no Rob Lowe but I took that as a challenge and I said: “Billy, I’ll bet you a six pack of Heinekens (It was that long ago) that in six months I’ll have her flirting/begging for ME.  He took the deal and six months later I took his beer.

So what was my plan?  How did I get the hottest chick (I only use the term “chick” because this article will be filed under “Hot chicks”)?  It was simple.

I ignored this person.

Not in a rude way, but in a “I don’t find you attractive” way. I could see that this person, in spite of being a breezer, was insecure.  “Look at me.  Look at how pretty I am” (I’m sorry, hot) Look at how hot I am”.  I would act like a gentleman.  I would joke with my close co-workers, but when she came around, I would pretend to be serious and professional.

In three months I was getting back rubs from this person and I use to joke with her about her sexually harassing me.  You have to make it clear that you’re heterosexual.  Otherwise, they will think that you must be gay not to be attracted to them.  (Especially since I worked around a lot of alternative lifestyle co-workers)  So it’s important that they hear you say something of this nature, (And I think this was the bomb that hit the target) I said: “His wife is Hot”.  I was referring to a famous person we had in the office.  I wish I could tell you who the person was because good lord was I putting moves on this guy’s wife before I knew it was his wife.  I think that pissed the queen bee off as well.

Three or four months of not engaging in conversation other than “How do you do” or “Have a nice weekend” I started to see her hanging around my door.  She was asking me questions like “What are you doing”? “What kind of project are you working on”? Then when she heard Mr. Money Bags walk into the building, she would quickly say: “Gotta go, nice talking to you”. (As if she got a certain excitement out of it)  I would reply: “Yeah, yeah, yeah”. After she left I would smile to myself.

trout

It was almost like watching a trout bump the bait with his nose.

(Do fish have noses)?

Fast forward two months, her actions were becoming so pretentious and obvious that Billy paid up one morning.  I wasn’t even expecting it but he had seen the escapades.  He said I don’t know how you did it.  I replied, Billy, insecure people are never happy with what they have.  They always want what they can’t have.  If you’re used to getting your way and someone ignores you, deep inside, your ego is saying: “But how come this person doesn’t want me”?  It had gotten so obvious that Mr. Money Bags didn’t want me around.  He saw me as a threat to his “fun on the side”. (And I was single).

Now for the ugly part. I didn’t know it, but I knew her ex-husband.  I didn’t know it until I had been playing this game for about 4 months.  But her husband had been a friend of mine from my military days.  He was a good looking guy but he was a NICE guy.  I can’t help but think that his niceness repulsed this person.  It’s not uncommon for breezers to resent people that respect them.  But this repulsed me quite a bit.  Any thoughts of wanting to do anything outside of the office with this female made my stomach hurt.  Mainly because I could see myself as her ex-husband.

 Tory Burch

About 8 months into operation Queen Bee, we contracted with a female Ms. Money bags/Queen bee.  She was married and I respected that, but I would flirt sarcastically with her and she would flirt back.  This really lit the fuse with the Home wrecking Queen Bee so much that she tried to get me fired. I think they refer to this as the: “If I can’t have you, nobody can” mentality.  So the office had turned into one huge social battlefield.

 Krawcheck2

So what’s the moral of this sad story? 

Sometimes experience can save you from becoming someone’s disposable partner.  Some people are so insecure even when it seems they have everything going for them.  But as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes: “It’s better to appreciate what you have than to worry about that which you don’t”.  Just look around at how many people aren’t happy unless they have someone else to worry about.  (As in the Queen Bee).  This defines Groucho Marx’s joke when he said: “I would never want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member”.

In Closing

Sadly, an old friend who use to confide everything in me was cheating on his wife.  They were both my friends.  After their divorce, the wife stopped by my house after I had gotten married and said: “He was much happier and fun to be around when he had a girlfriend on the side”.  But little did he realize how his actions had a chain reaction of unintended consequences.  That’s the problem of thinking you can have your cake and eat it too.  People are not cars you can trade in for the “upgraded” new model.  Personally, I love my 30 year old Porsche and would never sell it for a brand new McLaren.

 E Nikon 025

Life is not a beauty contest and not all beauty is physical.

Bacall, Robin and Suicide

Bacall Robin W Duel

LAUREN BACALL

Being the Casablanca fan that I am, I wanted to remind the masses (The 1% of the smartest population that read my writings) That Lauren Bacall (Born Betty Joan Perske)  died as well on August 12th 2014.  Lauren Bacall was a teen model that was highly sought after in Hollywood.  Much to her unfairness, she is mostly known as Bacall, as in; Bogie and Bacall.  Lauren was what I describe as a “breezer”.  She was born beautiful and that in its’ self will open many doors for you. You will never have to ask someone for a date, just decide who to say yes to.

BB2 Key

She was cast in the role of Humphrey Bogart’s leading lady in the 1944 film “To have and to have not”.  During the filming of the movie, Bogart who was in a miserable relationship with his third wife Mayo Methot, began seeing Lauren discreetly. If you read the last article on infidelity, you read that at the same time Bogart was filming with Lauren Bacall  (Who was 19 years old while Bogie was 44) Bogie was having an affair with Verita Thompson.

 B and B wedding To have

On a side note, the director of “To have and have not”. Howard Hawks, (also married) became quite fond of Ms. Bacall as well and was envious, even jealous of the Bogie/Bacall relationship.  He went so far as to threaten to send Bacall to Monogram which was the worst studio in Hollywood.  Eventually Jack Warner stepped in and settled things.  12 days after Bogie’s divorce to Maya Methot was final, Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart were united in Holy Matrimony.  Bogie would continue his relationship/affair with Verita Thompson.

Robin RS 

ROBIN WILLIAMS

I never met Robin Williams but we had the same acting instructor.  Pat Lusk taught night classes in the San Francisco East Bay’s  “Chabot College” and also at “The College of Marin”.  Most of us knew of Robin long before his HBO special and long before he played Mork on the hit TV show “Mork and Mindy”.  I had seen Robin perform at the Warfield theater on a special bootleg video.  Robin was to comedy as Jimi Hendrix was to guitarists.  He changed the nature of the genre forever.  Nobody has come close to Robin’s raw talent and Nobody will for a long time.

Robin on stage

Having seen Robin’s performance, one night when asked to do “Improvisation” I stole some of Robin Williams’ shtick.   My acting in instructor said after my outrageously destructive “Manic” act, “Mr. Andres, there is only one Robin Williams and he’s beat you to that performance”.   This is when she let on that Robin was a student of hers at the College of Marin.  I might add that she said that as talented as Robin was, he had a great dislike for Shakespeare.  In his HBO special which launched him worldwide, he mocks Shakespeare with a line where he says: “Look, the moon like a testicle hangs low in the sky”.

 sanfrancisco

Robin use to enjoy the Philly Cheese Steak sandwiches at the original Bay Area “Philly Cheese steak Shop” On Divisadero Street in San Francisco.  The staff that worked there said Robin use to come in on Wednesdays and was just another guy.

I won’t go into the disappointment phase of Robin’s life.  You can read about his affair and his reaction to his first movie (Popeye) in the National Enquirer.  One observation that I will confirm is that Robin was openly accused (in the bay area) as being addicted to Cocaine.  This came as no surprise to anyone who ever saw Robin either acting or on the sidewalk.  Making people laugh just came natural to Robin.

Pag

Robin was a 21st century Pagliacci.  Pagliacci was an Opera that premiered in 1892 and was the inspiration for Smoky Robinson’s “The Tears of a Clown” I apologize if this analogy is being overused.

 

SUICIDE

I’ll keep my thoughts on the subject brief as I am not a Psychiatrist and if anyone is reading this is considering the topic, please talk to someone.  Do not feel embarrassed.  A poll was taken of Suicide survivors and over 90% of them said that once they had “Jumped” or “ingested the overdose” they realized that the problems they faced were all fixable.  I don’t know what that means, so take it for what it’s worth.

I will not judge those who attempt suicide.  It’s like a black man telling a white affluent man that he can’t talk about what life in the ghetto is like.  Until you’ve been on the verge of wanting to end your life, you are not qualified to judge others.  When I heard Shepherd Smith remark that Robin Williams’ suicide was an act of a coward, it made me quite angry.  This is a definition of Suicide that you can take to the bank:

“Suicide is a result of life’s demands outweighing one’s ability to COPE with them”.

 

All of us deal with stress and depression by using some form of a “coping mechanism”.  Some use alcohol, others drugs, others sex, many television and some just sleep.  When I was 16, my mother had died 5 years earlier.  I was different from the other kids in school that had moms that made their lunch and went to PTA meetings and helped them with their homework.  Living with my father was like living with a stock broker that couldn’t be disturbed.  He and I had almost nothing in common except baseball.  I use to engage in Television as my coping mechanism.

S&J AKA

One of my favorite TV Shows in 1971 was a Western called “Alias Smith and Jones”.  It was about two former Bank Robbers trying to go straight.  The main actors were Ben Murphy (Jones) and Peter Duel (Smith) On December 31st 1971, Peter Duel was found dead as a result of gunshot wound to the head.  It was determined to be a self-inflicted wound as Duel’s girlfriend saw him take his gun from the Bedroom and later was awakened by the gun shots.  I was shaken by this.  Having lost my mother (and the rest of my family which went their separate ways) I began to think if ending my life was a possible answer to my misery.

Duel

I was lucky to have a friend in High School that I ate lunch with every day and I was asking him questions about suicide.  One day he said to me: “You’re not considering suicide are you”? And I stuttered in shame and said: “Oh no, I’m just thinking about Peter Duel’s death”.   There would be other times when the thought crossed my mind, but I guess my attitude was one of apathy.  It’s funny because in his special, “The making of a dummy” ventriloquist Jeff Dunham mentions the same line I told my counselor.  I wouldn’t kill myself (Too many unintended consequences) but if I was in a plane that crashed or was diagnosed with a terminal illness ~ Oh well……

 

My advice to those contemplating suicide would be this.  Life may suck now, but sometimes, and for reasons you can’t explain, life changes.  It’s like sitting in a baseball stadium and out of 40,000 fans, a foul ball comes to your box seat.  You don’t know why it came to you out of 40,000 seats.  In life; Good things and bad things happen.  Bad things happen to really good people and often, those who deserve prison end up winning law suits or the lottery.  Life is not fair.  But when you decide to end your own life, you eliminate the chances of something really good coming your way.  Why would you want to do that?

We’re only here on this spinning blue ball for a very short time (relatively speaking).  Go with it and see what happens.  Plus who’s to say that suicide is guaranteed to cut your chains of bondage?

 

“Go through life EXPECTING good things to happen to you”. 

 

WHY LOVERS CHEAT

couple 

 We don’t want what we don’t have; rather that which we can’t have. ~ Ace Andres

 

In 1994 Robert Wright wrote a profound book called: “The Moral Animal”..  The book’s premise was: “Man was meant to fall in love, but not designed to stay in love.  I would recommend the book but Wright uses Darwinism way too much for my recommendation.  But if you sift through the theories of “Sexual Dimorphisms”, there are some thought provoking pearls.  By the way, Dimorphism is a theory that species which have more physical parody in the sexes is similar to their desire for a non-monogamous relationship.  For example, Apes are at the top of the mammal spectrum when it comes to the difference in size of the average male and average female.  On the far right side of the spectrum you have little Gibbon’s monkeys.  They are identical in the size of the male and female and subsequently are monogamous.  This is where the meat of Sexual Dimorphism lays.

Apes Gobbons

In the late 80s or early 90s when the term Supermodel was first coined, I asked myself an honest question: “If you could have anyone you chose as a mate/spouse; who would you pick”?  My answer was not what I wanted to hear.  In the late 70s Woody Allen wrote the movie Annie Hall.  In the movie he quotes Groucho Marx’s great line: “I would never want to be in a club that would have me as a member”.  As funny and self-deprecating as the joke is, it does tragically touch on the root of man’s (the human race) desire for infidelity.  That would be simply, insecurity.

 cheaters

So who would I have wanted back in 1991 if I had the pick of the universe?  I was honest enough to understand that if I chose Cindy Crawford, I knew deep in my heart, that it wouldn’t be long before I would want Gina Lee Nolan.  If by chance I had Gina Lee also, I would then want Elle MacPherson, and so on then so on.  This brings us back to Robert Wright.

CC GLN

Elle     RW

Wright uses Darwinism to suggest that “Man” (The male sex) has an inherent need to spread the seeds of his DNA in multiple partners for the survival of the name.  Woman on the other hand, pretty much is always on the lookout for the BBD or Bigger, Better, Deal.  In this case Wright is talking about the ability to provide and in certain cases the ability to protect.  Even if it means “sharing” her mate with another female.  (See Mormon wives)

 My-Five-Wives

TV show “My five Wives”

Infidelity is far from a new activity.  In the Old Testament, King David, the child that killed the Giant “Goliath”, The Man after God’s heart took one of his military officers’ wife and banged her while her hubby “Uriah” was at war with the Philistines.  It’s all in 2nd Samuel chapter 11.  Now being a male I have to try to defend the adulterer and give the excuse many bible scholars use.

 david-and-bathsheba-26

When David brought the “Arch of the covenant” into Jerusalem, he was dancing like a hippie at a grateful dead concert.  Upon entering his kingdom, his better half told him that he looked like a Jack Ass dancing in the street.  I can only imagine the scene of Elaine from Seinfeld dancing at the office holiday party.  The Bible scholars say this stuck in King David’s ego and when he had sex with Bathsheba, it was an act of retribution.  Personally, I think David did it because Bathsheba was hot and he could.  And to quote Mel Brooks: “It’s good to be King”.  I do feel that it is my Christian duty to say that the king’s actions did not go unpunished.

 Newborn

I believe that we fall in love because the feeling of affection is our first conscious positive human emotion.  So we have been hard wired to “want” unconditional love.  So once we find it; why are we not content with the source of our affection?  Setting Darwin aside; I think men and women always have that unfulfilled question of: “Could I have done better”?  Is “Spirituality” the bond that keeps a couple together till death do they part?

AF4s

If King David (A man after God’s heart) could not resist the temptations of the flesh, how is Joe Lunch Bucket supposed to fight the urge when the opposite sex is practically “presenting” in a nature like fashion?  I firmly believe that we bring it on ourselves, (subconsciously).  I’ve actually had to say: “I’m happily married”.  I would be lying if I said it was easy to say.  But knowing the principle of cause and effect, it didn’t take me long to come to that conclusion.  Maybe that’s it?

Wynona

Perhaps the potential cheater wants to see if they can “get away with it”?  Many shop lifters do it for the thrill of “getting away with it”.  Look at Winona Ryder.  She could have bought the stores that she shop lifted from, yet she did it anyway.  I think deep inside, they want to get caught.  It goes back to negative attention you got when you cried as an infant.

 R B

Some of the things that amaze me about infidelity are people’s attitudes towards the cheater.  I read an interview in the late 70s with one of Rod Stewarts beautiful ex-wives (I guess that’s redundant isn’t it)? Whom said: “I couldn’t respect Rod if I could trust him”.  HUH?

Liz

That brings up another question that is just as absurd.  Why would Hugh Grant, (an attractive actor) who was cohabitating at the time with the unbelievably gorgeous actress Elizabeth Hurley get caught on the Strip in Hollywood receiving oral sex from the prostitute “Devine Brown” I’m unable to confirm DB’s true gender?  Could I cheat on Elizabeth Hurley? Maybe but not with Devine Brown. No, Never, not even upon pain of death.

tranny

 

 

Hollywood

Hollywood couples are like coupons, they should come with an expiration date on them.  Why is it that an actor or musician can’t be truly monogamous?  I think I can understand it the first time around.  Once you’ve attained fame, that’s a hard thing for your partner to deal with.  The same partner that’s been with you for years is now that person in the background.  With few exceptions like Rhea Pearlman and Danny DeVito.  It seems like once you make it in La-La, you’ll be divorced and married to the person that was your leading co-star in your break through film.  You wouldn’t believe how many people I THOUGHT were married once that are Hollywood stars that had a secret first spouse. For example, I thought Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson were a first time couple.  Nope!  Tom apparently was married prior to his fame and left his former wife along with his former obscure life.

 B B

I can remember the first time I ever heard that Bogie had a mistress.  It was in 1982 and I was watching a documentary on Humphrey Bogart.  (As you can tell by the name of this magazine, I’m a Bogie fan.  Although married four times, most recently to Lauren Bacall (1945-1957).  He had an affair with the former actress/wig maker named Verita Thompson for 13 years, whom Bogart had on his staff as a secretary.  When seen by the press leaving the airport, Bogie use to joke about how he and his mistress had to leave.  Everyone thought Bogart was joking including Mrs. Bogart who would have the mistress over for dinner many times, and even talk to on a daily basis while Bogart was on set.

 Verita  B V

What I find interesting about the Thompson/Bogart affair is that Bogie started his relationship with Thompson while married to his third wife Mayo Methot.  During that time the secret affair was kept silent while Bogart married Lauren Bacall.  Thompson claimed to be upset when 12 days after Bogie’s divorce from Methot was final, he married Lauren Bacall.

 

Remember this was in 1945.  Morals were not as they are today.  There were no Brad, Jennifer and Angelinas in the public’s eye.  Talk of an affair could ruin an actor’s career. In Bogart and Thompson’s situation, Thompson was married to a film technician named Robert Peterson.

 

But today, once you make it in Hollywood, people throw themselves at you.  The successful one needs to remember that there are two types of people in Hollywood. Those trying to be discovered.  And those trying to marry into money.  I’m not saying that those trying to marry into money have a premeditated plan to take the money and house via divorce, but it does happen.

cubicle1  Corner Office

Finding success in the public’s eye is like getting rid of the cubicle and getting a corner office with a big oak desk.  Consider the corner office the new partner and the old cubicle the person you left for the corner office.  And many times I can understand why a person would divorce their former spouse.

 Mel

I do not condone divorce, but I use the term understand.  If your spouse of 15 years is telling you that you’ll never make it, and your ship finally comes in, what loyalty do you owe the non-believer that you supported?  I’ll bet if you asked the typical Kevin Costner type actor why they got divorced, somewhere in there you’re going find that the seeds of the divorce were sowed long before success came.  I would go so far as to say that success came in spite of the marriage.  Occasionally you’ll find someone that gets the moniker as Hollywood’s family man.  Mel Gibson was the last star to occupy the throne.  But in 2011 he got divorced and now has a “Partner”.

Why do people cheat?  The answers are as plentiful as what is for lunch.  They say: “Variety is like a buffet of life” Yet we all know what happens to the food once the fire is gone from the buffet table.  Sometimes the one night stand can save a marriage.  Sometimes a 13 year affair can save a marriage.  Did Bogart not love Lauren Bacall from 1945 till his death in 1957, I believe he did.  Did he love Verita Thompson/Peterson?  I doubt it.  If he did, he would have married her once his divorce to Methot was final.

Often we see public couples and even our friends get divorced or their affairs are not so secret. Every case is different but all of them are none of our business.  If your friend is having an affair and comes to you for advice, I would say that is between them and their current spouse or partner.  If you do encourage one action or the other, you then become a part of the problem.

If you’re reading this and you’re in an affair or considering an affair, I would tell you to ask yourself WHY would you want to ruin someone else’s life?  If you’re married and they’re single, are you just using them?  If you’re single and they’re married, are you a home wrecker?  If the marriage is rocky and you think divorce is inevitable, it’s best to stay out of it until its’ over.  Even then, you need to stay away for a period of time.

Some affairs are like aspirins.  The person married is using the affair as a method of coping with a bad marriage.  The truth is, the person should be seeing a counselor or a doctor.  When we cheat, we’re engaging in an act that is nothing to be proud of.  We’re trying to “Cheat” the system.  When you do that, you forget about the unintended consequences.  Children get hurt the most.  Parents are forced to pick sides.  Nobody is perfect.  Rarely does a person in a really good relationship cheat unless it is because of hubris.  Unfortunately, the good relationship in today’s culture is becoming rare as well.

We make a lot of bad decisions when we’re young.  A lot of the time it’s marriage to a person you know very little about.  The desire to cheat is normal in a relationship that is not fulfilling.  Some people are never fulfilled with one person and should not be married.

Fidelity alone does not define a relationship.  Forgiveness is divine.  In the end, you will have to answer for your decisions.  Make good ones. And by the way.  Ice cream melts, roses lose their petals and that attractive person ages.

 

IB IB2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHERE THE FUCK AM I?

             victory

I LOVE MY COUNTRY.  I LOVE BEING AN AMERICAN

Pledge

I’ve been very fortunate to live in a time of prosperity in our country only to see it sliding away.  I grew up saying the pledge of allegiance daily in “home room” class.  I recall Nikita Khrushchev saying: “We will bury you” and “Your children will grow up Communists”.

 Combat Title

I grew up watching Combat on ABC every Tuesday night at 7:30 PM.  I grew up in the Navy as my parents had both died when I was quite young.

 ff1060_1

The military taught me self-reliance and decent morals.  It exposed me to the evil that exists in our world and not just within the enemy but in my own unit.  I have to admit that I don’t fully trust a person that hasn’t served their country in one form or another.  All of my shipmates knew we were riding on a floating powder keg that could have ended every last sailor’s life.

When I left the military I took off the uniform but I never took off the principles the military had inculcated in me.

 Marines

Most of all, I remember patriotism.  Please watch this video until the end.  My favorite American is in the 2nd to last scene.

One of the greatest books on war ever written was penned by a Chinese warrior, a high ranking General named Sun Tzu, who wrote a book on war strategy that is taught at West Point today.

 TZU

The book “THE ART OF WAR”, was first translated into French in 1772.  The original text was written in 512 B.C. and very little substance has been deviated since its’ first translation.

Hanoi Jane kerry

In the 1960s, America lost its’ “innocence”.  During the Vietnam War, Communist China used one of the precepts of Sun Tzu to attack America from within.  In chapter 1 (Laying Plans), article 23, Sun Tzu says: “If your enemy is united, SEPARATE THEM”.  In WWI and WWII Americans supported the troops.  The same can be said for The Korean War. Communist China used scoundrels like Jane Fonda, John Kerry and Bill Ayers to divide the country under the guise of “Humanity”.  This was a successful tactic used by North Vietnam. Another precept Sun Tzu writes about is the Prolonged War.  He says: “A country will not support a prolonged war”.

 easyrider

In the 60s, the counter culture was born.  It was obvious and nurtured by Hollywood.  If you look at my series I wrote about TV and Movies of the last 3 decades, you can see how shows about family and goodness turned to shows about the “Bad Guy Hero” and scenes of immoral sex.

WWII vet closed

I grew up in a Culture that still related to the founding fathers.  We had survived the monarchy of FDR and still had faith in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. But I woke up this morning and opened my eyes only to be aware of the similarities employed in the Weimar Republic in the late 1920s.

 OBAMUNISM

Again, please watch this video all the way through.  (it’s not very long)

 

 

I ask you the reader: “WHERE THE HELL DID MY COUNTRY GO”?  This is not the America I grew up in.

OWNING A CLASSIC CAR

Car-Girl-and-PorscheE1

When I was young, I grew up with a father that was out of the apartment before I woke up and gone until about 8:00PM (2000 for you in Europe).  So I had to wake up and get my ass ready for school.  I had to walk half way across town every morning, and maybe catch a ride home with a friend (Mate) in the evening.  At the age of 15, I noticed a car parked in front of the local pharmacy every morning.  It was a Porsche 914.  It was different.  But it looked as cool as I could imagine a street car to look.  So for a year I had to walk by this car which almost seem to flirt with me.

914

 

Just a quick reminder; I came from a family that was affluent only to lose it all when the matriarch of the family became an alcoholic.  When Mom died, the rats abandoned ship.  My siblings married or enlisted.  So it was just myself and my father for about 5 years living in upper scale poverty.  What sucked was I knew the difference.  I can understand it all now and have gotten over the bitterness and realize that sometimes A+B = Shit happens.

 

But I remembered the name P-O-R-S-C-H-E  and I’ve wanted a 914 most of my life.  Over the years, I’ve owned an MGC (An MGB w/ a 6 cylinder engine) this was before the internet and parts were impossible to find.  That alone made this car expensively impossible to keep road worthy.  Now, I could email someone in Coventry U.K. and they would respond: “Sure mate, I’ve got a set of those in the back yard”.

 

WORKING MY WAY UP THE AUTOMOTIVE FOOD CHAIN

Ace68 MGC

1968 MG-C (6 cylinder)

 

Owning the MG was a love hate relationship.  It was the most exciting hill climbing car I have ever owned.  I LOVED that.  On the other hand, it broke down in Altamont, California.  (Amongst other obscure places).  One night it broke down on a date, which would have been cool had I not been stressed out.  But any car with real leather interior will keep your date relaxed until you can find the coil plug that came undone.  Then you can forget about the kiss good night as the shop rag you kept in the back never got your forearms clean.

 THE 1978 BMW 320i duo

 BMW1       BMW2

Fast forward past the Divorce.  I went from one BMW 320I to another 320I.  They were perfect because you can drive them until it’s time to throw them away.  I threw two away.  They were BMWs and that’s about all I can say about them.  I got them cheap and drove each one for about 3 years.  I would not call it an exotic “Classic Car” like you might a Porsche, Ferrari, or Lotus or even a Corvette but the Beemer crowd in the 90s was what it was.  (sorry I hate that phrase too) The 320i didn’t impress anyone and if anything, just made me look like an upper scale poverty drug dealer.  325s were the car all the yuppies were driving.  I was hoping old would be new again like the BMW 2000.  But I haven’t seen a 320I since I donated mine.

My girl friend at the time left me because she knew I couldn’t afford a 5 series BMW.(The Bitch)

MY BABY

ast_cargo

 

Now, you’re probably expecting me to say: “I finally bought a Porsche”.  But the vehicle I refer to as my baby, (believe it or not) is an old beat up 1998 Chevy Astro Cargo Van.  Why is this my baby?  Because I’ve owned it for 12 years now and all I’ve had to do is replace the usual crap like a fuel pump, water pump, Breaks, Power steering hose and a few batteries.  I’ve finally come to appreciate the car that you can rely on.  I’ve never owned any vehicle this long.  But if you have a truck or a van, you’ll always have lots of friends that want you to move a 6 foot couch that won’t fit in their Prius.  I think marriage should be this way.  One reason I got this van was to move a half ton of musical equipment around.  I literally used it to move my household stuff from Monterey to Carmel. (Only about 10 miles) it’s made numerous trips from San Francisco to Washington State.  And on a whimsical spur of the moment act of spontaneity (this last June); it drove from Nevada, over the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range to central California and back the same day with over 165 K on the odometer.

2panelout

 

I wrote a song on my last album that starts out: “We Love People not Things.  We use Things not People”.  I must admit that I’ve become quite fond on the old beat up Van.  I say beat up because it got T-boned and rather than fix it, AT&T sent her to auction.  My Van guy who specialized in refurbished Vans told me he had a great Van with nothing wrong with it except it had the driver’s side panel crushed in at the bottom.  It’s not THAT much of an eye sore, but he was happy to find a home for it.  But it runs like Jerry Rice.  I took it for about 6 K (U.S.) and it’s only broken down on the freeway once and that was when the fuel pump went out.  Not bad for 12 years.  I credit its’ longevity not to love, but to the fact that it was an AT&T repair vehicle.  They have guys that change plugs and oil on vehicles whether they need it or not.  So for the first four years, this Van was raised like it was in a Montessori school.  So for those of you buying new cars; take that sucker in every 4 to 5 months for an oil change.  That has to be the reason this Van has driven so long.

 

A YEAR AGO

928 toy

 

After buying a quaint little 3 bedroom house on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe, I had a decent balance in my savings account.  So I was browsing EBAY to see what 914s where going for.  And let me preface this by saying, in 1985 when my youngest was born, I bought him a very cute 1/14 scale Porsche 928.  This was the fastest street legal car ever built.  It was guaranteed to go 157 MPH off of the assembly line.  It was the coolest looking Porsche I’d ever seen.  BTW, it is pronounced Poor- Shuh ; not Porsh.  (I was admonished in L.A. on the correct enunciation of the make) But anyway, I bought it for my new born because I wanted him to have dreams.  He would grow up and watch fast and furious and gain an interest in Japanese Rice Rockets.  The 928 which was created by Tony Lapine, the maker of the  1963 Chevy Split Window Sting Ray, was the first pure Porsche.  Nothing came from the VW plant. Now I don’t know how it happened, I figured I would find a 914 and have to work on it and it would be my new money pit.  But as soon as I entered Porsche 9 into the EBAY search engine, this beautiful RED 928 popped up.  I think it said Ace on the driver side door. (Just kidding) but I fell for it.  Especially the part that said: “Runs great”.  As fate would have it.  The broker had to flip this car quick for taxes and he had a business in L.A. next to a Mercedes dealership.  Someone had traded in a gorgeous rust free 928 on a new Mercedes.  I wired him the money and in two days, I was actually backing my new Porsche off of the delivery truck.

K1cropped

 

Yeah it had been raped.  I think the guys in the shop stole my gold plated Porsche hood crest and the stereo.  My spark wires are from Kragen not BOSCH, and it was leaking drops of everything.  So I found the best Porsche guy in the area who had my radiator rebuilt.  For some reason, if you move up here, don’t be  surprised if your power steering hose goes out on you.  (I’ve replaced the Van and the 928’s) But I’ve put about 2K additionally in it since I’ve owned it. (That includes a new Blaupunkt) I only take it out on weekends.  I bought a trickle charger for those “Snowed in” weeks.  And I still have a yearning for the 914.  But the 928 is like having a German mistress. (Heidi Klum comes to mind)

HeidiK1

The 98 Van is the wife that is always there.  What else could a man ask for?  And, my Van never gets jealous when I take the 928 out and drive it hard.

 

FATE

I never would have gotten this 928, (Which is the only driving/preserved 928 in my county) had the stars not aligned just right and the previous owner not traded this into the Mercedes dealership next to the broker I dealt with who needed to get rid of it fast so he could pay his taxes. And I still know in the back of my mind that this little sweet heart could get stolen or T-boned in an Area 51 second.  So I’m avoiding getting emotional about it.

K1

Will I get a 914?  Maybe, but it doesn’t matter.  If I was offered a Ferrari or a “McLaren” I wouldn’t get excited about it.  It’s just stuff that will go to someone else after I die.  I’m thankful God allowed me to own a “Top of the line” Porsche that is capable of going over 200 MPH.  I’m still just a regular guy.  I don’t go to the Porsche Club of America events.  I don’t wear Porsche polo shirts or cuff links. What I own does not and never has defined me.  I don’t have a license plate frame on my Van that says: “My other car is…..”  Nope, but the more I drive K1 (The 928), the more I’m bonding with it.  It’s just a nice car.

That 15 year old version of me that drooled over the 914 every morning on the way to school would have been proud of this car. 

THE POWER OF POSITIVE

teacher chalk board

I’ve read so much crap about the power of positive thinking and “intention manifestation” that I thought I would share a few (very few) of my practices. Esther Hicks aka Estherham (Esther/Abraham) was channeling her spirit Abraham and wrote that we should practice saying: “Wouldn’t it be nice if…………..(fill in the manifestation) My take on the same situation is this, When something is unexplainable and you don’t know what the result is going to be, I go into positive mode by saying to myself: “I’ve got a good feeling about this”. Or: “I’ve got a good feeling this is going to work”. Now it only works if you’ve done what you were suppose to do and you’re not getting immediate results. Sometimes our manifestations make us wait. (Yeah I know it sounds like a “cop out”) But I can almost guarantee you this, if you say: “That’s not going to do anything” or make a negative comment, the chances are 9 times out of 10, you’re going to be right.

A+B=C is supposed to work. But sometimes A+B (Plus a little plumbing tape) = C.

Finally, A+B (and positive thinking)=C on its’ own. It’s a little thing but I believe there are principles in this crazy universe that can screw up our plans or deliver our wishes. The universe is full of untapped knowledge. Some of it we’ll never know. Some of it we better know and some of it is “good to know”. We can make it work for us or be its’ victim. It’s up to you to know the difference.

FRIENDS AND POLITICS

GOP. JA

Politics is never to be discussed with the novice.  And by novice, I don’t mean the idiot on the street who can’t tell you who the vice president is, but the Kool-Aid drinking Left or Right wing fringe prepper that live their life according to the news headlines.  You can tell that they are because the “Talking points of their ideology become their tools of attack”.  I’ve seen it from both sides.  I think I know why people cannot talk about Politics in a civil voice any more.

 

We use to be: “One nation indivisible under God, with liberty and justice for all”.

 

Our newest novelty has managed to make us one nation divided. (Period)  People on both sides feel if you attack their ideology, then you are either winning or losing.  I’ve found that the left will beat you to death with emotions and hate.  The Right will beat you to death with facts and hate.

 

I think anyone that agrees with one side 100% of the time is being misled 50% of the time.  I’ve been a Democrat and I’ve been a Republican.  (The latter most of my adult life) Now I consider myself an independent as they’re the only constituency that doesn’t constantly milk you for donations.  And for me it boils down to this.  The left has become the anti-white party.  And that’s a fine strategy.  It’s worked twice. But it has divided the country.  The right has been developing an ulcer for 6 years and do not seem to be able to think straight.  I believe it’s because they had a slam dunk and for some reason their 2012 candidate lost.

 stalin

The reason why is still a mystery.  I will quote Stalin who said that the people who vote in elections do not have as much influence as those who count the votes.  We’ve seen how this administration used the IRS to manipulate the election.

 

Back to discussing politics with friends.  Unless a person has seen politics from both sides, they see politics as a sport.  “My side versus your side”.  Sports in America has become as bad as soccer in 3rd worlds.

DVG

Dodger fans kill Giant fans (literally) in the parking lot just for wearing a Giant cap.  I know this is not indicative of Dodger fans but you see how heated sports can get people in America.  Once you remove the unsportsmanlike conduct in sports and politics, you can have a discussion.  If not, the insecurity of the “Friend” you’re talking to will be stimulated.

Ann

Ann Coulter wrote a book called: “How to talk to liberals if you must”.

savage

Michael Savage wrote a book called: “Liberalism is a mental disorder”.

I find both books amusing.  But there is credence to Ann’s book.  If your friend is not politically mature, leave it alone.  Unless they can understand your political paradigm, and I mean from your POV not theirs. You will only alienate them.

 Fernando

Let me give you an example of what it should be like.  Say what you want about Boston Red Sox fans (I find them loudly obnoxious and hard to understand) but unlike Giant/Dodger fans or even Yankee fans, they have an understanding and respect for the game.  I was blessed with a chance to see Fernando Valenzuela (as an Oriole) pitch against Roger Clemens in Fenway Park.  Fernando gave up a walk and a hit in the first inning.  The hit scored the base runner from second. (Whom had advanced after a sacrifice groundout).  From that point until the bottom of the 7th inning, Fernando did not allow another batter to reach first.  His arm tired in the 7th and like a good manager, he was pulled after missing the strike zone and giving up two more hits all in the 7th.

I remember as Fernando walked off of the pitching mound how the other team’s fans (Bostonians) gave the former Dodger Cy Young winner a standing Ovation.  They knew what a great pitching performance they had just scene.  They were able to set aside partisanship and show respect for an amazing performance.

 Standing Ovation

You need the same respectful state of mind in discussing politics.  Most of the time it’s Right vs. Left spewing talking points.  Most of the time once the side with baseless talking points runs out of explanations, it turns ugly.  Then you reach the point I spoke of on conflict.  You fight, fly or freeze.

 

My advice to you when a zealous friend is talking politics is to pretend you’re listening.  Don’t try to talk sense.  Just say: “I’ll have to look that up”.

 

Sadly if you have to do what I just mentioned, your political opponent is really not your friend.  Friends, (I’ve found in the music business) know how to back off of sensitive areas.  Those who go after you with disregard are not trying to converse, they’re trying to win.  They’re rooting for their side.  To hell with facts.  Go ahead, boo Fernando’s 6 inning perfect game.  Even Bostonians are smarter than that.