Category Archives: Personal Development

NEVER LET RELIGION…………..

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Bible

STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

 

Mark Twain once wrote: “Never let school stand in the way of your education”. ~ Brilliant!

Why would a non-believer read the Bible? Why don’t self-proclaimed believers read the Bible? It’s good to know a little bit of historical background about this best seller. I am writing this article to both the self-proclaimed believer and the proud secular self-centered atheist.

The Bible was put together from writings in 325 AD, 12 years after Rome’s Emperor Constantine received a dream. Here is the short version of the dream: In a dream, Emperor Constantine (Who was facing great odds in the battle of the Milvian Bridge) was instructed to put the cross of Jesus on his shields and his men would be victorious. The dream said: “in hoc signo vinces.” Translated from Greek: “Through this sign, you will be victorious”. This was in 313 AD. He did and he was.

Emperor Constantine ceased the persecution of Christians and wanted a manifesto for Christianity so he formed the “Council of Nicea”. They were a group of Rome’s Christians that sorted through the “Sand Scripts” and put together that which was deemed appropriate and approved by the Roman government. So to the non-believer, yes, politics was involved. This is why we don’t see the book of Enoch in the Bible.

The Bible, throughout the years has been given the moniker of “The inspired word of God”. That is for you to accept, reject or consider; *Note, It doesn’t say “The spoken word of God”. Nonetheless, it has been accepted by Christians and Jews as the documented communication between God and man.

We were all created with the gift of Free Will. With this gift comes the albatross called “Responsibility”. You may have heard the phrase: “I’m a grown adult. I can make my own decisions”. I say: “Yes you are and you best be prepared for the unintended consequences”. (Because they belong to you). Remember this sentence: “You are where you are because of who you are”.

You have to take responsibility for your actions for even being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Even if you take your god out of the equation, and you are the self-proclaimed arbiter of your own criteria of right and wrong; you are still responsible for your outcome. You may say: “I’m not responsible for being in a car crash, the other guy was on his cell phone”. That may be true, but there will always be other guys on their cell phones. If you’re a pro-active person, you have insurance and you move forward in life. (Hopefully without lifelong sustaining injuries). I always look for distracted drivers on cell phones and consider them legally drunk.

At that point, some choose to blame life, blame their god, blame the other driver, blame Steve Jobs, and blame the police for not catching the text messenger on his phone. But blaming others doesn’t allow you to move forward. Accepting that rain falls on everyone at one time or another will. It’s the cost of Free Will. Bad things happen to good people because God let us run our own lives, rather than creating us “Humanoids”. You cannot have love if the other person does not have the free will to reject you. So those of you who are radio evangelist Christians that think once saved always saved, remember this: “You cannot lose your salvation, but you can willfully walk away from it”. God will not force anyone into heaven.

The Bible is full of rules; “Thou shall nots” and “Thou shalt”. Sometimes if you ignore the “Shall nots”, you’ll suffer the unintended consequences like divorce, which leads to screwed up children that repeat the cycle. Yes, being a human does come with a manual. It’s up to you to find the one you want to base your human experience on.

To the Atheist that reads the Bible as a “Self-Help” Book, I can only say that you will find nuggets of wisdom in the book; however you’re not getting the full benefit of this nice collection of letters and historical accounts of a person who professed to be the One and only God of eternity in the Flesh if you are not open to the idea of an omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient Power. In the first five books of the Old Testament which Jews refer to as the Torah, you have the spoken words of God written by Moses. In the New Testament, you’ll find the words of God spoken through the Son of God in the human called Jesus the Messiah.

You’ll find wisdom that you use every day and you probably didn’t even know it. For example: “You reap what ye sow” is another way of saying: “What goes around comes around”.

The Bible is a good book for the Atheist to determine right from wrong. The hardest thing for the Atheist to understand is that God allows evil to happen. Bitter non-believers are always saying: “Why did God allow this madman to gun down my child on the playground”? Or even more accurately spoken: “How can a loving God allow this to happen”? What we as humans don’t understand is that death might not be “The End”. We often see the suffering of a person and associate that with death thus giving death a negative connotation. When we were a fetus in the womb, we thought that once the cord between our mother was severed, and we were kicked out of the warm womb, life would be over. We didn’t know any better. Then we saw what was our journey for the next 70 to 80 years.

It boils down to this:

It’s harder to get HIV from Heterosexual sex.

It’s easier to go through life not having to remember lies.

It’s easier to work for something and buy it than do 10 years in prison for robbery.

It’s easier to live longer if you don’t fornicate your neighbor’s wife.

It’s easier to be happy if you find your happiness from within rather waiting for someone else to wipe your butt.

It’s easier to go to the store if your name is not on a “Wanted for Murder” poster.

If you create false gods like Golf, Cars, money, self-admiration, Pornography or whatever you worship, you have a greater chance of being disappointed.

If you worship the one God who is the father of Jesus and the Creator of the Holy Spirit; the worst that can happen is you’ve sacrificed worldly pleasures which ARE finite and disposable. (Read the book of Ecclesiastes written by King Solomon, the richest man to ever live) He did it all. He owned mansions and had cool things called “concubines” (look it up) and he did drugs and alcohol. He had treasures and gold as in: “The riches of Solomon”. I think that’s where the term: “It’s good to be king” came from. Wait that was Mel Brooks. In the end he realized that the only constant in his life was not baseball as James Earl Jones says, rather a relationship with the Creator.

The Bible offers insight into what’s next. The Bible offers you a map that shows the bifurcation in the road and how one leads to green pastures and the other a steep deadly cliff.  It invites you to be more than Pavlov’s dog.  It introduces the concept that there is more to life than that which you can see, touch, smell, taste and hear.  Perhaps it borders on “Quantum Physics”.

If the Bible is wrong, and you were a believer, the worst case scenario is you’ve lived a decent life with minimal regrets. If the Bible is right and you were an Atheist, the “after-life” might not be so good a place, ya know? It’s your choice. I could add that when you get to be my age you’ll understand, but you’re not guaranteed tomorrow so don’t worry about judgment day, worry about today.

MR. HATE

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Mrhate

 

Sometimes he comes across as simply obnoxious. His favorite interaction is an insult. If you’re lucky, you’ll get off with him whispering under his voice: “ah blow it out your ass”! If you’re not so lucky, beware. When Mr. Hate goes into silent mode, he is internalizing. That means Look Out for MR. HATE

 

Many of you may be working next to Mr. Hate and not even know it. He doesn’t always look like the comic character with a red face and eyes about to explode. (And steam coming out of his ears) Sometimes Mr. Hate is a really quiet person, until he takes his hate out with his car on the sidewalk or a car bomb.

 Golden Key

God gave us one fantastic gift. It’s a special key. It’s called free will. But I’ll keep this story on the secular level. (For the sake of the non-believer). Here’s a sentence that can change your life if you think hard enough about it. You are unhappy because you choose to be unhappy. Happiness is an inside out principle. Many of you who have watched the movie “The Secret” know about the law of attraction. That law is “Free Will”. One of the secrets in the Christian religion is to be “Thankful” for your blessings. Sometimes your blessings are hard to find, especially if you’re angry because you’re driving a BMW and you really want a Ferrari. Think about how nice your BMW is compared to a Geo.

 Geo

Mr. Hate got his name because he never found out how to use this key. Have you ever noticed how some people can get stuck in any situation under the worst circumstances and they learn to adapt, improvise and overcome? (ooo-rah) Yes some people it seems were born with the knowledge of the key. Good things happen as a result of knowing the power of the key. The key or free will is based on the concept of Isaac Newton’s theory that for every action there is an opposite, opposed reaction. If you cover a Chimney; the smoke will find other ways to escape. In Mr. Hate’s case, it’s often sarcasm, cruelty and sometimes just bitterness.

 

In Mr. Hate’s situation; He’s hateful because he chooses to be hateful. When you choose to be hateful you resort to blame. You blame everyone else because of basically three reasons: It is not how I was brought up, (Blaming your parents is often at the top of the list) I’m Irish or German or Swahili and have a short temper, or my boss is a jerk. Your boss can be your coach, spouse, tax account, anyone you rely on for some form of interaction.

 

How does Mr. Hate manifest his hate or anger? Sometimes it starts out with just snarky little jabs disguised to appear innocent. Sometimes, Mr. Hate uses his hateful persona in the form of fear or intimidation. How many of you have heard someone say: “You don’t want to get on their bad side” or “Just go along with her, it’s not worth listening to the rant”. If Mr. Hate is materialistic and bases life on the amount of toys they have when they die, they tend to neve understand that someone will always have more “Stuff”. Sadly, these people see your Stuff as Crap, while their crap is stuff. (An old George Carlin joke)

 

Yes you could be driving a Ferrari 308 while Mr. Hate drives his Geo, but in his mind your 308 is worthless because it’s not a 275GTB NART (Current sale price 25 Million and only 10 ever made). Lincoln once said: “You’ll never elevate yourself by trying to bring others down”.

 Dino Nart

Don’t be fooled, Mr. Hate knows the art of denial. Yet his biggest enemy is himself. Not because there is anything wrong with him, but because he’s chosen to stew in his anger rather than pull himself up by the bootstraps and do something about the crappy cards he was dealt. Sometimes you get dealt a deuce, a four a five and a pair of sevens. Sometimes you get 4 Aces dealt to you. When I look at the former I see a possible full house. Mr. Hate didn’t get four Aces so he throws all 5 cards back. Warning, only Mr. Hate can help himself.

Aces

The Secret Power that makes the Special Key work is …………….. Responsibility.

You are WHERE you are because of WHO you are. You choose to be there.

My Admiration for Jerry Rice

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The Greatest

And Why He should be every young fatherless kid’s Role Model.

400 yards
I use to say: “I could throw for 400 yards a game with these two guys“.

I, without hesitation, consider Jerry Rice the greatest Football player (at any position) and perhaps the greatest athlete ever.  He didn’t use Steroids. But he did put two quarterbacks in the Hall of Fame.

In the late 80s and early 90s, I was on a first name basis with most of the Dynasty 49ers.  Ironically, my two favorite niners, Jerry Rice and Steve Young, I never got to meet.  But I heard stories about Jerry Rice.

YoungRice

It amazed me how both Montana and Young would never hesitate to throw into 3 man coverage with confidence that Rice would come down with the completion.  Jerry broke records that will remain his for a long time.  One reason was his dedication to his workout program.  Complacent was not a word in Jerry’s vocabulary.    He would practice relentlessly which ruined many a first round draft picks that the niners wasted on Wide Recievers to replace either Jerry Rice or John Taylor.

Example: J.J. Stokes – He was assigned to Jerry Rice to learn Rice’s workout routine.  Stokes could not keep up with the veteran exactly 10 years his elder. (Rice born in 62, Stokes born in 72).  Rice was simply dedicated.  He didn’t have goals of being the “Greatest” ala Mohammed Ali or Rickey Henderson.  He just did his job in a steadfast humble fashion.  Only once did Rice ever get involved in a controversy and that was when Joe Montana was nearing the end of his career and was being offered local commercial offers.  Rice felt he was being over looked because he was black and not flamboyant like Dion Sanders or Michael Jordan.  The truth was that Montana had done commercials earlier in his career which is how he met his wife Jennifer. (In a Gillette commercial). Also; Rice was the greatest on the field, but not on the screen.

Being the classy gentleman that Jerry Rice is, he went back on the field and proceeded to shatter football records.  Jerry Rice should be a role model for those who don’t have fathers in the household.  His story should never be forgotten.  Recently I posted a video of Itzhak Perlman and called him the Jerry Rice of music.  Those who are truly great never concentrate on greatness.  They concentrate on always doing better. They practice until they can’t practice any longer; then they give it one more shot.  Anyone can learn a lesson from #80.

 

Jerry Rice

THAT OTHER PLACE

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Ace Andres bistro1

Is it part of the String Theory?

 

I can’t explain it.  Is it a state of Nirvana? Naw, Nirvana is way too ambiguous.  (Because there are so many different definitions of it that mean so many different things.  But it’s a place that is not of this consciousness.  It’s like getting high but without drugs or any mind altering substance.  I don’t think its beta-endorphins. Usually runners have to run a certain distance before their bodies release Beta-endorphins.  It’s called a runner’s high.

 

Mind over matter?  Sometimes you can hurt yourself; however if your mind is preoccupied, you won’t feel the pain until your mind focuses on the injury.  Then all of a sudden it starts hurting.  Why is that?

 

I’m trying to describe a place that my consciousness goes to when I launch into a guitar solo.  Club owners that watch me say that they can almost tell when I’m leaving my body.  I haven’t soloed live (In front of an audience) for a few years.  The other day I was in my studio and had Stevie Ray Vaughan playing on my Computer.  He went into a blues solo and I picked up my studio guitar and launched into my own solo.  At a point I could feel myself losing my awareness of where I was and even what I was doing.  I was “In the Music”.  Does that make sense?  I was assimilating into the song.  Then I could almost feel something inside me leaving my body.

 

It was like a flame of passion coming out of my chest.  It was like someone flipped a switch.  And I wasn’t playing in front of anyone.

 

I have no Idea…..  It feels good and I want more.   When you see me close my eyes and throw my head back; I’m going to that place.

 

 

 

The Cafe’s 2015 Breitbart Award winner is….

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The-Silencing-Powers-CVR-v10-PERS

The Café Americain awards its’ 2015 Andrew Breitbart Award to the person that most embodies the transformational political horizontal shift.  Ms. Powers is just one major epiphany short of making the “Jump to right”.  At this point in time, The Writer Kirsten Powers is where Andrew was when he was starting to question why he was a liberal.  In Kirsten’s current position, she believes that she has too much to lose by making the swing.  As she becomes more and more disenfranchised by the left, she’ll see how welcomed she is on the right and this will open her mind to that which it has been trapped in.

 

It’s that “Ah-ha” moment where you ask yourself why.  Nobody with the exception of Ronald Reagan embraced this shift like Andrew Breitbart.  We who were once of the liberal persuasion had tangible reasons for becoming republicans or Independence. (Not the Juan Williams kind).  Ronald Reagan while president of the Screen Actors’ Guild was threatened to have acid thrown in his face.

 

Your humble author and almost famous rock star learned politics as a 12 year old growing up next to a 60’s Bobby Kennedy type congressman.  When I saw how the word liberal had changed in the Carter years; Ronald Reagan, (also a former Democrat) started making sense in that government needed to get out of the way of the individual’s prosperity.

 

Andrew Breitbart was a liberal because it was cool to be a liberal in SoCal.  Then once he discovered where his own self-esteem came from; his eyes were opened. Kirsten has a lot invested in the left and honestly, admits her own ignorance when it came to conservative ideology.  She is still like the circus elephant chained to a small “useless” chain. (look up that story for yourself)

 

But hopefully Kirsten can reach voters and enable them to “Think for themselves and not be afraid to engage in true debate”  To quote Kirsten: “The debate is never over”.

Andrew

LIFE IS LIKE BEING A STARTING PITCHER IN THE MLB

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Orel

Think about it. In baseball, a starting pitcher usually tries to throw 7+ innings. In life, if you’re lucky (or not) you go 7+ decades. In your late 50s you start to wonder if you will make it another 2 – 3 innings. Sometimes you give up homeruns and sometimes you strike out the side. Either way, you get to point where no matter what you throw, (curve, slider, high heat, change up) you realize that you need to throw strikes…. The more you learn in life the easier life is to survive. If you’re like the retired great Hershiser, Orel you learned your opponent and took index cards out to mound so you knew who could hit your high heat even if it was 98 MPH. He knew what the out pitch was for each batter. This is why in the playoffs, the Homerun kings and Batting champs are rarely productive. It’s usually some crappy guy name Chico with a season avg. of .224 with 40 RBIs and 7 homeruns that gets the Series MVP. WHY? Because the focus is on the Blue chip hitters. In life, it’s often the people you over look that do the most damage. (The people you don’t worry about).

Great pitchers like Orel Hershiser learned never to show anger at their authoritative figure. (The plate ump or their manager). The same is good advice in real life. Don’t yell at a cop when you get pulled over and be happy with a minimum speed, speeding ticket. It beats going to the slam.

Sometimes pitchers get hit in the face by a comeback pitch and are taken out in the first inning. Some kids die of crib death. (or SIDS). Some pitchers get scratched that are suppose to start. Some kids never make it out of the womb alive.

Some pitchers have great careers cut short because of Tommy John surgery. Some people come back from Iraq unable to stay in the game.

World Series Giants Royals Baseball

If you have good coaches and a manager, they’ll show guidance and help you with a good long Cy Young Career. If your team is blessed with 2 more great pitchers, you won’t be counted on to carry the load. If you have good parents or mentors, they’ll step in and stop you from being self destructive. The duty of a parent or a good manager is to get the best performance of his pitcher that he’s capable of.

Buster2

Sometimes a pitcher works with a great catcher like Buster Posey or Johnny Bench. In life, we’re often blessed with good spouses. They often tell you what you’re doing wrong to help you. A bad catcher just wants to make sure the ball doesn’t get pass him. A bad spouse just wants to cash/catch that paycheck.

Unfortunately, what makes a good pitcher is a good team. In life, you sometimes have to go it alone. No family or spouse.  This is where good friends come in.  If that’s the case, it’s all the more important that you throw good pitches. Personally, I don’t want to be left on the mound if I can no longer hit the strike zone.

Strike zone

Often the secret to a long career or a productive life grid is knowing your strengths as well as your weaknesses.  We’ve already discussed the value of knowing your opponent’s weaknesses.  In baseball you can fall victim to biting off more than you can chew.  If you know your batter is a sucker for high heat, you’ll often throw “Outside of the Strike Zone” (up and away) to get him to bite.  The best time to do this is when you’re up on the batter with an 0 and 2 count (no balls & 2 Strikes) you can afford to waste a couple of sucker pitches.

In life however; you can buy stuff on credit.  It’s called buy now pay later.  It’s better if you save the money for something then buy it without credit.  Or at least have 2/3rds of the item paid for (Like an 0/2 count) then charge the last 33%.  Otherwise you find yourself chewing off more than you can handle.  If I had an 0/2 count and I throw one in the dirt, one high and away and a brush back pitch, then all of a sudden I have a full count and have to come down middle or risk giving up a walk. (Or worse, a homerun)  In real life this could be bankruptcy or divorce, often both.  Be prudent, go for the 0/2 count,  then waste one or two pitches, then throw the batter your out pitch.

In real life, make sure you can afford what you buy.  The term “In the hole” is a negative term in baseball.  (As so in real life).

Sit down

“Sit Down”

SEX, MATH and GETTING OLD

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Michael Douglas And Catherine Zeta-Jones Split

HALF PLUS 7

Or in Michael Douglas’ situation, half plus zero. Douglas is now 70 and Jones is 45

(Half plus 10)

 

A/2 + 7 = Your mistress

 Your Age, divided by 2 (or half your age), plus seven years added is what the formula is describing.  What the hell am I talking about?

I was in the presence of 4 millionaires in their 50s.  Women enjoy talking about being Cougars, but long before the wild feline concept ever came about A/2 + 7 was around.

This is the formula that makes sense at the age of 14.  As 14/2 = 7 + 7 = 14.  So a 14 year old meets a 14 year old.  Half of 14 equals 7.  Add 7 to that and you have 14.

Once you are in the winter years of life and you fear death and resent getting old, the Idea of a mistress pops into what was once a successful entrepreneur.  So rich old men seem to have come up with a formula that is actually a standard in the millionaire community.  (I wouldn’t have known had I not been an outsider listening in)  But those who are of means feel that you should aim for someone half your age and add 7 years to that number.

Example: a 60 year old is looking to have an affair.  He sees a woman who is in her mid-thirties.  60 is a nice round number.  Half of 60 is 30 and by adding 7 you get thirty seven (37).  Now for every year under 37, you consider that a victory bonus.

When I got divorced, I was 40.  The first younger mate I came into contact with was 29.  She was 2 years over the half plus 7 rule and the millionaires scoffed at me.  I got a few conciliatory “Nice Try” remarks from a few, but basically, I was out of their league.  Especially since I was the only one making under 6 digits.

During my single years, I used my charm and striking good looks (Just kidding) to actually attract one of the gold diggers my millionaire friends were coveting.  Let me just say that if you try this, be prepared to watch your life endure misery.  What my elder yet wealthy friends failed to recognize is that another principle that goes with this equation is that the half plus 7 girl toy will have a younger boy toy with more stamina and physical attributes. (versus fiscal attributes).

I guess what goes around, comes around.  I ended up remarrying a woman 2 years younger than myself.  I couldn’t dream of a serious relationship with a woman half my age plus seven years (Unless I was 14 – 20).

They say generational trends (Or “Nostalgia”) works in 20 year cycles.  Since most men start feeling old at 40, the half plus 7 formula doesn’t work when she’s 27 and I’m 40.  Now 36 works.  That would be a 40 year old minus 10%.   But I wouldn’t go much more than 10%.  In fact, the further you pass 40, the smaller I would make the percentage. At the age of 60, that would be 54.  (60 minus 6). Using half plus 7 she would be 37.  That would be a 23 year difference.  You would be in a “Nostalgic” state of mind.

“She wouldn’t remember Areatha Franklin”

And to quote one millionaire who heard I was dating a 29 year old at the age of 40; he said: “What are you two going to do?  Have dinner at Chucky Cheese then go see Bambi”? …………… Obviously pure jealousy.

I think the only reason a woman would wait for a blue pill to take effect would be if she expected to inherit a gold mine. (Or she was truly in love) On the other hand, I don’t think a man would put up with menopause unless he was truly in love with the person going through it.

(*NOTE: I’ve never needed a blue or any other colored pill)

If you’re married to the same person you’ve been married to for 40 years, good for you, stay married.  If you find yourself single again; once you hit 40, stay within 10% of your own age.  At least you can understand each other while text messaging.

IF YOU ARE STILL MARRIED AND ARE CONSIDERING A/2 +7 let me give you one last equation.

 (A + R)/2 – (AF+A1) = Your net total worth.

Assets plus Retirement divided by 2 goes to current spouse. Then subtract Attorney fees and Alimony.  Then ask yourself, is it worth it.  Some say “Yes” you can’t take it with you.  But you risk your new half plus 7 partner doing the same thing unless you get a prenuptial agreement and good luck on that.

 

NEVER RUN FROM…

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 rearview mirror carjacking

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

RUN TO!

This is a principle that I think even the late great Dr.Stephen Covey would agree is “Universal”.  Whatever the situation is; never RUN FROM your current status just to get away; rather, RUN TO a specific place that you would rather to be at.

This principle applies to nearly everything you do.  If you see a traffic jam ahead, you should not make the first turn you see to avoid the gridlock.  Think about an alternate route you may be able to access that will get you to your destination safely.  My point is don’t respond with a knee jerk response.  Sure, sometimes unplanned evasive maneuvers are necessary to avoid obvious injury but in most cases, you should always be aware of your surroundings and have an immediate plan B.

Did you know that soldiers that plant land mines do so anticipating what the natural response is going to be?  If a bouncing Betty is in the ground at point A, when it discharges, the natural response for the squad will be to take cover in a ditch.  This is where mine #2 is usually planted.  Did you know that in America, most Americans enter buildings using the right door? My point is, the bad guys understand behavior predictability.   We want to avoid danger, but we want to do so with our brain and not our nervous system.

Changing Jobs.

Often, people get into places of employment they can’t tolerate because it was a better place to be than “homeless”.  Even in this example, you ran to a poor choice of employment. (This is assuming they wouldn’t hire you at Microsoft).  So you say to yourself: “At least it’s a paycheck”.  Soon you find that selling rectal thermometers to medical offices is a real pain in the butt. (No pun intended) Your subconscious mind is telling you: “We gotta get out of this place” (If it’s the last thing we ever do).  Using the “Run From” mentality, we often find ourselves leaping from the frying pan into the deep fat fryer.  Here is where the proactive/completion backwards principle comes into play.

You tolerate selling rectal thermometers and do the best job you can.  Even if you are flipping burgers, do the best you can and do not show resentment.  Yet keep your eye on that job at Microsoft or Apple while you’re doing your best at your dead end job.  Doing your best at whatever you do is a good habit to develop.  It speaks more about you than your resume could ever expose.  It also teaches you to appreciate all that you have been blessed with. (A secret to life).  Future employers are quick to pick up on people that have good solid character.

stalked

Escaping Danger

Let me repeat, you always need to be aware of your surroundings.  Whether it be walking from your penthouse to the parking lot, or walking from Fisherman’s wharf to the S.F. police station because your car got towed.  Always be aware of your surroundings.  Even in your car, check that car out in your rear view mirror.  Are they following you home? Many home invasions happen when you are seen at an outdoor ATM.  You’re followed home and not only are you robbed of your withdrawal, but if you look like Angelina Jolie, you can kiss goodbye your jewelry, big screen TV and your virginity.  If you’re lucky, you’ll come out of it alive.

If you suspect you’re being followed, don’t race home. (Running From)  Heaven knows you don’t want to lead the bad guys to your nest.  I would instruct you to make a series of 4 right turns. Again, make sure you know where the turns lead to.  If you see them shadowing you, don’t “RUN FROM” THEM.  “RUN TO” The Police department.  Are you starting to understand the principle?  And should you be in the worst case scenario after the 4 right turns and you’re at a red light or behind traffic, keep them in your rear view mirror and if you see them exiting their vehicle, (being aware of your surroundings) leave room between you and the car in front of you and once they exit the vehicle and come towards you,(usually after a slight rear end collision) make your escape maneuver by passing the cars in front of you, or running the red light.  If you have to, drive up on the side walk while wailing on your car’s horn.

The Bad Relationship

This is a situation that you should always try to avoid.  This situation is often a result of RUNNING FROM LONELINESS and RUNNING TO the UNKNOWN for the sake of companionship or worse: “Low Self-esteem”.  You should never be dependent on someone else.  (This includes the government).  You should go into a relationship standing on your own two feet so you can leave on your own two feet.  It’s like leaving maneuverable space between your car and the car in front of you.  Never the less, human emotions often get us into the social position of selling rectal thermometers. But what’s worse than a miserable job is being abused physically and perhaps mentally by a person you thought loved you.  In this case, as before, that voice is singing the old “Animals” song: “We gotta get outta this place”.  And I would imply that it is a good Idea to have a plan B for the unexpected.  Just like making 4 right turns and leaving space in front of your vehicle, know where you can RUN TO should you need to get away from a bad situation.  Consider your parents’ house if you have them.  Or if you must; consider a shelter for the abused.  But don’t do it because you are running from him or her.  Do it because you are RUNNING TO a safer and more preferable life.  We are spirits in human bodies and we make mistakes.  I truly do believe the only bad mistakes are the ones you do not learn from or “survive”.

In closing I wanted to leave you with this image. In the movies and television, we’ve often seen the scene where the victims are being chased by the bad guys in a 1963 light blue Impala.  The victim or victims are always running straight down the middle of the street or parking lot.  As viewers, we ask ourselves or the person we’re sitting with: “Why don’t they just dash in between that row of cars or jump over that fence?  They always try to outrun that Chevy 350 V8 engine with 400 plus braking horse power.  This is because they are focused on RUNNING FROM the BAD GUYS and not RUNNING TO a SAFE PLACE.

Whether it’s in your car, your workplace, a conflict or your bedroom, always be aware of your surroundings and its’ proximity to your destination.  It’s rarely a bad idea to constantly have a plan “B”.

 

SALVAGE YOUR PAST

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Salvage

How to Salvage your past:

Again, let me quote the late Frank Zappa: “You are what you is”.  Now let me add, hopefully not what you were.  With every new second or breath we should become a better person.  By this I don’t mean necessarily richer or physically superior; rather smarter, more compassionate and understanding.  (And all of the other good qualities that would make you a yen/yang balanced human).

Did you know that people that graduated Phi Beta Kappa have some of the same problems as people that were hungry and neglected growing up?  It’s true.  Sometimes, having your parents lay out your future for you is almost as bad as being raised by wolves.  Your past is a memory.  In fact, by the time your mind processes these words your reading, they will be a memory.  Yet when you look back on your past, think about what has STUCK in your mind.  Was it a horrific abusive ass kicking you got from a supposed loved one?  Or even worse, was it a time of joy and harmony that got ripped from you like someone tearing your heart out?

Whatever the case may be, take some time and go back over the worst aspects of your former life, (because that’s what it is. The person you used to be) and “glean” the good that came from it.  There do not exist any amnesia pills that will make you forget the troublesome aspects of your life.  But once you realize that the past is just a memory, it can’t harm you anymore like it did the first time you fell off off your bicycle.

Depending on your Age, go over your

Developmental years: The time you were dependent on your parents

The Years of finding your footing: When you got your first job and apartment.

The Constructive years:  The years you started contributing to society.

The years of winter: After the divorce, after the nest became empty, and when contemplating or living in retirement.
You can find plenty of great tools and skills/experiences you can hold on to from each of these 4 seasons.  During the developmental years, you can see how what you thought was important then is meaningless now.  You may have feared the death of your parents now you realize that your time is next in the queue and that life for your survivors will go on until it’s their turn.  You can appreciate how important learning is, whether it be your ABCs or the Pythagorean therom.  Learning is valuable.

In your years of standing, you learn how to set achievable goals.  You think about the 5% you retained from College.  You work your way up the ladder of success. (Sometimes finding it against the wrong wall)

In your constructive years, you start to wonder if you’re doing what you are doing for the money or for the contribution to mankind.  You may have done things in your “Job” that help you now such as good communication skills, or Professionalilsm.

Winter: You covet that which is truly important in your life.  It’s something a special few learn from having really wonderful parents who are at that stage of life.  For some reason, I can’t see Ann and Mitt Romney saying: “You better decide quickly because when you turn 18, you’re out of this house”.   And perhaps more than anything, you become more proactive and try to predict unintended consequences. As the result of not staying a step ahead often means falling 3 steps behind.

It’s like going through boxes in the garage and finding that old jacket that still fits.  Or finding a wedding gift that you never appreciated at the time but now you take joy in using it when guests come over.  You don’t always have to remember the fights or bad decisions.  You’re a new person everyday.  Be the best version of yourself you can be.

FAT ASS FRIDAY Vol.1

by in Culture, Fat Ass Fridays, Health, Personal Development | Leave a comment

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YOU & YOUR FAT ASS

Vol. 1 FATS

 

A Majority of Americans today are a good 10 to 60 pounds overweight.  What do I blame it on? No it’s not your love of Ice Cream Sandwiches or Bon Bons; It’s the thing you’re starring at, but more so the thing your Fat Ass is sitting on.

When we were blessed with the era of information, we were also shifted into the era of sedentary labor.  Now what use to take 4 guys with Schwarzenegger arms, now can be done by a 110 pound female with the help of a robotic arm.  Yep, that back seat to your new car can glide into place with just a little guidance from one human arm.

Instead of having to climb into an air duct to check humidity and vacuum, all you have to do is pull down a computer menu attached to probes in the duct and you can do it all from your cushy chair.

The new industrial injury has shifted from the low back or lumbar disc damage to “Carpal Tunnel Syndrome”, “Obesity”, “Hypertension” and a “plethora of anal conditions”. Seriously, I’ve written several articles on taking really good care of your ass if you sit on it all day.

YOU DON’T WANT RECTAL SURGERY.  Hemorrhoids OUCH, Anal Fistulas DOUBLE OUCH.  And it’s not the condition, it’s the ugly surgery and recovery.  This is why you need to pull up a bar stool, (Or stand) at the Café Americain on Fridays.  I’m going to help you get rid of that FAT ASS.

Before I start the HOW TO part; I need to reprogram your brain.  I’m not going to talk about diets or weight loss programs.  KNOWLEDGE is POWER. So for Volume 1 just want to focus on FAT.

FATS: Taste really good.  You’ll find it in Ice Cream, Red Meat, even my favorite sustenance Peanuts. Now don’t freak out on me, but there’s good fats and bad fats.

First: Bad Fats.  These are “Poly-saturated” fats. It means that the molecule that make up the fat are small and sticky.  What happens when you run fine sticky sand through Tubing with fine holes in it?  The holes clog and fat builds up.

Now the Good Fats.  Yes it is an Oxymoron.  You should avoid fats if possible but most of the culinary arts do not.  So if you’re going to buy oil to cook with.  Buy extra Virgin Olive oil.  It’s what is called Mono-saturated.  What happens if you put large rocks through that same tubing that has been clogged with the fine sand?  It tends to push it out of the tubing.

So it’s important that you look at the labels and see what kind of fat you’re eating.  Peanuts are rich in fat, but it’s mainly mono-saturated fat.

I’ll try to keep this simple because I know most of you have not studied biophysics, but when you hear your doctor talk about good cholesterol and bad cholesterol; he or she is talking about good and bad fats.  Only the scientific term is called “Lipids”.  (As in Lip-o-suction) with this in mind; now you can understand HDL cholesterol and LDL cholesterol.  AKA “high density lipids” and “low density lipids”.  Low density lipids or fat is like spackle.  It sticks to your tubes, only in this case we’ll call them arteries and veins.  High density lipids are like toilet bowl brushes.  They lower the amount of LDL building up in your arteries.  Pills like Lipitor are the equivalent of Draino.  After 10 years of use, we’ve found that Drano can rot your delicate tubes. (Lipitor or “statins” can damage your muscles, the companies don not deny this). BTW, your heart is a big muscle.  So the principle you want to remember is:

 

DON’T EAT POLY-SATURATED FATS.   

Pardon the pun but, “chew on this info for a while”.  We’ll talk about Carbs and Proteins soon.  But I do not want to over load your mind.  Lastly I want to talk about what fats are good for.

First: They usually taste really good. Second: If you survive a plane crash and you’re in the wilderness looking for food, your fat acts as a reserve form of sustanence.  I’m not saying it makes you superman/woman but it’s been shown that fat people are usually the last to starve to death.  On the other hand, healthy people are in a better position to find and catch or gather food.