AFTER YOU DIE

August 25, 2014 by Ace in Culture, Media, Personal Development, Spiritual Relilgion | Leave a comment

AND BEFORE YOU’RE BORN

There exists a place void of “space-time” as Einstein would call it.

I’ve been gathering my thoughts after the decapitation of the young and brave journalist James Foley at the evil hands of some psychotic extremist who is probably just mad at his father and hasn’t grown up yet. From what Mr. Foley’s brother said, he thought James volunteered to go first as a human sacrifice.

But where is James NOW? We know his body is probably still being abused in Syria but James is alive in the cosmos somewhere. The question is where. I know that the energy that is used to power the human body can easily power a city for a week. If you don’t believe me, go into a “clean” room where they work on microchips. Besides wearing “non-static” clean suits, they wear shoe covers and in some cases, bracelets that ground the technicians so they’re body’s static electricity doesn’t fry a whole board. Yes, the human soul is the main stay of human life. The body is simply a meat Jacket.

I’ve looked upon the body as a random rental car that you’re stuck with during your incarnate existence. I have a feeling that your rental body and mission could be determined by your previous rental excursions. (That’s just my belief) You don’t get to pick the color, the body style, and in some cases, (like rental cars) you get a car that is going to have problems. But unlike the nice people at Hertz, (sarcasm alert) you can’t return it. But once the car runs out of gas or becomes un-drivable or uninhabitable; it’s time to visit the rental counter.

I’ve rented easily over a hundred cars and I’ve driven them in some strange places like Peoria IL, Ft. Myers FLA, Manchester CN and even Misquamicut Beach R.I. (I had to work my Brain too damn hard to remember that place). But I had a mission when driving my rental car at each of those places. Some places were enjoyable, like playing in San Antonio. It will always have a “special place” in my heart. It was a huge stage and the audience was packed with blondes by Clorox. I also played in a little place called Rheinlander WI. Not much to talk about but the people loved it. My analogy is, I tried to get better with each visit and I had little control over where I played. Most of the time I tried to get a white Mustang convertible. But sometimes I had to drive a Black Crown Victoria and sometimes I had to drive a Blue Toyota.

Regardless of the make, model or location these cars all have one thing in common now (with the exception of the last couple of Camaros I’ve rented) is that all the rentals of the past are in scrap heaps somewhere. They’re flat pancakes waiting to be turned into toasters. Using application; I would think that my current rental will be land fill along the California coast (somewhere). Like all of the other rental cars I’ve driven, they were only needed to get me to and from my mission.

Sometimes when I can’t sleep or am not tired I visit www.NDERF.org and read about people who have died and been resuscitated. In the most recent batch of testimonies, they all had one theme in common. It was so ubiquitous that it inspired this article. A majority of them claimed that they were told: “You can’t stay, you still have things to do”. I wondered what that was all about. Were they being returned for their edification or were they needed back in the incarnate realm to help someone else? “God works in mysterious ways”!

If you use the analogy of the rental car, you realize that if you can’t return the rental car, you need to take good care of it if you want it to get you back to the rental counter. When I look back at the many Mustangs I rented from Hertz, I cannot remember one from the other. I do remember where I drove them and what my purpose was, but arriving in a White Mustang was never my purpose to be where I was going. Looking back on the performances I gave, I think it even goes deeper than the performances. I think, (Keyword) that when I get this rental back to the counter, I’ll be asked a series of questions such as how did this trip change you? I don’t know what I am here to learn but I feel that my existence here is no accident. Is my “Life Experience” the only way of improving my spiritual being”? I don’t think my parents had me, I think I chose them; and yes Rick Derringer, I think you did ask to be born!

James Foley’s early death was not in vain. He exposed evil to the world. I don’t know if they told him this at the rental counter when they gave him the keys to his rental and told him which model he was taking. If we are pre-destined in this life then James Foley is what is referred to as a “Brave Soul”. On this play ground called earth, James showed all the other kids on the playground the bully on the monkey bars.

If we think of the real James Foley as being the electrical source (soul/spirit) that operates the rental meat Jacket, then James is back home receiving his: “Well done, faithful servant”.

To ISIS, be warned that the wrath of God (and others) are coming for you. Instead of receiving a: “Well done”, you will be told: “Keep moving” and sent to the scrap yard along with your rental. Perhaps you will make a better toaster. Perhaps you will be reincarnated as the termite pest that you are. I do not know. I’ve only read that: “Vengeance is Mine”. (Thus sayeth the Lord).

From my readings of the Bible, when we come home, we get to pick our rentals only we get the pink slips so they’re not rentals and they’re not rental meat jackets. They’re spiritual bodies that do not run out of gas or break down.

The key (no pun intended) is that you need to know how to drive it!

Gutfeld Comments on Red Skin

August 19, 2014 by Ace in Culture, History | Leave a comment

Kudos to Fox’s Greg Gutfeld from the Five for bringing to America’s attention the struggles of the Native American or “American Indian”. While the other four were arguing about the name of Washington Red Skins of the National Football League, Greg mentioned that 3 Native American youths a day commit suicide. I was not aware of this terrible statistic.

With statistics like that haunting the ethnic group that holds the pink slip on this country, you would think that this issue would be more of a concern than the logo on a Football team’s helmet. I am part Native American and have no issues at all with the name. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that I’m man enough to accept the logo because life has more important issues like 3 young indigenous youths committing suicide a day. As a Native American, I understand and respect that which the “White Man” or western European has brought to this country.

As a native American, I thank God that it was not Communist China or Russia that created a nation out of the many Indian Nations. Sure, I’m not in denial of the trail of tears, but the Western Europeans brought inventions that would make life healthier for the Native American Race. Unfortunately the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. After the death and destruction that was imposed upon the indigenous people of North America, civil rights groups felt they had a gold mind on their hands in reparations. So now, if you’re predominantly Native American, you can ride the government Tax payer from birth to the final resting place.

This is Ironic for a proud, brave and life loving Race that were responsible for their own demise out of their own kindness to these strange white human creatures. If you truly want to see the common effects of pure socialism, visit an “Indian Colony” aka “Reservation”. When you do not have to work for your possessions, you tend not to appreciate them. Native Americans had to overcome the odds of survival without AR-15s. They had to kill their meals or die of starvation. Now they’re killing themselves because of no self-esteem. The great American experiment of self reliability and self accountability which was influenced by the Native American led to self governance. We need to continue to learn from the Native American and take note of the bi-product of cradle to grave socialism.

So as the politically correct fight about the cosmetic problems involving the Native American and football logos or baseball logos, the death spiral/genocide that comes with complete socialism will render the American Indian extinct and we will be telling our children exactly how the Cleveland Indians, Washington Redskins and Atlanta Braves got their names. By then, the only Native Americans left will be the fakes like Elizabeth Warren who lied about being “Part” Native American to get into a certain University. We have a Black History Month, why not get rid of that and take a month with 31 days in it and call it True Americans month? Oh I forgot, the Indian is the little bastard child who gets sent to his room when company comes over.

Red Skin is Beautiful. Socialism is Death.

NO PITY FOR SUICIDE

August 18, 2014 by Ace in Culture, Media, Spiritual Relilgion | Leave a comment

Shepherd Smith of Fox News is not the first person to call suicide a cowardly act. From the survivors point of view; it’s like taking your ball and going home. On the other hand, I wonder how many Congressional medals of Honor have been awarded posthumously to the brave Marine that threw his body on a grenade to keep the rest of his squad from being killed by shrapnel. So those who can’t cope with the pressures of life are cowards, and those who “Take one for the team” are heroes. The difference is one is a sacrifice for the greater good and the other is an inability to deal with the greater “whatever”.

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES

When a person gets to the point of saying “screw it all”; all they can see is the pain that they are trying to escape. They think they’re a loser because they might not be able to afford a new IPhone for their child because they just got laid off. But what will happen when you cut your wrist and little Billy comes home from school and finds his deceased father on the couch and his blood soaked through the carpet? Do you think that image is ever going to leave little Billy’s memory? I know what it’s like to have to move a dead body. I couldn’t kill myself because I wouldn’t want to be a burden on the EMTs let alone the poor person who found me. They have to roll the body to one side and slide a body bag under half the body, then roll the other side up to put the other half of the body in the bag. Sometimes (for those who need to go out using drama and a gun) they have to gather what’s left of your head and keep it with the body. I just couldn’t do it.

A lot of people truly are cowards that go out by using someone else. For example “Suicide by cop”. If you walk into a police station with a weapon drawn and you get taken out; you’ve put the guilt of your death on the cop who dropped you. Or let’s say you get dramatic and you take a hostage. (That’s sure to get a sniper’s attention) You’ve ruined the life of the sniper and the hostage (Not to mention those who were around the scene at the time of the shooting).

Some people take others with them.

A lot of people think that driving into an oncoming MAC truck is an easy way out. What about the truck driver? He’s going to slam the brakes on and possibly rupture his spleen. He might even flatten the Prius that was behind you.

Then there’s the insurance. Most life insurances do not cover suicide. So you’ve just left a huge financial mess for your beloved survivors to deal with. But the troubled mind doesn’t think of that and if they do; it only makes them feel like more of a loser.

I was shocked when people thought the pilot of the Malaysian 777 flight that disappeared committed suicide taking 300 people with him. That’s not only suicide but homicide. What bothers me is that we, as a culture, have become so desensitized to the horror of murder that we don’t see it for the terrible “sin” that it truly is. We are all related to one another. What happens to one, in some way affects us all. The television stations have no problems showing dead humans on the tube. In the past the FCC would never allow it. Now with You Tube you can go on the net and watch human decapitations. Just as watching pornography takes the beauty and romance out of sex, seeing a life being taken takes a bit of the value and respect out of living.

Everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe we are all given the gift of free will and a brain. How we choose to use it will reflect on where we end up 100 years from now. I’m not claiming that good people will have it better than bad people. But what we do in the here and now has consequences. Yes Sir Newton, for every action there is a reaction or even worse; a chain reaction.

Suicide answers nothing but causes a lot of pain and grief for those whom you didn’t intend to inflict it on. It’s my belief that God will reward you for allowing Him to use you. If you use your free will to “check out” before your time, I would be afraid of the consequences in the next place.

EVERYTHING HAS A CONSEQUENCE.

The oxygen you breathe turns to Carbon Dioxide. That casual sarcastic insult can change a peaceful person into a potential killer. Taking your own life is killing something that may or may not belong to you. If the consequence is not served in this realm of reality, fear the possibility of the consequence in the future spiritual realm.

ARE YOU IN THE NEXT FERGUSON?

August 16, 2014 by Ace in Culture | Leave a comment

This article will not reference any minorities

I had never even heard of Ferguson, Misery, I’m sorry Missouri. In fact having toured the entire U.S. and Canada, I would say without a doubt that besides Birmingham Alabama, St. Louis is the last city I would want to be stuck in. Yes, John, I’d rather be stuck in Lodi.

I would have to say that most of my really smart friends are physicians.(As in MDs) and I’ve actually heard this phrase more than once. “I’m having a hard time understanding that culture”. To be honest I can’t recall the last time the National Guard was called out to deal with angry Caucasians. When reporters covering the “looting” in Ferguson talk about the National Guard, they immediately reference the riots in Watts. (Los Angeles). Does anyone recall the Riots in that same city in1992? I think Reginald Denny, an innocent white truck driver is still looking for parts of his brain or grey matter on the corner of Florence and Normandy.

What was scary about the 1992 Riots were that we saw miniature copycat riots pop up all across the country. Hell even Toronto had riots in the street. Another scary thing to remember about the 92 L.A. riots were that people “Thought” they were rioting with impunity. People with color TVs over their shoulders were giving interviews to KABC and saying Hi mom. Some of them even introduce themselves and said what part of L.A. they were from. When asked by intrepid reporters: “Don’t you know what you’re doing is wrong”? The looters, (almost all of them) would counter: “Why not? It’s Free”!

What we see happening in Ferguson MO is not a result of a Massive child the size of a door frame getting shot by a policeman, but a result of 6 years of false empowerment. We remember the oxy moronic statement: “I don’t know the facts, but the Cambridge Police acted stupidly”. Mr. President, if you didn’t know the facts how can you determine that the Police acted stupidly unless you have an inherent hate for the police? We see “Flash Mobs” where a certain composition goes on an organized, premeditated “looting spree”.

Cities with a particular composition will be rioting this weak end. I am afraid this might be the spark that has lit the fuse. Yes I believe the fuse was lit six years ago. Let us all pray this administration doesn’t rush to martial law. And please note that throughout this article I only referenced one ethnicity.

Caucasians.

HOW TO SCORE A HOT DATE

August 15, 2014 by Ace in Culture, Hot Chicks, Personal Development | Leave a comment

This is a True Story ~ Operation Queen Bee

(The names have been changed to protect me)

Oh and none of the pics are of people in the real story.

I’ll tell you a cool short story and hopefully it will change your life. I’ll keep the locations and characters fictitious because it’s an ugly story of a cruel person with beautiful looks that treated her ex like shit and was on the road to being an upper scale trophy wife/home wrecker. If you (home wrecker) are reading this. (I can’t even remember your name) you know who you are. BUT my plan worked. Also remember, I’m an old fashion romancer. I open doors for ladies. I pull out their chairs in restaurants and I pick up the tab.

BREEZER: Definition – The person that never has to ask someone if they will go out on a date. Only concern is which suitor to say yes to and which ones to turn down.

(Ace’s dictionary)

Years ago in a land before 9/11; I was at a new place of employment. This place had one beautiful female who worked there three times a week. I could tell she knew she was the queen of the office and it was common knowledge that she was having an affair with one of the big hitters that ran the place. We’ll call him Mr. Money bags.

When speaking to a male co-worker; he told me, ah forget about her, she’s having an affair with Mr. Money Bags. You don’t stand a chance with her. Now I’m no Rob Lowe but I took that as a challenge and I said: “Billy, I’ll bet you a six pack of Heinekens (It was that long ago) that in six months I’ll have her flirting/begging for ME. He took the deal and six months later I took his beer.

So what was my plan? How did I get the hottest chick (I only use the term “chick” because this article will be filed under “Hot chicks”)? It was simple.

I ignored this person.

Not in a rude way, but in a “I don’t find you attractive” way. I could see that this person, in spite of being a breezer, was insecure. “Look at me. Look at how pretty I am” (I’m sorry, hot) Look at how hot I am”. I would act like a gentleman. I would joke with my close co-workers, but when she came around, I would pretend to be serious and professional.

In three months I was getting back rubs from this person and I use to joke with her about her sexually harassing me. You have to make it clear that you’re heterosexual. Otherwise, they will think that you must be gay not to be attracted to them. (Especially since I worked around a lot of alternative lifestyle co-workers) So it’s important that they hear you say something of this nature, (And I think this was the bomb that hit the target) I said: “His wife is Hot”. I was referring to a famous person we had in the office. I wish I could tell you who the person was because good lord was I putting moves on this guy’s wife before I knew it was his wife. I think that pissed the queen bee off as well.

Three or four months of not engaging in conversation other than “How do you do” or “Have a nice weekend” I started to see her hanging around my door. She was asking me questions like “What are you doing”? “What kind of project are you working on”? Then when she heard Mr. Money Bags walk into the building, she would quickly say: “Gotta go, nice talking to you”. (As if she got a certain excitement out of it) I would reply: “Yeah, yeah, yeah”. After she left I would smile to myself.

It was almost like watching a trout bump the bait with his nose.

(Do fish have noses)?

Fast forward two months, her actions were becoming so pretentious and obvious that Billy paid up one morning. I wasn’t even expecting it but he had seen the escapades. He said I don’t know how you did it. I replied, Billy, insecure people are never happy with what they have. They always want what they can’t have. If you’re used to getting your way and someone ignores you, deep inside, your ego is saying: “But how come this person doesn’t want me”? It had gotten so obvious that Mr. Money Bags didn’t want me around. He saw me as a threat to his “fun on the side”. (And I was single).

Now for the ugly part. I didn’t know it, but I knew her ex-husband. I didn’t know it until I had been playing this game for about 4 months. But her husband had been a friend of mine from my military days. He was a good looking guy but he was a NICE guy. I can’t help but think that his niceness repulsed this person. It’s not uncommon for breezers to resent people that respect them. But this repulsed me quite a bit. Any thoughts of wanting to do anything outside of the office with this female made my stomach hurt. Mainly because I could see myself as her ex-husband.

About 8 months into operation Queen Bee, we contracted with a female Ms. Money bags/Queen bee. She was married and I respected that, but I would flirt sarcastically with her and she would flirt back. This really lit the fuse with the Home wrecking Queen Bee so much that she tried to get me fired. I think they refer to this as the: “If I can’t have you, nobody can” mentality. So the office had turned into one huge social battlefield.

So what’s the moral of this sad story?

Sometimes experience can save you from becoming someone’s disposable partner. Some people are so insecure even when it seems they have everything going for them. But as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes: “It’s better to appreciate what you have than to worry about that which you don’t”. Just look around at how many people aren’t happy unless they have someone else to worry about. (As in the Queen Bee). This defines Groucho Marx’s joke when he said: “I would never want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member”.

In Closing

Sadly, an old friend who use to confide everything in me was cheating on his wife. They were both my friends. After their divorce, the wife stopped by my house after I had gotten married and said: “He was much happier and fun to be around when he had a girlfriend on the side”. But little did he realize how his actions had a chain reaction of unintended consequences. That’s the problem of thinking you can have your cake and eat it too. People are not cars you can trade in for the “upgraded” new model. Personally, I love my 30 year old Porsche and would never sell it for a brand new McLaren.

Life is not a beauty contest and not all beauty is physical.

Bacall, Robin and Suicide

August 14, 2014 by Ace in Arts and Entertainment, Culture | 1 Comment

LAUREN BACALL

Being the Casablanca fan that I am, I wanted to remind the masses (The 1% of the smartest population that read my writings) That Lauren Bacall (Born Betty Joan Perske) died as well on August 12^th 2014. Lauren Bacall was a teen model that was highly sought after in Hollywood. Much to her unfairness, she is mostly known as Bacall, as in; Bogie and Bacall. Lauren was what I describe as a “breezer”. She was born beautiful and that in its’ self will open many doors for you. You will never have to ask someone for a date, just decide who to say yes to.

She was cast in the role of Humphrey Bogart’s leading lady in the 1944 film “To have and to have not”. During the filming of the movie, Bogart who was in a miserable relationship with his third wife Mayo Methot, began seeing Lauren discreetly. If you read the last article on infidelity, you read that at the same time Bogart was filming with Lauren Bacall (Who was 19 years old while Bogie was 44) Bogie was having an affair with Verita Thompson.

On a side note, the director of “To have and have not”. Howard Hawks, (also married) became quite fond of Ms. Bacall as well and was envious, even jealous of the Bogie/Bacall relationship. He went so far as to threaten to send Bacall to Monogram which was the worst studio in Hollywood. Eventually Jack Warner stepped in and settled things. 12 days after Bogie’s divorce to Maya Methot was final, Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart were united in Holy Matrimony. Bogie would continue his relationship/affair with Verita Thompson.

ROBIN WILLIAMS

I never met Robin Williams but we had the same acting instructor. Pat Lusk taught night classes in the San Francisco East Bay’s “Chabot College” and also at “The College of Marin”. Most of us knew of Robin long before his HBO special and long before he played Mork on the hit TV show “Mork and Mindy”. I had seen Robin perform at the Warfield theater on a special bootleg video. Robin was to comedy as Jimi Hendrix was to guitarists. He changed the nature of the genre forever. Nobody has come close to Robin’s raw talent and Nobody will for a long time.

Having seen Robin’s performance, one night when asked to do “Improvisation” I stole some of Robin Williams’ shtick. My acting in instructor said after my outrageously destructive “Manic” act, “Mr. Andres, there is only one Robin Williams and he’s beat you to that performance”. This is when she let on that Robin was a student of hers at the College of Marin. I might add that she said that as talented as Robin was, he had a great dislike for Shakespeare. In his HBO special which launched him worldwide, he mocks Shakespeare with a line where he says: “Look, the moon like a testicle hangs low in the sky”.

Robin use to enjoy the Philly Cheese Steak sandwiches at the original Bay Area “Philly Cheese steak Shop” On Divisadero Street in San Francisco. The staff that worked there said Robin use to come in on Wednesdays and was just another guy.

I won’t go into the disappointment phase of Robin’s life. You can read about his affair and his reaction to his first movie (Popeye) in the National Enquirer. One observation that I will confirm is that Robin was openly accused (in the bay area) as being addicted to Cocaine. This came as no surprise to anyone who ever saw Robin either acting or on the sidewalk. Making people laugh just came natural to Robin.

Robin was a 21^st century Pagliacci. Pagliacci was an Opera that premiered in 1892 and was the inspiration for Smoky Robinson’s “The Tears of a Clown” I apologize if this analogy is being overused.

SUICIDE

I’ll keep my thoughts on the subject brief as I am not a Psychiatrist and if anyone is reading this is considering the topic, please talk to someone. Do not feel embarrassed. A poll was taken of Suicide survivors and over 90% of them said that once they had “Jumped” or “ingested the overdose” they realized that the problems they faced were all fixable. I don’t know what that means, so take it for what it’s worth.

I will not judge those who attempt suicide. It’s like a black man telling a white affluent man that he can’t talk about what life in the ghetto is like. Until you’ve been on the verge of wanting to end your life, you are not qualified to judge others. When I heard Shepherd Smith remark that Robin Williams’ suicide was an act of a coward, it made me quite angry. This is a definition of Suicide that you can take to the bank:

“Suicide is a result of life’s demands outweighing one’s ability to COPE with them”.

All of us deal with stress and depression by using some form of a “coping mechanism”. Some use alcohol, others drugs, others sex, many television and some just sleep. When I was 16, my mother had died 5 years earlier. I was different from the other kids in school that had moms that made their lunch and went to PTA meetings and helped them with their homework. Living with my father was like living with a stock broker that couldn’t be disturbed. He and I had almost nothing in common except baseball. I use to engage in Television as my coping mechanism.

One of my favorite TV Shows in 1971 was a Western called “Alias Smith and Jones”. It was about two former Bank Robbers trying to go straight. The main actors were Ben Murphy (Jones) and Peter Duel (Smith) On December 31^st 1971, Peter Duel was found dead as a result of gunshot wound to the head. It was determined to be a self-inflicted wound as Duel’s girlfriend saw him take his gun from the Bedroom and later was awakened by the gun shots. I was shaken by this. Having lost my mother (and the rest of my family which went their separate ways) I began to think if ending my life was a possible answer to my misery.

I was lucky to have a friend in High School that I ate lunch with every day and I was asking him questions about suicide. One day he said to me: “You’re not considering suicide are you”? And I stuttered in shame and said: “Oh no, I’m just thinking about Peter Duel’s death”. There would be other times when the thought crossed my mind, but I guess my attitude was one of apathy. It’s funny because in his special, “The making of a dummy” ventriloquist Jeff Dunham mentions the same line I told my counselor. I wouldn’t kill myself (Too many unintended consequences) but if I was in a plane that crashed or was diagnosed with a terminal illness ~ Oh well……

My advice to those contemplating suicide would be this. Life may suck now, but sometimes, and for reasons you can’t explain, life changes. It’s like sitting in a baseball stadium and out of 40,000 fans, a foul ball comes to your box seat. You don’t know why it came to you out of 40,000 seats. In life; Good things and bad things happen. Bad things happen to really good people and often, those who deserve prison end up winning law suits or the lottery. Life is not fair. But when you decide to end your own life, you eliminate the chances of something really good coming your way. Why would you want to do that?

We’re only here on this spinning blue ball for a very short time (relatively speaking). Go with it and see what happens. Plus who’s to say that suicide is guaranteed to cut your chains of bondage?

“Go through life EXPECTING good things to happen to you”.

WHY LOVERS CHEAT

August 12, 2014 by Ace in Culture, Hot Chicks, Personal Development | Leave a comment

We don’t want what we don’t have; rather that which we can’t have. ~ Ace Andres

In 1994 Robert Wright wrote a profound book called: “The Moral Animal”.. The book’s premise was: “Man was meant to fall in love, but not designed to stay in love. I would recommend the book but Wright uses Darwinism way too much for my recommendation. But if you sift through the theories of “Sexual Dimorphisms”, there are some thought provoking pearls. By the way, Dimorphism is a theory that species which have more physical parody in the sexes is similar to their desire for a non-monogamous relationship. For example, Apes are at the top of the mammal spectrum when it comes to the difference in size of the average male and average female. On the far right side of the spectrum you have little Gibbon’s monkeys. They are identical in the size of the male and female and subsequently are monogamous. This is where the meat of Sexual Dimorphism lays.

In the late 80s or early 90s when the term Supermodel was first coined, I asked myself an honest question: “If you could have anyone you chose as a mate/spouse; who would you pick”? My answer was not what I wanted to hear. In the late 70s Woody Allen wrote the movie Annie Hall. In the movie he quotes Groucho Marx’s great line: “I would never want to be in a club that would have me as a member”. As funny and self-deprecating as the joke is, it does tragically touch on the root of man’s (the human race) desire for infidelity. That would be simply, insecurity.

So who would I have wanted back in 1991 if I had the pick of the universe? I was honest enough to understand that if I chose Cindy Crawford, I knew deep in my heart, that it wouldn’t be long before I would want Gina Lee Nolan. If by chance I had Gina Lee also, I would then want Elle MacPherson, and so on then so on. This brings us back to Robert Wright.

Wright uses Darwinism to suggest that “Man” (The male sex) has an inherent need to spread the seeds of his DNA in multiple partners for the survival of the name. Woman on the other hand, pretty much is always on the lookout for the BBD or Bigger, Better, Deal. In this case Wright is talking about the ability to provide and in certain cases the ability to protect. Even if it means “sharing” her mate with another female. (See Mormon wives)

TV show “My five Wives”

Infidelity is far from a new activity. In the Old Testament, King David, the child that killed the Giant “Goliath”, The Man after God’s heart took one of his military officers’ wife and banged her while her hubby “Uriah” was at war with the Philistines. It’s all in 2^nd Samuel chapter 11. Now being a male I have to try to defend the adulterer and give the excuse many bible scholars use.

When David brought the “Arch of the covenant” into Jerusalem, he was dancing like a hippie at a grateful dead concert. Upon entering his kingdom, his better half told him that he looked like a Jack Ass dancing in the street. I can only imagine the scene of Elaine from Seinfeld dancing at the office holiday party. The Bible scholars say this stuck in King David’s ego and when he had sex with Bathsheba, it was an act of retribution. Personally, I think David did it because Bathsheba was hot and he could. And to quote Mel Brooks: “It’s good to be King”. I do feel that it is my Christian duty to say that the king’s actions did not go unpunished.

I believe that we fall in love because the feeling of affection is our first conscious positive human emotion. So we have been hard wired to “want” unconditional love. So once we find it; why are we not content with the source of our affection? Setting Darwin aside; I think men and women always have that unfulfilled question of: “Could I have done better”? Is “Spirituality” the bond that keeps a couple together till death do they part?

If King David (A man after God’s heart) could not resist the temptations of the flesh, how is Joe Lunch Bucket supposed to fight the urge when the opposite sex is practically “presenting” in a nature like fashion? I firmly believe that we bring it on ourselves, (subconsciously). I’ve actually had to say: “I’m happily married”. I would be lying if I said it was easy to say. But knowing the principle of cause and effect, it didn’t take me long to come to that conclusion. Maybe that’s it?

Perhaps the potential cheater wants to see if they can “get away with it”? Many shop lifters do it for the thrill of “getting away with it”. Look at Winona Ryder. She could have bought the stores that she shop lifted from, yet she did it anyway. I think deep inside, they want to get caught. It goes back to negative attention you got when you cried as an infant.

Some of the things that amaze me about infidelity are people’s attitudes towards the cheater. I read an interview in the late 70s with one of Rod Stewarts beautiful ex-wives (I guess that’s redundant isn’t it)? Whom said: “I couldn’t respect Rod if I could trust him”. HUH?

That brings up another question that is just as absurd. Why would Hugh Grant, (an attractive actor) who was cohabitating at the time with the unbelievably gorgeous actress Elizabeth Hurley get caught on the Strip in Hollywood receiving oral sex from the prostitute “Devine Brown” I’m unable to confirm DB’s true gender? Could I cheat on Elizabeth Hurley? Maybe but not with Devine Brown. No, Never, not even upon pain of death.

Hollywood couples are like coupons, they should come with an expiration date on them. Why is it that an actor or musician can’t be truly monogamous? I think I can understand it the first time around. Once you’ve attained fame, that’s a hard thing for your partner to deal with. The same partner that’s been with you for years is now that person in the background. With few exceptions like Rhea Pearlman and Danny DeVito. It seems like once you make it in La-La, you’ll be divorced and married to the person that was your leading co-star in your break through film. You wouldn’t believe how many people I THOUGHT were married once that are Hollywood stars that had a secret first spouse. For example, I thought Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson were a first time couple. Nope! Tom apparently was married prior to his fame and left his former wife along with his former obscure life.

I can remember the first time I ever heard that Bogie had a mistress. It was in 1982 and I was watching a documentary on Humphrey Bogart. (As you can tell by the name of this magazine, I’m a Bogie fan. Although married four times, most recently to Lauren Bacall (1945-1957). He had an affair with the former actress/wig maker named Verita Thompson for 13 years, whom Bogart had on his staff as a secretary. When seen by the press leaving the airport, Bogie use to joke about how he and his mistress had to leave. Everyone thought Bogart was joking including Mrs. Bogart who would have the mistress over for dinner many times, and even talk to on a daily basis while Bogart was on set.

What I find interesting about the Thompson/Bogart affair is that Bogie started his relationship with Thompson while married to his third wife Mayo Methot. During that time the secret affair was kept silent while Bogart married Lauren Bacall. Thompson claimed to be upset when 12 days after Bogie’s divorce from Methot was final, he married Lauren Bacall.

Remember this was in 1945. Morals were not as they are today. There were no Brad, Jennifer and Angelinas in the public’s eye. Talk of an affair could ruin an actor’s career. In Bogart and Thompson’s situation, Thompson was married to a film technician named Robert Peterson.

But today, once you make it in Hollywood, people throw themselves at you. The successful one needs to remember that there are two types of people in Hollywood. Those trying to be discovered. And those trying to marry into money. I’m not saying that those trying to marry into money have a premeditated plan to take the money and house via divorce, but it does happen.

Finding success in the public’s eye is like getting rid of the cubicle and getting a corner office with a big oak desk. Consider the corner office the new partner and the old cubicle the person you left for the corner office. And many times I can understand why a person would divorce their former spouse.

I do not condone divorce, but I use the term understand. If your spouse of 15 years is telling you that you’ll never make it, and your ship finally comes in, what loyalty do you owe the non-believer that you supported? I’ll bet if you asked the typical Kevin Costner type actor why they got divorced, somewhere in there you’re going find that the seeds of the divorce were sowed long before success came. I would go so far as to say that success came in spite of the marriage. Occasionally you’ll find someone that gets the moniker as Hollywood’s family man. Mel Gibson was the last star to occupy the throne. But in 2011 he got divorced and now has a “Partner”.

Why do people cheat? The answers are as plentiful as what is for lunch. They say: “Variety is like a buffet of life” Yet we all know what happens to the food once the fire is gone from the buffet table. Sometimes the one night stand can save a marriage. Sometimes a 13 year affair can save a marriage. Did Bogart not love Lauren Bacall from 1945 till his death in 1957, I believe he did. Did he love Verita Thompson/Peterson? I doubt it. If he did, he would have married her once his divorce to Methot was final.

Often we see public couples and even our friends get divorced or their affairs are not so secret. Every case is different but all of them are none of our business. If your friend is having an affair and comes to you for advice, I would say that is between them and their current spouse or partner. If you do encourage one action or the other, you then become a part of the problem.

If you’re reading this and you’re in an affair or considering an affair, I would tell you to ask yourself WHY would you want to ruin someone else’s life? If you’re married and they’re single, are you just using them? If you’re single and they’re married, are you a home wrecker? If the marriage is rocky and you think divorce is inevitable, it’s best to stay out of it until its’ over. Even then, you need to stay away for a period of time.

Some affairs are like aspirins. The person married is using the affair as a method of coping with a bad marriage. The truth is, the person should be seeing a counselor or a doctor. When we cheat, we’re engaging in an act that is nothing to be proud of. We’re trying to “Cheat” the system. When you do that, you forget about the unintended consequences. Children get hurt the most. Parents are forced to pick sides. Nobody is perfect. Rarely does a person in a really good relationship cheat unless it is because of hubris. Unfortunately, the good relationship in today’s culture is becoming rare as well.

We make a lot of bad decisions when we’re young. A lot of the time it’s marriage to a person you know very little about. The desire to cheat is normal in a relationship that is not fulfilling. Some people are never fulfilled with one person and should not be married.

Fidelity alone does not define a relationship. Forgiveness is divine. In the end, you will have to answer for your decisions. Make good ones. And by the way. Ice cream melts, roses lose their petals and that attractive person ages.

OWNING A CLASSIC CAR

August 10, 2014 by Ace in Arts and Entertainment, Culture, Hot Chicks | Leave a comment

When I was young, I grew up with a father that was out of the apartment before I woke up and gone until about 8:00PM (2000 for you in Europe). So I had to wake up and get my ass ready for school. I had to walk half way across town every morning, and maybe catch a ride home with a friend (Mate) in the evening. At the age of 15, I noticed a car parked in front of the local pharmacy every morning. It was a Porsche 914. It was different. But it looked as cool as I could imagine a street car to look. So for a year I had to walk by this car which almost seem to flirt with me.

Just a quick reminder; I came from a family that was affluent only to lose it all when the matriarch of the family became an alcoholic. When Mom died, the rats abandoned ship. My siblings married or enlisted. So it was just myself and my father for about 5 years living in upper scale poverty. What sucked was I knew the difference. I can understand it all now and have gotten over the bitterness and realize that sometimes A+B = Shit happens.

But I remembered the name P-O-R-S-C-H-E and I’ve wanted a 914 most of my life. Over the years, I’ve owned an MGC (An MGB w/ a 6 cylinder engine) this was before the internet and parts were impossible to find. That alone made this car expensively impossible to keep road worthy. Now, I could email someone in Coventry U.K. and they would respond: “Sure mate, I’ve got a set of those in the back yard”.

WORKING MY WAY UP THE AUTOMOTIVE FOOD CHAIN

1968 MG-C (6 cylinder)

Owning the MG was a love hate relationship. It was the most exciting hill climbing car I have ever owned. I LOVED that. On the other hand, it broke down in Altamont, California. (Amongst other obscure places). One night it broke down on a date, which would have been cool had I not been stressed out. But any car with real leather interior will keep your date relaxed until you can find the coil plug that came undone. Then you can forget about the kiss good night as the shop rag you kept in the back never got your forearms clean.

THE 1978 BMW 320i duo

Fast forward past the Divorce. I went from one BMW 320I to another 320I. They were perfect because you can drive them until it’s time to throw them away. I threw two away. They were BMWs and that’s about all I can say about them. I got them cheap and drove each one for about 3 years. I would not call it an exotic “Classic Car” like you might a Porsche, Ferrari, or Lotus or even a Corvette but the Beemer crowd in the 90s was what it was. (sorry I hate that phrase too) The 320i didn’t impress anyone and if anything, just made me look like an upper scale poverty drug dealer. 325s were the car all the yuppies were driving. I was hoping old would be new again like the BMW 2000. But I haven’t seen a 320I since I donated mine.

My girl friend at the time left me because she knew I couldn’t afford a 5 series BMW.(The Bitch)

MY BABY

Now, you’re probably expecting me to say: “I finally bought a Porsche”. But the vehicle I refer to as my baby, (believe it or not) is an old beat up 1998 Chevy Astro Cargo Van. Why is this my baby? Because I’ve owned it for 12 years now and all I’ve had to do is replace the usual crap like a fuel pump, water pump, Breaks, Power steering hose and a few batteries. I’ve finally come to appreciate the car that you can rely on. I’ve never owned any vehicle this long. But if you have a truck or a van, you’ll always have lots of friends that want you to move a 6 foot couch that won’t fit in their Prius. I think marriage should be this way. One reason I got this van was to move a half ton of musical equipment around. I literally used it to move my household stuff from Monterey to Carmel. (Only about 10 miles) it’s made numerous trips from San Francisco to Washington State. And on a whimsical spur of the moment act of spontaneity (this last June); it drove from Nevada, over the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range to central California and back the same day with over 165 K on the odometer.

I wrote a song on my last album that starts out: “We Love People not Things. We use Things not People”. I must admit that I’ve become quite fond on the old beat up Van. I say beat up because it got T-boned and rather than fix it, AT&T sent her to auction. My Van guy who specialized in refurbished Vans told me he had a great Van with nothing wrong with it except it had the driver’s side panel crushed in at the bottom. It’s not THAT much of an eye sore, but he was happy to find a home for it. But it runs like Jerry Rice. I took it for about 6 K (U.S.) and it’s only broken down on the freeway once and that was when the fuel pump went out. Not bad for 12 years. I credit its’ longevity not to love, but to the fact that it was an AT&T repair vehicle. They have guys that change plugs and oil on vehicles whether they need it or not. So for the first four years, this Van was raised like it was in a Montessori school. So for those of you buying new cars; take that sucker in every 4 to 5 months for an oil change. That has to be the reason this Van has driven so long.

A YEAR AGO

After buying a quaint little 3 bedroom house on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe, I had a decent balance in my savings account. So I was browsing EBAY to see what 914s where going for. And let me preface this by saying, in 1985 when my youngest was born, I bought him a very cute 1/14 scale Porsche 928. This was the fastest street legal car ever built. It was guaranteed to go 157 MPH off of the assembly line. It was the coolest looking Porsche I’d ever seen. BTW, it is pronounced Poor- Shuh ; not Porsh. (I was admonished in L.A. on the correct enunciation of the make) But anyway, I bought it for my new born because I wanted him to have dreams. He would grow up and watch fast and furious and gain an interest in Japanese Rice Rockets. The 928 which was created by Tony Lapine, the maker of the 1963 Chevy Split Window Sting Ray, was the first pure Porsche. Nothing came from the VW plant. Now I don’t know how it happened, I figured I would find a 914 and have to work on it and it would be my new money pit. But as soon as I entered Porsche 9 into the EBAY search engine, this beautiful RED 928 popped up. I think it said Ace on the driver side door. (Just kidding) but I fell for it. Especially the part that said: “Runs great”. As fate would have it. The broker had to flip this car quick for taxes and he had a business in L.A. next to a Mercedes dealership. Someone had traded in a gorgeous rust free 928 on a new Mercedes. I wired him the money and in two days, I was actually backing my new Porsche off of the delivery truck.

Yeah it had been raped. I think the guys in the shop stole my gold plated Porsche hood crest and the stereo. My spark wires are from Kragen not BOSCH, and it was leaking drops of everything. So I found the best Porsche guy in the area who had my radiator rebuilt. For some reason, if you move up here, don’t be surprised if your power steering hose goes out on you. (I’ve replaced the Van and the 928’s) But I’ve put about 2K additionally in it since I’ve owned it. (That includes a new Blaupunkt) I only take it out on weekends. I bought a trickle charger for those “Snowed in” weeks. And I still have a yearning for the 914. But the 928 is like having a German mistress. (Heidi Klum comes to mind)

The 98 Van is the wife that is always there. What else could a man ask for? And, my Van never gets jealous when I take the 928 out and drive it hard.

FATE

I never would have gotten this 928, (Which is the only driving/preserved 928 in my county) had the stars not aligned just right and the previous owner not traded this into the Mercedes dealership next to the broker I dealt with who needed to get rid of it fast so he could pay his taxes. And I still know in the back of my mind that this little sweet heart could get stolen or T-boned in an Area 51 second. So I’m avoiding getting emotional about it.

Will I get a 914? Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. If I was offered a Ferrari or a “McLaren” I wouldn’t get excited about it. It’s just stuff that will go to someone else after I die. I’m thankful God allowed me to own a “Top of the line” Porsche that is capable of going over 200 MPH. I’m still just a regular guy. I don’t go to the Porsche Club of America events. I don’t wear Porsche polo shirts or cuff links. What I own does not and never has defined me. I don’t have a license plate frame on my Van that says: “My other car is…..” Nope, but the more I drive K1 (The 928), the more I’m bonding with it. It’s just a nice car.

That 15 year old version of me that drooled over the 914 every morning on the way to school would have been proud of this car.

NEVER GIVE UP

August 5, 2014 by Ace in Culture, Personal Development | Leave a comment

“Never give up! Never give up! Never, never give up! ~ Winnie Churchill

This is often a mantra used when trying to attain success. Success rarely has a predictable timeline. If it does, question the sincerity of it. When someone calls you on the phone and says: “You’ve just one a vacation in Florida”, or “You’ve been chosen to receive a free trip to the Bahamas, and you know you didn’t do anything to receive a gift remember the horse of Troy.

But I’m not going to talk about success and achievement. I want to talk about survival. Humans can be benevolent creatures and and sub-humans are evil. After seeing recent pictures of 8 year old girls being beheaded in Syria just because they are Christians, it made me think of Daniel Pearl. We were all shocked as this was the first real public beheading put on the internet. I didn’t watch it but I’ve seen how these sub humans lined up behind a subdued human and began the beheading process. I asked myself, would I have allowed myself to be a prop for a terror organization? Being former military, I know the 3 responses to fear or conflict. It’s Fight – Flight – or Freeze. When you freeze, you “Give up”. “Never Give Up”! You think you have no weapon or gun to fight back with.

I’m here to tell you that God gave you 4 extremities that are very lethal used correctly. You don’t have to know Jeet Kune Do to defend yourself or kill your attacker. You can crush a wind pipe with your thumb and first two fingers. If you’ve been detained with hand and or ankle cuffs, You have two more lethal weapons, (or neutralizing weapons) You have a forehead which is the hardest part of your body. It is quite simple to break your captor’s nose putting him in immense severe pain with a swift forehead butt to the nose. If this renders your opponent neutral, use the second weapon God gave you to finish him off, it’s the weapon of the wild; Your teeth. You can not only crush your opponents windpipe with your fingers, but you can crush it with your teeth. Just to the side of his wind pipe is a large vascular structure called the carotid artery. One bite of that and he will bleed out quicker than being shot with an AK-47. If your mouth is taped shut, use your heels or elbows. Use anything. Use a shoulder to try and break through doors or cheap walls. If you get shot, you will only die once. Or you may even live. You won’t give your captures the satisfaction of turning your life into a dog and pony show. People on PCP can do the unthinkable. The human body is an amazing thing.

Finally, a story about a Starling. It’s a black bird that is not that attractive but they seem to be every where. I let my dogs out and the female who is supposedly part wolf found a starling trapped in some sod netting. We haven’t decided what to do with this huge area of our back yard. So there are still places where sod net is on the ground. After chasing off the dogs, I put on a pair of gloves and untangled this helpless creature from this awful plastic trap. But as I was trying to calm the bird down; it was using all three forms of fear response, it was trying to bite me with its’ little beak. It was flapping its’ wings to literally fly away and occasionally it would freeze, and calm down. This can be a good strategy to fool your capture. I knew that it saw me as a potential predator. But I watched as it used nature’s instincts to try and free its’ self. This little bird, not much bigger than a canary was biting at me.

When I finally got it untangled, I held it with both hands and rubbed the top of its’ head to let it know I was not a predator. After a minute of relaxing, I opened my hands and it flew away. I was impressed by the will to survive that this little bird showed. Although he was still in the palm of my hands, he never gave up. As soon as I opened my hands, he didn’t hesitate to fly.

Remember this if you are ever detained illegally against your will. Fight then flight. Use Freeze to gather your strength then surprise your attacker. Never lay on the ground and let someone kick you. NEVER GIVE UP.

END OF TIMES

July 28, 2014 by Ace in Culture, History, Personal Development, Politics, Spiritual Relilgion | Leave a comment

I’m not talking about “The End of the World as We Know It” or EOTWAWKI. But simply the end of the World for mankind. President Reagan once said that America is the last free nation on the earth. He also said we’re just one generation away from losing our freedom. There are those who are envious of our freedom and rather than fight for their own freedom; they want to see us lose our freedom. This will result is a global war of good vs. evil.

The Bible talks about the destruction of the earth in the Final Book of the New Testament, Revelation. The Apostle Paul in his last letter to Timothy talked about the end of times.

Rather than go through Book Chapter and verse; let me give you the gist of it. He said Evil will do Battle with Good. We’re not talking about your side versus my side Evil. Or a Giants vs. The Dodgers good and bad. But that which represents good via Satanic measures vs that which wants the good for all. We could easily be in a situation where just pockets of humanity exist. Should Evil get its’ hand on WMDs, and other countries retaliate, the world will become a small place quite quickly.

We’ve been told that in the final days The Earth will shake. Fish will stack up on the beach. Volcanoes will erupt. The water will turn to red. There will be wars and rumors of war (Ukraine, Gaza, Syria, Iraq)? Paul used the term, tickled. “They will want their ears tickled”. An anti-Christ will arise. (Promising hope and change)? Finally, a great war will take place in the Holy land.

Have you seen Israel lately?

Rockets launched continually from Gaza

I will refrain from showing the multiple beheading pictures. Just know that it is coming to America. Obama has no plan nor interest in stopping it. As he proclaimed to Turkey, America is the largest Muslim nation.

What were some of the situations or signs that the prophets gave us that we could objectively look for?

“Remember that there will be difficult times in the last days. People will be selfish, greedy, boastful”

They will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce; they will hate the good;

Christian girl in Syria

“They will be treacherous, reckless, and swollen with pride; they will love pleasure rather than God”

“They will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power. Keep away from such people. Some of them go into people’s houses and gain control over weak women who are burdened by the guilt of their sins and driven by all kinds of desires, women who are always trying to learn but who can never come to know the truth”.

Nobody will know when. But it could be today, next week or next month. But we are that close. Don’t be fooled. Get right with God and get your house in order.

	John Spear on Emotion lost to the Ocean
	Chris on Big Tits and other Lies
	Andreas on WHEN LIFE IS A VENDING MA…
	Jeff Weaver on Schönes Geburtstag Erich …
	Big Bro on The Guitar Slinger part 1…

Ace's Cafe Americain

A Site for the common man with exceptional goals

Category Archives: Culture